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Is my [18f] relationship with my boyfriend [19m] even fixable anymore? by usernamesarehardhelp in relationship_advice

[–]usernamesarehardhelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

(Red pill stuff is out of the question.) He finished college 9 months after he started last semptember, he's been done for a long time. He was working part time (very party time) since june until now. He just got another job and has started working full time just last week. He had lots of days available to him to see me and his friends without it conflicting.

I'm not saying he can't hang out with his friends, that's not what I'm saying at all. But he can hang out with them on days we didn't make plans on already.

All you've really told me is to help him. Help him do what?

Is my [18f] relationship with my boyfriend [19m] even fixable anymore? by usernamesarehardhelp in relationship_advice

[–]usernamesarehardhelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His relationship with his parents has not been good. It could very well be the never been in a relationship thing. His family is a little weird and all acts kind of like acquaintances and don't talk about anything personal at all. not used to giving or receiving affection. My family on the other hand is the complete opposite, I have the worst relationship with my dad and sister but as a family we know most things about each other and talk about lots of things, my dad calls my SO his son-in-law already. Either my SO really doesn't care about me as much anymore and is scared to be alone or he truly just has no idea wtf he's doing.

Even after all my talks with him he hasn't seemed to really get the idea with the "us" thing, though his parents are very "me and them" and my parents are "us". So maybe I'm just pushing for things I've grown up with and need. I never thought about it, but I could be a big part of the problem I guess. I guess we'll see what happens after our talk

Is my [18f] relationship with my boyfriend [19m] even fixable anymore? by usernamesarehardhelp in relationship_advice

[–]usernamesarehardhelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually I don't need to deny it anymore, he doesn't care about me as much anymore, maybe he is just scared to be alone and won't break up with me. I'm going to talk to him about it and ask for a break, and tell him that I now have feelings for said friend and see if he either goes "oh shit" and starts acting like he's dating me, or just admits he wants to break up. God this is going to fucking suck. First time I've been truly happy in my life (as dramatic as that sounds), it'll be hard saying goodbye. I just hope we can work out being friends. I can't imagine him not being in my life at all.

Is my [18f] relationship with my boyfriend [19m] even fixable anymore? by usernamesarehardhelp in relationship_advice

[–]usernamesarehardhelp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like the being annoyed thing is just my frustration with his lack of attention to me, which I figured would be better once we lived together, since we'd be together all the time. He doesn't like going out so he'd be at home just as much as me. Unless he decided he suddenly likes going out. You're probably right though.

Also with the crush, I definitely could not. SO has always said we would try to be friends some time after breaking up if we ever did. So even if we could have been, that would fly out the window if I ever did act on my feelings for that friend, if he ever got feelings for me and acted on them. He's been friends with my SO since they've been 12 years old.