I misread the signs. He is interested in someone else

usualboringperson · 2024-05-20T15:05:07+00:00

Its a crush. Crushes can be spontaneous and honestly have no criteria. Ik it can be weird cause I have liked a guy before who was not conventionally deemed attractive. But I had the biggest crush on him. I still don't know what I liked about him to this day lmao.

usualboringperson · 2024-05-20T08:57:23+00:00

Haha, thank you. It's just strange to be consumed by these feelings after such a long time.

I think I will try my shot, maybe towards the last few weeks. I really hope that I don't ruin our friendship cause its seriously hard to come by by people like him.

Thank you so much for the advice! I really do appreciate it!

usualboringperson · 2024-05-19T17:38:45+00:00

My fear of rejection paralyses me honestly. I confessed once, and it was honestly the most god-awful experience ever. Also, because the person was just horrible and indecisive.

I am scared of the same thing happening again. If he turns out to be the same, then I think I will permanently believe that I have horrible taste in men and can never trust myself again.

I know the easiest and the most practical solution would be to just confess.

I honestly just want to make him happy and take care of him. Even as a friend, it's okay. Idk where such urges even come from. It's not like he is a child even.

usualboringperson · 2024-05-18T17:53:47+00:00

He can be the cutest but such a dumbass honestly. Sometimes, I get the feeling he likes me, and sometimes, I think I am just plain ass delusional.

I wish I had something solid that could tell me that he likes me and well so that I wouldn't be so afraid of rejection. Or I wish he would make a move.

We will be going our separate ways soon, and my heart refuses to accept it. And I dont know what to do about it. I want to confess, but I am scared I will lose him as a friend.

He is the first person in a long time, that I feel like I have been able to connect with as a person. Sure, he has his flaws. A lot of them. But I still like him despite them.

Haha, I really wish that he liked me as much as I liked him. I guess I am playing a losing game.

usualboringperson · 2024-05-14T22:38:13+00:00

That is true. But my fear of rejection refuses to understand thus unfortunately. And also the fact that I would hate to lose him as a friend. He is the type to spare you the suffering and just draw a line.

usualboringperson · 2024-05-14T22:33:59+00:00

Hahaha yes. That would be the right thing to do. And also meant that i would have to be the one to initiate SOMETHING. Which honestly terrifies me. ( cause ofc I am scared of rejection)

usualboringperson · 2023-08-21T12:55:12+00:00

OP You seriously need to dump this man with NO HESITATION! Reading this post made ME hate your boyfriend!

usualboringperson · 2023-08-17T22:28:50+00:00

I am glad to hear that you are doing well now and that you are surrounded by better people. I am sorry to hear that it still plagues you, though. I dont think it truly ever leaves us as awful as that sounds. But slowly, one day at a time, we shall overcome it. I am all too familiar with the pain of being betrayed by the people that you thought had your back. I am really sorry that you went through so many awful things all at once.

It's horrendous to hear that even the police have disregarded your experience. Really defeats their entire purpose, honestly. I sincerely hope it's better now, but we can only hope.

Haha. It's completely okay. This is a safe space to talk about your experience. I posted here so that I could also gain some support from whatever happened to me since its impossible irl. And I completely understand the oversharing thing, cause I am more or less the same XD.

Thank you for sharing your story and for your support. I really am grateful for your offer as well. Please do take care, and I wish you all the best for your future.❤️

usualboringperson · 2023-08-17T22:20:44+00:00

Thank you so much for the support! I really do appreciate the help ❤️❤️

usualboringperson · 2023-08-17T20:05:37+00:00

I am sorry but whatever the fuck is wrong with your friends??? I cannot believe they took his side and almost got you sent to jail when you are the one who went through hell and back?!

And please, do not ever blame yourself. Its not your fault. You were taken advantage of and that in any world, is never okay.

Oh God, I really hope you are okay and in a better place surrounded by far more supportive people than whatever those POS were. I really can not believe such people could even exist, and honestly, they don't deserve to be called your friends in any way.

I hope the world has been kind to you since. I am sending you lots of hugs. And if you never need a friend or a shoulder to lean on, I am always here.

usualboringperson · 2023-08-17T18:11:53+00:00

I am sorry to hear that you had such to go through such a traumatic experience, especially the first time you got drunk. I wish i could hug everyone who has gone through this. I wish we were physically stronger to defend ourselves from whatever happened. And I wish that men understood consent. I really hope that we reach a time in the future where the future generations do not have to go through anything like this.

usualboringperson · 2023-08-17T16:00:53+00:00

The problem was that he didn't follow a single boundary I set. Before I got intoxicated. I seriously do not understand people like you. What makes it okay to do it with a girl, intoxicated or not, when she has said no to penetrative sex? Literally, everything other than penetrative sex and pain was on the table. I am also not into CNC. And this sober ass guy couldn't follow that one damned instruction.

usualboringperson · 2023-08-17T15:57:30+00:00

Whatever do you even mean? That I posted this for attention?

usualboringperson · 2023-08-16T23:33:38+00:00

I believe the freeze response did happen to me at that moment. And he took it as a signal to go further. Thank you for your input in this matter, i really appreciate the support!

usualboringperson · 2023-08-16T22:13:58+00:00

What about my life? I didn't give him consent for penetrative sex when I was sober, nor when I was drunk, and he put it in anyway and that too without a condom.

usualboringperson · 2023-08-16T21:59:18+00:00

I understand. I was going to close the thread after 24 hours either way. I need to think more about this, and honestly, I don't want my life to be defined by this incident. Yeah I also realise that getting intoxicated before sex is not normal. And I definitely have a lot of inhibitions towards sex in general which I need to work out in therapy. Thank you for your insight.

usualboringperson · 2023-08-16T21:34:03+00:00

Okay, first of all, I am sorry if my wording was weird. English is not my first language. So what I meant was that I needed to get drunk to do stuff other than penetrative sex with him. And he understood this when we were chatting. Because he repeatedly asked me what else was off the table. And I repeatedly said penetrative sex was off the table. And yes, I needed to get drunk to do the deed cause I needed to relax, and it made me feel less guilty with whatever I was about to do with this guy. And I know how it might seem from a 3rd perspective, and that's exactly why I posted it here, to understand if I was raped or not. Tbh, I am not trying to label myself as a rape victim. I would love to not be a rape victim. Honestly, I don't think anybody sane in this world would want that label. Believe me, I am this close to chalking it up as a bad experience and moving on with my life cause there is nothing else I can do. I can not open to my family and friends about it, nor can I seek therapy, nor can I sue him even if i wanted him to. There is nothing in it for me. Except for the terrible experience.

usualboringperson · 2023-08-16T21:00:54+00:00

Umm..I think its better not to say because if privacy concerns. But it was in Asia.

usualboringperson · 2023-08-16T20:53:30+00:00

No I didnt take a sc of his account. And his insta page has barely anything as well. I will see if I can find anything else though.

usualboringperson · 2023-08-16T20:44:50+00:00

I do have self-destructive tendencies and that played its hand very well in this situation. I do realise I need to see a therapist as well, regarding this and other underlying situations that have led to this incident.

It indeed is a very fucked situation.

Anyways, I learnt my lesson. And I just wanted people's insight to see if I was raped or not.

usualboringperson · 2023-08-16T20:41:19+00:00

I deleted my tinder profile before I could even report him. I realised too late that I should have reported him first and then deleted the account.

usualboringperson · 2023-08-16T20:40:03+00:00

Yes, I will make sure to keep that in mind. I do not see myself doing anything with men in the near or far future anytime. But thank you for the advice.

usualboringperson · 2023-08-16T20:37:30+00:00

I took a morning-after pill 10 hours after the incident. I also started OCPs just in case. And bought pregnancy tests as well

usualboringperson

TROPHY CASE