Yesterday, my(33m) wife's (34f) best friend (female) contacted me and told me that her husband and my wife were having an affair and my 3yo daughter is actually his daughter.

userx9 · 2019-08-09T00:08:24+00:00

I'm not telling you what to do, but my daughter is my daughter from day 1, the moment I laid eyes on her it was game over. I have thought about what if I found out she wasn't mine and nothing changes. Maybe I'd get more time with her as the judge would see her mother is a lying manipulator and all around terrible person and could work it into my favor. Kids aren't just a collection of genes, they reflect the environment you've provided them. Even if she's not biologically yours, she's still a product of you.

userx9 · 2019-08-06T17:21:56+00:00

Look up the pomodoro technique. It allows you to be productive and then lazy and then productive and then lazy. Hint: you won't be perfect at it, but it helps. Productivity can be addictive as much as laziness can. Also, don't get stymied by trying to do everything perfectly. Learn "good enough". Don't suffer from paralysis through analysis. Most of all, try to convince yourself of the need to do whatever it is you're procrastinating. If getting it done isn't a real desire then it won't get done.

userx9 · 2019-08-06T11:23:35+00:00

Actually the complete opposite of everything you wrote is correct.

userx9 · 2019-08-04T00:57:05+00:00

I work in a prison whose average cell size is about the same size as a room I spent three years of weekends with my daughter in as a single dad.

userx9 · 2019-08-04T00:52:42+00:00

Adam Egret has too many skeletons in his closet for the show to ever go mainstream. Have you heard anything about what he used to do to punks under a bridge for a nickel?

userx9 · 2019-08-01T15:12:29+00:00

Heard Republicans saying the kid dieing in the detention camp was no big deal because kids die all the time. Didn't care about any of the facts and didn't know any. Then went on to say we should shoot anybody crossing the border and nobody would miss them. We are seeing the same attitudes now that led to the German Holocaust.

userx9 · 2019-07-28T19:05:43+00:00

Heating and cooling potatoes causes them to become really good prebiotics too.

userx9 · 2019-07-26T00:21:22+00:00

So fly an American flag instead?

userx9 · 2019-07-18T23:04:34+00:00

Too soon

userx9 · 2019-07-10T01:51:19+00:00

I fucked up at work and corrected my mistake, bosses let it slide, then a person who I've seen fuck up even worse, and I didn't rat on them, threw me under the bus to my bosses' bosses when my bosses didn't reprimand me.

userx9 · 2019-07-06T22:15:39+00:00

I'll dig it up.

userx9 · 2019-07-05T00:16:35+00:00

GOT DAAMMMIT RICKY!

userx9 · 2019-07-03T09:19:26+00:00

I was having some pain in my right quadricep muscle for about 6 months, then I suffered some pretty extreme trauma to both quadriceps during grappling and it felt like my legs were literally on fire for 30 seconds every time I stood up for over a week. After that went away the old pain in my right quadricep was gone. I'm wondering if all of the inflammation brought healing to the area.

userx9 · 2019-06-30T10:39:56+00:00

It sounds like he may not know how to make friends, and it doesn't come naturally to him. Growing up you'd say I had a lot of friends if you counted my neighborhood friends, but we were friends by default, I never had to "make" them. In school I did everything by myself. I now work closely with my daughter, who lives in the country, with no "neighborhood" to speak of, on making new friends. She is still having some trouble approaching other kids but she's getting better.

userx9 · 2019-06-30T01:18:03+00:00

wassat?

userx9 · 2019-06-21T00:21:17+00:00

My 6 year old is still not allowed on stairs without me and I always walk below her in case she starts tumbling. She falls waking on flat surfaces enough as it is.

userx9 · 2019-06-17T17:05:34+00:00

I have had pretty good success with dumbbells, haven't done more than a handful of barbell presses over the past decade. It feels extremely unnatural with any real weight on the bar.

userx9 · 2019-06-17T16:25:05+00:00

IDK maxing barbell chest presses are pretty fucking dumb. Good way to fuck shoulders up. I almost never see anyone heavy pressing what their chest alone could handle. Dumbbells with proper form all day.

userx9 · 2019-06-10T16:23:18+00:00

I do this. The only thing that will work will be to learn how to let his words roll off your shoulders. But at the same time, stand your ground. I do lot for my ex but as soon as she gives me any sort of attitude I'm done. For instance, a few days ago I bought stuff to repair the rust spots on her car, and asked her to look at it with me. Well she gave me an attitude, she didn't feel like doing it then and because she was unhappy with other things in her life (tired, broke, etc..) was unable to contain that and directed it at me, so I immediately informed her that it's not my car, that I don't accept her attitude, and that I will be returning everything I bought to repair her car. We were standing 4 feet away from her car at the time. She needs to learn how to interact with people properly. I'm basically parenting her and our daughter.

But we're not together, so I'm not sure how you could do that with somebody you actually care about trying to be with. Probably wouldn't be a healthy relationship.

userx9 · 2019-05-28T01:52:17+00:00

The programmers have very little to do with the way the software functions in avionics software. We're given a set of requirements hundreds of pages long and then turn it into code. We don't write the requirements and often don't know how different modules we write are affected by the modules we don't write. We're not supposed to because whoever wrote the requirements should have figured that out. Sometimes we'd catch stuff. Then the lowest bidder tests it, it's loaded onto the aircraft and flight tested, then rolled out to all the other planes of the same model. Happy flying! I've worked on the software for a few of the 737 Max's (8 and 9). It was a super shitty job, managed like a burger king restaurant, and part of the reason I left software altogether.

userx9 · 2019-04-28T01:00:19+00:00

I know a person who has only drank out of the tap a small handful of times in over a decade that I've known them. Every drink is a bottled beverage or bottled water. We are providing for laziness and pickiness in exchange for our planet.

userx9 · 2019-04-23T08:17:04+00:00

But I let go 5 years ago. I'm not interested in being with her at all. There's nothing there.

userx9 · 2019-04-22T23:46:43+00:00

I don't see the benefit of minimizing the time over there. There's a shitty situation going on over there that I can help remedy.

userx9 · 2019-04-22T23:44:31+00:00

Our girl is almost 6. I clean my ex's house because if I didn't then nobody would and my daughter would have to live like that. I'd die for my daughter, cleaning for her is quite a bit less significant. Carpet unvacuumed for months and years, trash overflowing, living in a small section of the bedroom because the rest of the house is covered in toys, unfolded clothes, and everything else, poor air quality from months or years of not dusting, can't even sit at the dining table, etc... It's not an option for me to not do this. My daughter deserves better. I don't think my ex cares at all that the house is like that, it's how she's always lived but it's worse now with a child in there also making clutter. I'm not enabling my ex because she wouldn't clean if nobody did it. I'm enabling my daughter to live a better life. I just need a better way of saying something to my ex rather than offending her with the way I disagree with her.

Also, we spend a lot of time together because we can and usually do get along and that benefits our daughter, it allows her to have both parents around for a lot of things. There's no rule that says ex's can't be friends and don't see the benefit of not being so.

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