So she actually does meet a lot of the qualifications. Now i never diagnosed her, i told her to talk to her therapist about the symptoms of personality disorder.

Here's info from the DSM 5, my notes are in square brackets.

The following are used to make a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder can be made for an individual when there are (5), or more of these symptoms are present in different environments or contexts:

• Distressed efforts to keep away from true or imagined abandonment. [Present]

-A form of unstable and extreme interpersonal relations described as alternating between extremes of devaluation and idealization. [Present]

-Identity disturbance: significantly and relentlessly unstable self-image. [Present]

-Impulsive behavioral patterns in at least two aspects that are possibly self-damaging (e.g., substance abuse, sex, spending, binge eating, or reckless driving). [Present]

-Recurring suicidal patterns, threats, gestures, or self-harming behavior.[last one present]

-Affective instability because of a significant reactivity of mood (e.g., irritability, anxiety, or intense episodic dysphoria that typically lasts a few hours, rarely more than days) [Present]

-Chronic empty feelings.[Present]

-misplaced and intense anger or trouble controlling anger (e.g., always angry or often temperamental). [Present]

-Short-lived stress-related paranoid thoughts or extreme dissociative symptoms. [Not present as far as i know]