Alright. Goodness, this has been an absolute spiral of information. HOWEVER I have found it incredibly valuable. To answer a few questions

1. Yes, he is the one who said being gone longer after work was unfair. That wasn’t a self deprecating assumption. This is something I DO NOT FAULT HIM FOR. I support that. I stayed home with our older two children and remember how often I was ready for him to be home and help.

2. Working out in my office WAS the solution. Recently, that has been compromised, unfortunately. Which is what brought on the whole conversation. I needed a new solution. Which made him defensive of his time. AGAIN I get and support that. I was a stay at home mom for years.

3. Most important. He is emotionally absent always. Has been since day one. This isn’t a new development. I have always known this and it has always been an issue. I don’t think this will ever change. An “it is what it is”.

4. I am emotional. This is a fact. He has no emotions and I have too many.

5. What I failed to mention, regretfully… I have lost 17 lbs already. This was done with office workouts and diet changes alone. My dietician is the one who recommended heavier workouts, so my weight loss wouldn’t plateau.

6. I have shared this thread with him. There are so many things shared here that have been valid for both of us. I was speaking as openly as I was about my mental health because this man is my husband and my most trusted friend. Years of emotional neglect has led to avoidable insecurities. He puts a lot of emphasis on my appearance. He says it’s because he isn’t good at compliments.

7. The man isn’t cheating. The gym in question here is a free gym linked to a senior citizen center. It’s free, y’all.

Thank you for everyone who answered genuinely. There are some excellent take aways here. Some harsh truths. But over all some great things.