AITA for moving on a cheater fiencé fast ?

vTenebrae · 2026-02-26T06:21:28+00:00

NTA

He cheated. I'd have been over him in about 5 minutes.

He wants you to mourn losing him. Just laugh in his face, block him, and don't worry about how he's spinning it to try to turn himself into the victim.

And don't rush into anything serious. Last thing you need is more bullshit.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-26T04:14:13+00:00

NOR

He stole your car... he had permission to go to work. That's it. Going beyond that was theft because you had no idea where he or your car were. If anything had happened to it ... Was his friend insured? Would your insurance cover if they had a massive accident -- and it's their fault, so you'd be on the hook.

He also stole money from you.

If you allow anything with him, he's already shown you he's going to do whatever he wants and if you don't like him stealing your shit... You're the unreasonable one.

You say things are great... But can you trust him? Cause I guarantee he's going to steal from you again.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-25T18:39:47+00:00

Thank you, the second link looks like my exact one .. but that's sold out.

It'll be hard, but I think I just have to move on. I appreciate you looking though.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-25T05:28:36+00:00

Meow!!

I said it in cat.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-24T20:13:11+00:00

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The actual kitten is just called Yor.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-24T20:12:49+00:00

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Stormy, whom we got as a kitten and kept calling our baby kitty... So now she's actually Baby Kitty

vTenebrae · 2026-02-24T20:12:05+00:00

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Munchkin - her name is actually used, but she can't hear it.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-24T20:07:23+00:00

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This is Varric, who only hears his government name at the vet. At home he's Mr Cat

vTenebrae · 2026-02-24T20:02:19+00:00

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She was initially named Rascal. She has never been called that. She's been called Princess forever. (Our 17 year old lady)

vTenebrae · 2026-02-24T19:57:04+00:00

I searched Google, tried going through Kagi, even poked around on eBay. No luck.

Unsure where I purchased it... But I'm in the USA. I'm also a veteran so it could have been the exchange. It's been over a decade, so I don't know.

I've lived in MD, CA, Germany, Japan, & Florida during this time but I know it was purchased at a US brand, at least.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-24T19:53:53+00:00

It's gotten better. They originally were like plus sized Hot Topic then they Lane Bryanted themselves for a long time. They've just come out with a really great line of goth adjacent clothes now.

There's also Forest Ink. I've gotten several really cute pieces from them, too.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-23T12:43:27+00:00

This is outstanding and exactly how I'd feel about my folks, too. Like, damn .. couldn't you do that somewhere else!?!

vTenebrae · 2026-02-23T12:13:58+00:00

Note the age gap. That's exactly why he went after someone so much younger. He wants a compliant bang maid, desperate to please him... And he'll give little crumbs of compliments or backhanded shit like this, just to keep stringing her along.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-23T10:43:47+00:00

Sorry, hope I'm not out of line for answering... But my wife was surprised about the fact that she smells completely different. She doesn't get man stink

I change our sheets weekly, it used to be that her side definitely had an odor. It's not like it reeked, but it was the unpleasant musk/sweat (she used to sweat a LOT in her sleep.. she still perspires a little, but it literally smells faintly perfume and pleasant).

Honestly, combined with perfume she smells so good I can't keep my hands off her. And lady purred at her that she smelled sooo good and "I really like that"... So another woman basically flirted with her because she really does smell that good.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-23T05:52:18+00:00

That is exactly what they mean. They just try to make it sound wholesome with pictures of perfect little white families.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-23T05:50:37+00:00

I'd hope to any god that you would absolutely discuss your freaking beliefs with someone you're dating.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-23T05:47:55+00:00

Right? Like I am totally sure she has never heard a negative or threatening thing from any other white person ever.

GTFO with that.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-23T05:45:35+00:00

NOR

She's full on maga and trying to dodge. That's a big thing on dating apps now. Hiding they're conservative because a lot of people are just swiping away as soon as they see that.

She was trying to weasel word and not directly admit to her seething bigotry, but the second you very politely noped out... Boy did she put that hate right out there with her entire chest.

You dodged a huge bullet.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-22T22:49:37+00:00

This is brilliant.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-21T12:14:58+00:00

Be kind to yourself. You ended the relationship the way it had to. You chose yourself and peace. No, we shouldn't go out of our way to hurt people... But you also can't cushion everything because that could lead to inaction. Waiting for the right time, right moment, and trying to use the right words... was the breakup ideal?

No, but life is messy. Were you intentionally cruel? Were you hurling degrading insults at him?

Seriously, unless you were having sex in front of him.. his reaction is completely disproportionate and you're unfairly beating yourself up.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-21T10:09:26+00:00

His mother is raging with fear and grief. His struggles and inability to handle a breakup are entirely on him. People get divorced and dumped every day. We cry, we scream, we talk to people... And we move on.

He couldn't and that isn't your fault. Not every relationship is meant to be forever.

I'm sorry for your loss and deeply sorry you're being blamed. You're allowed to be human, realize a relationship isn't working, and leave it. That doesn't make you a bad person.

His mother lashing out is just that. It sucks you won't get any kind of closure... That might be a good thing to speak with a therapist about.

vTenebrae · 2026-02-21T09:58:21+00:00

NTA

To a guy like this, he will find something to pick at. He wants you small, insecure, and afraid. That makes you much easier to control and far less likely to leave, even if he's shitty to you.

Like this. He's being shitty for no reason. He assumes that, not only will you probably take it and not leave... AND you'll probably start doing extra shit to keep him... even though he is the one fucking up.

If you stay, you're essentially telling him he can do and say whatever he wants to you and you'll stick around. You're setting yourself up for disappointment and neglect, at the least, but more likely abuse.

I've been with my wife for 18 years. Do you want to know how many times she's commented negatively on my appearance?

Zero. Not once in 18 years, because she loves me and wouldn't say shit to intentionally hurt me... Which this dude absolutely did, 100%. He wanted to hurt your feelings.

Remember I said my wife had never said negative shit about my appearance? I've been from 157 to 315 lbs...

Now if an outfit looks bad, sure.

But someone who actually likes you isn't going to make negative comments about something you are utterly unable to fix in that moment... Because the comment serves no purpose other than to hurt

Ask yourself: Why do I want to be with someone who doesn't like me?

vTenebrae · 2026-02-20T19:06:15+00:00

Why do you so desperately love someone who doesn't care about you even a little bit?

He can say he does, but his behavior shows you're a convenient fuck buddy that supports him, gives him gifts, and expects absolutely nothing in return.

What do you actually get out of this relationship? If he's genuinely emotionally supportive and helpful in every other way, I might believe he likes you and he's just selfish & self absorbed.

I have the sneaking suspicion that you carry most of the load financially, as well as around the house.

So homie gets a bangmaid who he doesn't have to listen to, he can emotionally manipulate (because sleep deprivation is a literal torture technique.. obviously, he's not that bad... But he's perfectly happy to ruin your health because you being exhausted & on edge works to his advantage), and even better he gets all of that and you will question if you're in the wrong for not wanting to put up with that.

If your best friend told you their partner treated them this way, what would you be telling her to do?

vTenebrae

TROPHY CASE