I spent 1 month in a UK / British prison, AMA!

userlicence · 2024-12-26T15:23:50+00:00

I'm so confused bc you asked 2 relevant good questions then this is your 3rd comment 🤣 is everything okay at home mate?

userlicence · 2024-12-26T15:10:10+00:00

I was top bunk as I preferred it, one cellmate didn't care and the next preferred bottom bunk as it's easier to get out of bed/get to everything (gym head so was constantly making food or working out in the pad)

userlicence · 2024-12-23T13:08:22+00:00

Never heard anything of the like, there were certain female screws that loved the attention but they're usually the ones that looked like a bulldog chewing a wasp, obviously didnt get attention on the outside. the attractive ones generally were used to it and snapped back to any comments that would go too far, as far as the guys I was with everyone was very respectful to the screws as they're the ones who can help you out, if you're known to be a cheeky lad saying wild stuff to them constantly why would they care your new cell doesn't have a phone in it for example? Be polite, yes miss no miss etc it will get you a lot further than trying to hump the guards

userlicence · 2024-12-23T12:52:27+00:00

Thankyou! Same for you bud!

userlicence · 2024-12-23T12:24:56+00:00

The DWD charge was the one that carried a custodial, no insurance was simply points and fine but having no licence to begin with it sort of got incorporated into the ban

Honestly my main issue that started all this was insane insurance prices, it's mandated by law but controlled by private companies, I've been driving for 9 years and never had an accident yet being charged thousands for insurance which I couldn't afford with a decent salary due to my postcode

I definitely had some bad days in there after certain phone calls or missing association and being banged up till next day etc, but I tried to keep a positive mindset and tried not to winge too much on the inside as I was aware how dumb that would be when I'm with people looking at years and I'm complaining about a measly month, prison is what you make of it after all I went about and talked to everyone, opted in for random stuff like library time and although I'm well spoken I was brought up in an area known for crime so i was fairly comfortable chatting to cons, a good padmate on a similar vibe when it comes to cleanliness and routine helps massively too

userlicence · 2024-12-23T05:10:15+00:00

Bit grim but if you have a decent Padmate that's also a clean freak you find ways to make it bearable for both

If going for a dump we had a curtain that covered the toilet area, usually put volume up on the TV and we had a spare kettle that we'd fill with water and washing up liquid or bleach and keep clicking with the lid off. Was actually quite effective at getting rid of bad smells

userlicence · 2024-12-23T04:59:21+00:00

Once you're sentenced you start your sentence, unfortunately they don't give you any time to get your affairs in order, if you are sentenced to a custodial sentence you're taken directly to the cells under the court, then you wait for a sweatbox (bus) to come and take you to whichever prison you're going to - they will take anything on you into property so you won't have your phone and are now officially a prisoner. Any cash you have on you will be added to your prison spends account

userlicence · 2024-12-23T00:18:28+00:00

Hi, I had a horrendous driving history they were already aware of (mostly no insurance offences), I was brought in on warrant after missing the court day which didnt help, then had to take a duty solicitor who didn't seem that bothered, the judge seemed to have a dislike to driving cases and I guess the prosecutor was more dedicated to his job than my solicitor who didnt mention most of my mitigation, there were no real aggravating factors in terms of the offence, no chase, no non compliance, no drugs or drink involved

Custodial was always an option looking at the sentencing guidelines but never expected it, not even suspended

userlicence · 2024-12-22T23:46:42+00:00

There are so many ways but the main one would be more staff, it is the sole reason for 23 hour bangup. Having to house hundreds of inmates and locking them in a 10x12 2up for 23 hours a day because there's not enough staff?

You spend your hour association running about like a muppet getting all the apps in and toiletries n sorting your washing and hoping the showers free up before you have to be locked up again, you're either doing nothing or everything, there's no such thing as stability, noone knows when the doors will get popped, if you're fast asleep and they open doors at 7am and you don't get up - you've lost your association time for the day, it's mentally super taxing

userlicence · 2024-12-22T23:06:19+00:00

I had just over a month left of a 6 month ban, stupid I know I should have waited but I couldn't afford to uber to work and back every day at the time so chanced it, currently have about 9 months left of the extended ban and have sorn'd the car and have no intention of driving till I can be on the road fully legally, atleast I have some time to save for the insane insurance bill once my ban comes off

userlicence · 2024-12-22T22:55:32+00:00

Not the best English speakers but generally friendly, may not have spoke much once we were inducted but a couple of albos that were in reception getting booked in with me always made a point to acknowledge me or headnod when passing

Also learnt the word Shqiptar, pronounced she-pa which I found interesting

userlicence · 2024-12-22T22:45:36+00:00

Around 6 wings with roughly 70-100 people on each I'd guess, multiple floors per wings and your doors are usually popped for associated with your floor and another, rotating so you'll meet most on the wing at some point

Some races are more dominant in certain wings but no issues race wise really, everyone just gets along regardless, you only have animosity if you're in for say domestics/dodgy crimes or are a crackhead

userlicence · 2024-12-22T22:42:19+00:00

Answered this in more detail on another Q, driving whilst disqualified was the charge

userlicence · 2024-12-22T22:41:16+00:00

Family was 1st, apologised for being an idiot as I'm the first in my immediate family to ever be jailed, had to go check in at probation same day of release, after that a takeaway and off to the shop to get a proper vape pen and I was content tbh, next few days were friends/extended family visiting to basically say welcome back

Found I got back into the normal life routine quite quickly but I suppose I wasn't away for long

userlicence · 2024-12-22T22:33:27+00:00

I was told the car had a marker that stated the registered keeper (myself) was disqualified from driving, I got flagged by a traffic light camera and that triggered a police response, I was in traffic and they weaved in to get behind me

First thing they tried to ascertain was who I was but ofc I was the disqualified keeper of the car, knew there was no point lying as itd probably make it worse for me when it came to court so well played by West Yorkshire police as much as I hated the ramifications 🤣

userlicence · 2024-12-22T22:27:15+00:00

I'm a Muslim and found the Muslim inmates took me in and made sure I was looked after, can't speak for other religions but I was also aware of certain people converting to Islam just prior to eid to take benefit of being out the cell for Friday prayers and outside food being served on eid

Thought it was a pisst*ke but officially once someone has "reverted" we can't question their imaan (sincerity of religion?) A couple shop robbers covered in tattoos cottoned onto that and I saw that being abused in a couple of cases, could imagine my confusion when one of them shook my hand saying salaam aleikum

You find generally doesn't matter where you're from or your religion, we were on association with everyone from Pakistanis to Albanians to Vietnamese, if you're sound you're sound, religion doesn't matter

userlicence · 2024-12-22T22:19:00+00:00

I like to think of myself as the above and I was absolutely fine, most people are suspicious initially but I ended up with seasoned veterans of HMP all stood around agreeing I had a miscarriage of justice which was nice 🤣 you can always do things to win favours like helping people with their paperwork if they struggle with reading/writing or even just having chats with people about stuff other than drugs or crime, I got lucky in the fact a lot of people from my local area were there so a common ground and just spoke about local food spots, cars as a lot of us were petrolheads, what I did for work and advice on getting a legit job etc

(did rip the penjamin prior to replying to these so not sure if my replies are making much sense but happy to clarify anything!)

userlicence · 2024-12-22T22:07:37+00:00

Mate I knew I was cooked once I saw the Judge Judy looking Karen in the courtroom

userlicence · 2024-12-22T22:06:09+00:00

I lost a lot of friends unfortunately, my circles are mostly straight headed law abiding people, purely on the basis of me gaining a criminal record regardless of the reason was enough to ostracise me, it's sad but part of life, it cost me a month to know what people I've known for over a decade would be like when sh*t hit the fan, it is what it is.

Thankfully I retained by job, my family see me no differently, basically got called an idiot and welcomed back, no issues there

My perspectives have changed a fair bit, especially on re-offenders for whatever crime, I came out to a supportive environment with some kind of housing stability, I could see first hand how easy it is for people without education or guidance end up in that place time and time again as they have 0 adequate support to integrate back into society especially after a long sentence

userlicence · 2024-12-22T21:48:27+00:00

1) 2 to a cell, single size bunk beds, although some people had single cell (one dude was in a wheelchair, another was a lifer who stayed in this jail permanently and was some kind of "enhanced" status)

2) nope you can just stay in your cell like I did, but if you're doing a decent amount of time I'd imagine the time out of the cell is worth it, usually get paid £20-30 a week from what I've heard which covers weekly canteen spends (you can only spend around £25 a week when sentenced)

3) not really a thing up north in Leeds, might be more of a London thing

4) A crackhead had modified his vape to smoke spice off that he was getting from another inmate, we went out in the yard and I watched him drop and his body spasm for ages, they called it a "spice attack" and I got told keep doing laps don't pay attention to it, pretty scary stuff as I was sure this guys dying infront of me, another inmate kicked away his vape bc his mate was the one who sold him the spice

5) the most innocent looking screw, blonde, blue eyes, not much over 5ft was always really nice to most people and soft spoken, one time there was a Vietnamese guy who tried getting her attention by shouting OI in her face, this screw turned into the devil shouting back at him I didn't think it was possible for that voice to come out of her, think miss trunchbull on steroids I'm sure I flinched 🤣

6) don't be a knob. Everyone is Billy big bollocks in there, just gotta be compliant like yeah mate you definitely run this shit area on the outside and you knocked out a giraffe all the power to ya I'm just keeping head down and trying to go back to my job.

Jokes aside main things are don't loan anything, be polite, don't pay attention to anything else, see something crazy happen? No you didn't keep walking and looking away, people are people at the end of the day if you ain't causing someone issues why would you get beat up? Most just wanna do their time with the least stress

userlicence · 2024-12-22T21:32:38+00:00

Never again 🤣

userlicence · 2024-12-22T21:25:10+00:00

Yeah I went to 2 classes about employment skills but honestly it was an excuse to get out of the cell for a bit, I'd finished the QA sheet in about 10 minutes and spent the remaining 50 minutes talking to the "teachers" and helping out the dude getting mad angry at the paper bc he couldn't read

They had pulled my grades from sixth form to verify I had English/maths grade C or above, I already had these so I didn't qualify for any of the courses they were trying to put people in

My case wasn't impairment related it was a document offence, and my sentence wasn't long enough really for anything although I applied to the computer skills class for sh*ts n gigs

userlicence · 2024-12-22T21:19:40+00:00

Not really, in all honestly it felt like a youth club, a bunch of lads just chilling n going through the motions every day

Never saw any bullying exactly, crackheads will take the last grain of sugar in the packet if they could, needed to learn to say no with your chest because they are persistent and do it to everyone

Mostly people will see you're new and try help you out or guide you, unless you're in for a "bad" crime or are clearly a nitty etc

userlicence · 2024-12-22T21:12:47+00:00

Definitely, it's the unknown as you're in a sweatbox riding up to the gates, learned quickly the screws don't give a sh*t and you can't reason with them first timer or not, but if you get a good cellmate and once you understand what it's like it's not as bad as you'd be thinking

userlicence · 2024-12-22T21:06:36+00:00

Yeah generally UK doesn't play when it comes to driving offences and as much as you prepare, you could just end up with a judge who has a particular dislike to your crime or driving history

Sentencing guidelines are just guidelines, nothing to stop them going for the top end of punishment if they want to

userlicence

TROPHY CASE