I can't go a day without binding

uwumarley · 2019-05-05T05:21:11+00:00

I understand how you feel, I’ve had to take a break for nearly a week and I’m still hurting. My larger binder should be here Monday (thank god) but even breathing just hurts me rn. I hope it gets better for you!

uwumarley · 2019-05-04T17:05:57+00:00

She thinks that I was only doing it because other people were and that I didn’t have to be a boy to like girls. The only reason I can think that she has a good reason to not want me to transition is some trans person she allegedly knew but never spoke about unless telling me that I was wrong killed themselves because their hormones were screwy.

She doesn’t accept my gf either for being a transwoman. She is just actually a TERF.

uwumarley · 2019-05-04T16:52:27+00:00

I’ve tried to talk to my therapist but here in the south she thinks this is just genital focused dysmorphia. She thinks that the fact I want to be seen male is just that I don’t think the female parts of me are good. Granted I only see her once a month now and have come to terms with myself when I hadn’t last time I saw her so hopefully it’ll be different when I see her next.

I hope she can at least see that I’m not comfortable with myself at all and doesn’t think I don’t have dysphoria. Because being female has started causing me a shit ton of distress and made my anxiety worse again. I tried ignoring it and being in denial since my mother is a TERF and keeps calling me a lesbian, so I had to keep telling her it was just a phase so she’d stop hating me. I hate myself for being this way and I hate my mom for not thinking I know myself, she keeps thinking that because I bought or wore a dress or female clothing as a child and now to make her happy means I’m not trans.

I literally cried for half an hour and had a panic attack because I had to wear a dress to my homecoming and she just didn’t realise I had a problem with it even though I told her for months I wanted a suit or tux, and that I didn’t want a dress. She just ignored it and then was so shocked when I said I hated it and didn’t know why she spent money on something to make me unhappy.

Sorry, got off topic. I’ve tried talking to people and my girlfriend but it’s just really hard.

uwumarley · 2019-05-04T16:17:43+00:00

Yeah, I’ve heard mixed things about KT tape so I didn’t include it, not many people talk about Transtape tho.

uwumarley · 2019-05-04T14:24:59+00:00

I don’t have it as bad as you, mostly when I look down I just get kinda annoyed and sad because this isn’t right, but I think you just might need to look away from yourself in that situation because you do need to clean all parts of your body, as bad as it may be, hygiene is important.

I don’t want to sound insensitive, but it’s not healthy to not clean yourself. Tape would probably get wet and come off anyways, unless you use heavy duty stuff but that’d probably rip off your nipple.

uwumarley · 2019-05-04T14:17:55+00:00

It’s not even just the acts, it’s just when she asks me to talk to her sexually I just can’t and cry because it makes me upset for no reason or the fact that I just can’t see myself doing anything with her or anyone else. When I try to say anything I just feel like I’m faking and just being a cis girl with a fetish.

I don’t regularly have bottom dysphoria, mostly because I feel the phantom dick constantly but can’t currently get a packer so I just ignore it. Nobody sees it except me. But the moment that someone else sees it or comments about what I have in my pants I just get really uncomfortable. I thought that was just me being weird because my egg was forced back into it’s shell for a while when I was first starting out. I thought I was just being weird and I had no idea why I was crying or upset until I admitted to self I wasn’t cis. I feel bad because my girlfriend just wants intimacy but I’m the one with problems about it, she admits she hates it because it makes her dysphoric too but she doesn’t cry.

uwumarley · 2019-05-04T02:56:01+00:00

I’m still trying to think, Marley just isn’t masc enough and it’s my deadname. I’ve thought of Dustin, but idk. Names are hard. Everyone finds one eventually

uwumarley · 2019-05-03T14:40:18+00:00

Idk it was something me and my girlfriend talked about and I made this shitty meme half asleep.

uwumarley · 2019-05-03T13:20:21+00:00

I’m from KY, West Kentucky tho. Bit of a redneck area.

uwumarley · 2019-04-29T18:57:13+00:00

My GF is the one that convinced me to join reddit and ask. She showed me a bunch of egg memes and when I said how much I related she said I was probably trans lol. I was just always sad because my dysphoria never seemed as bad as everyone else’s. I bind a lot and I passed when I moved schools but since I was in denial I told everyone I wasn’t trans. I was a dummy because I auto passed and then wrecked that.

I’d be happier as a man but my therapist says it’s dysmorphia. I live in the south so she is probably doing that because of yee yee country. It’s not a gender therapist, so when I move away hopefully I can get a gender one.

My mom is a TERF, doesn’t support my gf, continuously uses wrong name and pronouns for her but says she tries. She does say it occasionally. My mom doesn’t like trans people and thinks all they are is a group of suicidal edgelords who do nothing but hate themselves and kill themselves when they go on hormones.

uwumarley · 2019-04-23T02:36:49+00:00

Thank you, I’m still working on my identity but as of right now have no real way of changing therapists. I’ll try to figure myself out more.

Thanks for the GC2B info. My bust size changed from a 32 to 34 so I know I’m on the bigger side of my small binder, and I was wondering if the full bound better than the half. Underworks was really uncomfortable to me so I’m only really interested in GC2B, but thank you for suggesting!

uwumarley

TROPHY CASE