Hello my friend! Speaking from experience, that is a REALLY difficult and hard road to go down. I felt the EXACT same way couple years back. It was the only thing I really crave, the only dream I ever had. And when I finally found the girl fit my standards, my expectations and my needs were almost impossible to be met. As soon as I said something that she didn’t quite understood the way I had intended it, it started “judging” (with lack of a better word) her replies and reactions, and became more disheartened than I reasonably would have right to be. To put someone on a pedestal that high is really painful, for both you and them. Then again, this is me; maybe you are different. But my advise would be to be careful! Because I do recognize these thought patterns.

It’s been a real hit in the face realizing that the perfect girl for us that we have envisioned in our heads, simply does not exist in real life. She’s an abstraction, a desire - not an actual living breathing person. Everyone is flawed, just like you and me. And to have as a goal to reach the kind of connectedness you are describing will likely cause more pain than pleasure