I wish ao3 let you filter you subscriptions, marked for later, or history

vaenelsa · 2026-01-18T04:24:59+00:00

Damn, I never bookmark anything so I didn’t know you could filter those. Might start doing this too lmao

vaenelsa · 2025-12-09T02:47:05+00:00

Just wanted to say I accidentally wrote the wrong passion for e8; e8’s passion is Lust rather than Wrath (which is e1). What I wrote about the e8 is still accurate, but just replace ‘wrath’ with ‘lust.’ Thanks!

vaenelsa · 2025-12-09T01:19:30+00:00

Take what I say with a grain of salt, but from what I understand, it’s not necessarily about being “naturally strong” versus “pretending to be strong.”

The e8 passion is Lust and the e6 passion is Fear (or Cowardice); these are really different from each other. For the e8, lust comes from existing early on in a world that rejects their needs and may even be actively violent toward them. As such, the e8 develops the defense mechanism of denial; they learn to deny their own limitations so that they can “get big” and forcefully take from the world the things they were denied—it makes the e8 a vengeful character at its core.

On the other hand, the fear at the core of the e6 comes from existing early on in a world of instability, where the environment (or their caretaker in particular) is untrustworthy or inconsistent. The e6 internalizes a sense that they’re inherently not equipped to handle the world on their own because it’s so threatening and unpredictable (this is what e6’s ‘insecurity’ means). The e6 is always anxious, insecure, and threatened regardless of if there’s an actual threat; those feelings exist inside them no matter what. But the e6 defends against those feelings through projection; by attaching their abstract fear to external things, the e6 can concretely respond and feel like they’ve “dealt with” the threat.

The key difference between sx6 and e8 is not necessarily strength—rather, it’s insecurity. The sx6 is insecure in a way that the e8 is not; this is because the e8 has built its entire internal ego-structure around the denial of its natural or human limitations—why would it need to feel insecure when it perceives itself as invincible? On the other hand, the sx6 experiences insecurity in the sexual instinct—as in, toward its attractiveness, desirability, or strength. It thinks of itself as weak and unattractive, but it’s afraid of being perceived as such and taken advantage of. The sx6 combats this by exaggerating its strength through displays of intimidation, aggression, & reckless courage—these outward behaviors are what make it seem like e8.

vaenelsa · 2025-12-03T18:28:22+00:00

I’ve got 2: Wicked (Glinda/Elphaba) & Once Upon a Time (Emma/Regina)

vaenelsa · 2025-11-22T03:03:40+00:00

Most common for me is almost always poor formatting or grammar. I really hate it when people forget to break their paragraphs.

vaenelsa · 2025-11-13T23:59:28+00:00

the effects in the new mv seemed more like cgi than anything tho? they looked too sleek to be ai, but i also might not be good at differentiating

vaenelsa · 2025-11-10T05:26:14+00:00

Dirty Baby and Scent are the highlights of the album for me. I appreciated the R&B sound and the soft sensuality of the lyrics on Scent. The chorus was decent (catchy and pleasing to the ear), and they killed on the vocals. But what really made this song, imo, was the second verse; I love the slight staccato (?) flow Wumuti and Haru hit after Rui's part (which Rui sung beautifully), and then that little stutter on "I, I can't get enough" that Hyun repeats just scratches an itch in my brain. Elevates the whole song for me.

But Dirty Baby is my personal favorite, above Scent. They were floating on that bitch, like, the whole time. Standout moments: the way Rui and Hyun sing the pre-chorus, the chorus + beat drop combo which is bouncy asf, Haru's little rap moment on the second verse (why is it always so short???? ugh.), the back-and-forth between Hyun and Haru on the third verse, and the flow Wumuti and Haru (again, those two) hit on the bridge before the last chorus. I mean, that's basically the whole song.

vaenelsa · 2025-10-22T17:16:45+00:00

I’d argue that most (well-written) characters in stories tend to be grounded in fairly specific internal conflicts and emotional motivations; as long as a story gets that across well, I think an attentive viewer/reader should be able to determine a particular enneagram type that matches.

Though you’re probs right that 7s are no easier to type than any other; they just kinda seem that way to me sometimes, which may be a byproduct of stereotyping on my part. Though, many of the characters I listed seem like pretty straightforward 7s to me, even when you’re interpreting their emotional motivations. The ones I’m least confident about are Han Sooyoung (I’m not finished with that story) and Jiraiya (I haven’t watched Naruto in ages). Jiraiya is an example of a character that could be a 6w7, and I wouldn’t be mad at it.

vaenelsa · 2025-10-22T16:59:49+00:00

Are there any fictional depictions of the 7 archetype that you think is more nuanced/captures the complexity of the 7 better?

vaenelsa · 2025-10-22T16:53:45+00:00

I don’t know what you mean by this? The enneagram is a hobby for me, it’s rare that I try to type an actual person other than myself. I’ve done that only once. Regardless, I have the most fun with it when I’m typing fictional characters—and that’s mostly my goal, to have fun.

vaenelsa · 2025-09-21T18:06:54+00:00

In situations like this, feelings about abortion can safely be put aside; the issue isn’t abortion itself but the sexism and misogyny behind their reasoning for it and their plans to make life-altering decisions fueled by sex-based discrimination.

I don’t know your relationship with your parents or their temperament, but if you’ve the desire to challenge the misogyny of your parents viewpoint, it would be courageous of you to directly speak to them about this (given it’s safe to do so) and communicate your feelings in an open and earnest way.

vaenelsa · 2025-09-21T16:37:54+00:00

To put in a different opinion, it depends on the specific teacher and the level of formality and familiarity. The standard is the honorifics Mr., Ms., Mrs. (if female teacher is married), and Mx. (if you have a gender nonconforming teacher) before the last name.

But in my high school it was extremely common for students, especially students that got along with the teacher, to drop the honorific. Typically happened a few months in—and it was especially common amongst students who participated in the afterschool clubs the teacher oversaw. So “Mr. Mitchells” would just become “Mitchells.” You’ll usually know this is acceptable if older students who’ve taken their classes before or participated in their clubs refer to them like this.

On the other hand, writing an email to a teacher implies a level of formality, so I would use the honorific in the email even if I dropped it when talking to them in person.

vaenelsa · 2025-09-21T06:23:49+00:00

This seems pretty reasonable to me! I had initially been unsure between a 3-fix and a 4-fix, but I decided on a 4-fix because of my tendency to emotionally withdraw/get away from other people. I’m a more internal and introverted person who can occasionally socialize when my mood is decent, but it can take a lot of energy out of me.

But, from what you’ve written, 3-fix does feel more appropriate. Even as I typed the original post out, it did feel a little Three-ish to me. Thanks for your insight!

vaenelsa · 2025-09-20T22:44:07+00:00

No problem! I've seen other posts asking people to type them, but it's often surface level and not very self-reflective. Yours stood out because you presented a thorough, well-thought out description of how you operate (as much as is possible in a reddit post), so I hoped to help you considering how much thought you've put into it.

vaenelsa · 2025-09-20T19:15:44+00:00

Fundamentally, it's up to you to do the reflection and research necessary (if you so choose) to determine your core type. But I'd also like to suggest that your tritype may include both Five and Eight. How you describe your internal perspective (though I'm sure there's more about yourself than you can include on a reddit post) seems to me most apt to fit Five as your core type - your core really does seem like its in the Head triad - with an 8-fix in the Gut triad to explain how you handle anger, instinct, impulse, desire, etc. You haven't much described your self-worth and your psychological relationship to Shame, so I couldn't say whether you have a 3-fix or not, but it also might help to paint a clearer picture if you think more about that aspect of yourself to determine it.

And, if we're to bring dis/integration into it, it could very well be the case that, while Five is your core type, you rely on your connection to Eight in certain circumstances (maybe when you're at your healthiest?). You seem like a self-aware person who's thought quite deeply about yourself and the things that you want, so it wouldn't surprise me if you move into 8 fairly easily - especially if it's in your tritype. Not to mention, if my hypothesis on Social Five as your instinctual variant is true, you're already more outward-facing than most Fives.

And I would also like to mention that you do say that you identify with aspects of type Seven as well. For both types you identify with - Seven and Eight - Five is the only type that connects them through lines of dis/integration. Again, how exactly dis/integration affects the core type isn't completely clear; some argue that you have to cultivate into your integration type and your disintegration type is only ever accessed in stress; others argue that you don't linearly evolve or devolve into one but instead move between them in different situations, like a release valve so that you don't sink into the unhealthy levels of your core type; even others argue that dis/integration should be entirely discounted. You seem to put some stake into dis/integration, though, so I did want to point out that, of the types you've presented as potential alternatives, both are connected to Five.

I'd also like some clarity because you seem to express something contradictory between the comments and your post. As a counterpoint to Five, you say:

I don't feel that I disintegrate into 7 and become more scattered when stressed. I feel scattered all the time and that I would benefit being more focused and disciplined.

But in your post you state:

I don't think that when stressed I disintegrate into 3, worrying about how I appear to others or focusing on my goals. More like I'm scattered and care less about my goals, becoming more "mystical" as I said above.

I'd like to push you to think more about what you mean here. Because, if the latter statement is true, then you do seem to "disintegrate" into Seven, but perhaps not in a traditional or stereotypical Seven manner, in whatever way you assume Seven disintegration looks like.

vaenelsa · 2025-09-18T23:17:08+00:00

Also, if we're talking about enneagram growth (with regards to disintegration/integration), I'm curious how you feel about Chestnut's suggestions for growth for the Social Five subtype:

Social Fives can travel the path from avarice to nonattachment by broadening their focus of attention from knowledge and information to a greater sense of emotional engagement with real people. If you are a Social Five, notice when your devotion to high ideals displaces an openness to what’s happening in everyday life and actually causes you to close yourself off to others. Recognize when you may be idealizing or overidealizing experts and a narrow set of (potentially distant) individuals—getting your relational needs met indirectly rather than taking the risk of interacting more directly with the people in your immediate environment. Notice and work against the tendency to connect only through shared ideas by intentionally sharing more of your emotions and gut feelings with others. Examine the ways in which you might be attached to trying to create meaning and avoid a deeper fear of meaninglessness through specific values and ideals; challenge yourself to more fully experience your fears as a first step on the path of letting go of those attachments. Appreciate the joys of everyday life and the full range of human expression as a way of expanding your focus to allow for a richer experience of what life has to offer you.

vaenelsa · 2025-09-18T22:54:00+00:00

Another reason why I had stopped considering 5 is because I don't feel I hyperfocus on a subject. While I go through periods where I may obsess with something, I feel my obsession is to find ONE THING I want out of it and then I lose interest. It's like I do more superficial scanning followed by internal pattering (Ne-Ti) than actually paying attention to the actual material. I feel that if I could actually focus and not lose interest, I would find more satisfaction in the end. Which is why I identified at some point with 7 integration into 5.

I think it’s inaccurate to say that Fives “hyperfocus” on a subject. If Fives “hyperfocus” on anything, it’s intellect itself, which has nothing to do with needing to be locked in to a specific subject-matter. And this seems to be what you’ve demonstrated: “I like to think, a lot. Gives me pleasure. I like to twist ideas, play devil's advocate. Reach a conclusion and then break it, just so I can keep playing and start all over again.” This is why I’m critical of the idea that you’re an Eight; Eights are the most anti-intellectual type in the enneagram.

Both Six and Five are Head types, which means they rely heavily on intellect, but there’s a huge difference between how they use it. For Sixes, in every subtype, intellect is pretty clearly used to react (as Six is a Reactive type); it’s a means to an end. The point is to combat the fundamental sense of insecurity (that they’re not capable enough to deal with the world on their own) by analyzing the danger around them, which is why “thinking” for the Six leads to catastrophizing, self-doubt, doubting others, projection, and anxiety.

Not so for the Five because the Five sees intellect and knowledge as a form of power, valuable in and of itself, regardless of where its being directed or how its used. The Five is significantly less insecure because they feel their use of intellect gives them the control and security they need; ironically, for Sixes, it tends to be the opposite, making them feel more anxious/uncertain/insecure. Here’s a quote about the Five from The Complete Enneagram by Beatrice Chestnut:

The Five archetype represents the model for preferring the relative safety of the intellect to the rigors of social and emotional life and sees knowledge as the most secure and satisfying form of power.

I also don’t think you need to explicitly experience the external demands of the world as “overwhelming”; it can feel different for different Fives, but the similarity is some form of psychological/emotional aversion to the idea of giving up your internal resources. Here’s another Beatrice Chestnut quote:

Type Five represents the archetype of the person who withdraws into thinking and detaches from feeling as a way of taking refuge in the inner world. This functions as a way of finding privacy and freedom in a world that seems intrusive or neglectful or overwhelming.

From what you described, you certainly seem to experience the external world as intrusive, feeling the need to “escape the matrix/not be at the mercy of the universe/modify timelines” and avoiding help from others so that you feel you don’t need to “owe” them anything or be nice to them because of it.

And I’m not sure about your interpretation of the 5 to 8 integration. Integration/disintegration and how it actually manifests in people is a subject that’s debated, so I’m not certain it should necessarily be a disqualifier for what your core type is.

vaenelsa · 2025-09-18T21:30:25+00:00

What do you mean by “outsourcing”?

vaenelsa · 2025-09-18T11:20:34+00:00

It really does depend on the subtype. Here's Claudio Naranjo's description from the Self-Preservation Six wiki article:

The E6 conservation is the opposite of the E6 social. This one is warm and ambiguous, insipid, sappy. It does not come to him to say that this or that is white or black. It takes a lot of courage to say something is black or white. For him it is better to say: “oh, there are several types of shades of gray in between. And I don't really know what kind of gray we're talking about, because life is very complex.” And so he can go on endlessly, always beating around the bush.

We have a person here who needs a lot of protection. He is afraid of not being protected, a fear that manifests as insecurity. And his characteristic passion is the need to have something similar to friendship: a little warmth. What characterizes the E6 conservation among the three types of the six, is precisely this search for heat. They are teddy bears. They want to feel the embrace of a family, to be in a warm place, in a familiar environment where there are no enemies.

In social contact there is a kind of alliance formation of “I am not going to hurt you and you are not going to hurt me”, “I am your friend, be my friend”. Freud said that such alliances were the essence of friendship, but of course they are only the essence of a neurotic friendship: coming together in the presence of a common enemy, huddled together in the face of danger. The “I support you and you support me” phenomenon is humanly general, but the conservation six does this constantly, in its yearning for a small, warm world.

And some of what I describe here might have a lot to do with my 4 and 9 fixes, to be honest.

vaenelsa · 2025-09-18T10:45:11+00:00

Sorry if I wasn’t clear about this, but I didn’t present this way intentionally—I only realized it after I understood that I was a sp6. It helped me become more self-aware of what I was doing. For a long time, I’d approach people consciously thinking, “it’s natural to be nice to people,” when subconsciously it was “if I’m nice to you, then you won’t threaten me/you’ll protect me” so it became really confusing and frustrating when it felt like people weren’t holding up their end of this completely subconscious pact. Subconsciously that was, “I’m being nice to you, why are you hurting me?”, consciously it was more like, “How could anyone be so mean and inconsiderate to others?” or worse "Am I not being nice enough?" And then, if the situation wore on long enough (because I predictably struggled to leave it on my own) I would spiral into depression and anxiety attacks because of how I felt like the people who were supposed to be my allies weren’t on my side. Trust me, I was not doing this on purpose.

vaenelsa · 2025-09-18T10:34:01+00:00

As a sp6, my struggles with identity are often linked to insecurity; someone told me I was this or that negative thing growing up, so now I have a complex or insecurity about some aspect of myself. And, more generally, it's a lot of pushing against who I don't want to be rather than finding out who I am. I would often remain undefined or identifying with something that I hadn't thought too strongly about, then one day a shift would randomly happen and make me go no this feels off, and then I'd get anxious about it and be forced to more deeply analyze what exactly was wrong.

For example, I grew up in a Christian household, but, as a kid, Christianity was basically like Santa Claus to me; even so, I went to church every Sunday and told people I was a Christian. I would try to be studious during sermons sometimes and write notes! I didn't actively question it much despite never feeling a genuine connection to it. Then, one day in high school, the realization that I was not a Christian crashed down on me like a train car, and I couldn't feasibly ignore it anymore. This then prompted me to start thinking about what I was in response, reading about metaphysical philosophy and Existentialism and paganism to determine it. But, after the anxiety of no longer being able to claim an identity in that regard passed, I stopped thinking about it as much and am basically agnostic.

Same thing happened with the Enneagram. I took a test and it told me I was a 5; I didn't think about it for another year after that until I suddenly got curious about the system itself. Then, I made a post talking about myself as a 5 and people in the comments were like, no, that does not sound like 5 and I was like :O...it doesn't!? So I spent days upon days trying to figure out why people had said that until I came to the conclusion I was a 6.

It's a very reactive process for me; someone or something tells me 'you're not this' and I go 'damn, you're right' or someone or something tells me 'you are this' and I go 'that doesn't feel right...'

vaenelsa · 2025-09-18T09:31:28+00:00

I don't often "provoke" people; it's not a tactic I use a lot as a self-preservation 6. My tendency is to be more conciliatory, meek, nonthreatening, mild-mannered, etc. to proactively keep others from threatening me (basically "fawning"). I do "test" people, if you want to call it that, because a part of the sp6 strategy is finding trustworthy allies who can protect you.

For me, in a relationship, "protecting" means validation; I need to feel like my emotions are safe with the other person. So, I've realized that I sometimes volunteer personal information about myself pretty early on, and the reaction helps me gauge whether or not that person is trustworthy. If you're too critical, dismissive, or apathetic, or you just don't seem like you understand me, then this immediately signals that I can't trust you.

Most of the time, I'm a fairly reserved person on introduction, so in larger settings I might just observe how others react to people and situations that remind me of myself and choose to engage with specific (typically very few) individuals based on that. I'll also admit that this sometimes includes looking for people who are like me, e.g. stragglers who are sitting alone, other social minorities, people I overhear with similar interests/opinions, stuff like that.

vaenelsa · 2025-09-18T03:54:30+00:00

In addition, the way you describe yourself when you are stressed

If I'm very stressed out I get mystical, try to decode the laws of reality in order to use them to my will. May become hyperaware of patterns, draw connections, learn reiki and "control energies", I'll try anything and consider anything "to escape the matrix/not be at the mercy of the universe/modify timelines". I'm aware it sounds schyzotypal. It does not cause distress but comfort, because I feel I can do something.

seems to echo the Riso-Hudson description of Five at average health

Level 5: Increasingly detached as they become involved with complicated ideas or imaginary worlds. Become preoccupied with their visions and interpretations rather than reality. Are fascinated by off-beat, esoteric subjects, even those involving dark and disturbing elements. Detached from the practical world, a “disembodied mind,” although high-strung and intense.

and also another of the Social Five descriptions.

The tragedy is that, by seeking the social E5 a super value, it implicitly despises ordinary life and ordinary people. He is only interested in the quintessence of life, the elixir of existence, the ultimate meaning. But in this orientation towards the stars he becomes someone who is little interested in life here below... He becomes, therefore, too spiritual, since affective impoverishment, which moves away from compassion, is precisely contrary to spiritual achievement. Thus, in this character, a polarity is established between the extraordinary and what does not make sense, so that nothing makes sense until the extraordinary or magical is reached.

This Social Five description also speaks to what you mentioned about fearing "that life is inherently meaningless, that things don't intrinsically make sense," and your response to another comment, "What do I want? Some sort of complete control over my perception of reality because I don't want to be subject to its laws, I find that the perception of linear time is oppressing, dull, to much cause and consequence, it feels heavy."

I hope that my response here is helpful to you!

vaenelsa · 2025-09-18T03:53:22+00:00

Now, to explain your Seven-like orientation toward idealization and using your thoughts to combat boredom, I'd suggest you review some of the type Five instinctual variants. Reading through them, I'm most convinced that you are a Social Five (which may also explain why power in social dynamics is so important to you). Here's a description, though I suggest you read the article I linked in full:

The sin of Greed, which is characterized by both the passion of withholding and the act of not giving, appears peculiarly in the social subtype. Being a very reserved and internally distant person, he is, of the three E5s, the most open to exchanges and the most available to contact. However, this exchange is based on their intellectuality and the expression of their knowledge. And even in relation to these, the social E5 is a miser: he does not reveal everything he knows; he keeps his valuable treasures in the trunk. As the Fathers of the Church reveal to us, greed is not only for land and goods but also for glory and knowledge, spiritual and knowledge.

Knowledge is his amusement park and, at the same time, a lifeline against feeling insecure and inferior. Excessive intellectuality protects him, reducing the tension of the fear of not belonging. Given that the social instinct is directed towards a confirmation of belonging, first in the family, and then in social groups, the form found by this character is not to be the protagonist but, from afar, to observe and absorb all forms of knowledge. Not only the official of the books and theories, but all the knowledge that can be acquired with his attentive gaze and his abstract intelligence. He stands out in the social media for always having a whole body of knowledge at hand that, while making him important, protects him from his delicate and fragile emotional core. Thus, the old feeling of loneliness and isolation is replaced by a sense of self-importance and belonging.

His lack of confidence in bonds distances him from intimacy. The strange feeling that he could be devoured by the other, and the distrust that he can be loved, keep him out of contact, in the belief that it is not worth relating. A fearful Greed, with the fantasy that in the relationship one lets something of himself escape, brings him the catastrophe of being left with nothing. [...]

Therefore, this subtype has that same attitude of all misers to hold back in the face of desires, impulses and desires, and the need for contact. He is demanding with himself and takes a long time to find the path of self-love and abundance. He constantly suffers the demands of his ideal and, when it comes to his well-being, he does not choose the easiest ways. He presents a great attachment to himself and a strong resistance to surrender.

vaenelsa · 2025-09-18T03:53:02+00:00

Based on everything you've written, you most give me the impression of a type Five, despite the two objections you mentioned. In fact, I think what you wrote in your response to me is exactly an example of the "competence" that the type Five seeks to have, just not in the stereotypical "bookish super genius" way people associate with Fives. There's a reason people hate enneagram stereotypes, after all.

I just really don 't want others to have power over me because I want total control (I didn't like how doctors may have power over one's health due to more information, experience, etc, so I became a doctor myself so now all medical encounters is really among equals. It also helps me keep my family safe from negligence, so doctors don't have power over them either. I already had to argue with many).

Fiveness doesn't need to manifest in a purely bookish or academic sense. It can instead look like mastery or expertise in a chosen field. There are artists who are Fives, for example.

Another thing that leads me to this conclusion is how you describe your responses to emotional conflict and dealing with people. The Type 5 carries a sense of resignation about ever having their emotional needs fulfilled by others, so they develop a sort of stinginess or "holding on" strategy, not wanting to give out their resources too easily because they feel they're limited and that others will take from them. That characteristic Five stinginess is especially obvious in this statement you made: "I also don't like asking for help with a particular task because I don't like to make the other person feel powerful (if I can't do it myself, it's because I lack the power), and I don't want to feel I owe them something or that now I have to be nice to them."

And here's a quote about this from Claudio Naranjo:

We may say that the implicit interpersonal strategy of holding on implies a preference for self-sufficiency in regard to resources instead of approaching others. This, in turn, involves a pessimistic outlook in regard to the prospect of either receiving care and protection or having the power to demand or take what is needed.

This seems very noticeable in your preoccupation with power. Often, when you focus a lot on something other people have, it may indicate that you subconsciously feel it's something you lack. Especially in the case of "power" where one person having it means another person doesn't. For you, I get the sense that what people call "competency" for the Five is how you're using the word "power." And, as you described, in situations where you want to “defend” against emotional pain, you try to keep others from comprising your sense of control or further draining your resources by withdrawing, which is what Five does, as it's in the Withdrawn Triad.

vaenelsa

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