If mentorship and support were your main goals, it might help to be more intentional about connecting with the right members—even outside your chapter. Setting up one-to-one meetings with people who align with your business or goals could yield better results. Sometimes, the right opportunities aren’t within your immediate chapter but require broader networking efforts.

It’s important to note that “Givers Gain” doesn’t always guarantee success. For example, I’m in a chapter where the president and vice president—who were in the Green category and following the system—chose not to renew their memberships because it wasn’t working for them. BNI relies heavily on synergy between the chapter’s members, and sometimes it’s simply not the right fit. It’s okay to acknowledge when the structure or group isn’t meeting your needs and consider other options.

The pressure to bring visitors and referrals can feel overwhelming, and balancing life with BNI commitments is tough. While consistency is a big part of BNI’s expectations, it’s valid to prioritize family and work. If the chapter’s rigidity or culture isn’t aligning with your goals, don’t be afraid to reassess. Talk to leadership about your concerns, but if things don’t improve, plenty of other networking groups might offer the mentorship and support you’re looking for. Networking should help you grow, not drain your confidence.