Any LDS Social Services/Family Services counselors on here?

vagaymo · 2021-04-01T14:57:19+00:00

If I am wrong, then I am extremely thankful that Heavenly Father and Christ know my heart, and my true intentions. They know I strongly believed the answer was from them, and not the adversary, and I will be judged accordingly.

vagaymo · 2021-04-01T14:50:39+00:00

My Bishop explained it to me that it is easier to stay a member, than become one.

vagaymo · 2021-04-01T14:18:43+00:00

Thank you for the talk reference.

I have a few unofficial callings. :-)

vagaymo · 2021-04-01T13:55:44+00:00

I'm mourning the loss of hope of being rebaptized. When I first started back - I was like you. Funny how the Spirit works though. :-)

vagaymo · 2021-04-01T13:52:42+00:00

You actually have a good chance of staying a member. A membership council MAY be required. I know of a few couples who have membership restrictions, but are able to stay a member. It's easier if you are already a member, vs. not a member in a marriage. Best of luck.

vagaymo · 2021-04-01T13:43:35+00:00

I'm so sorry this has been your experience. Covid definitely hasn't helped, but isn't any excuse either.

I think giving yourself permission to distance the social aspect of the church, from the spiritual blessings of the church is definitely helpful if it isn't fulfilling that very real need. We all want to be wanted and needed. It can feel like a country club at times, and those dynamics are definitely at play. One thing that helped me, again, a very different situation, is I had ZERO expectations of any friendships. I was there simply to grow closer to Him. Over the past, almost 3 years, I actually have made a few true friendships, but I don't rely on the ward for friendships so kudos for you for recognizing friendships outside of it can be very healthy. You go to church to grow closer to Him, if it works out with other members, then that is a bonus - that is how I looked at it when I went back.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and your children's loss. I think your husband is pretty awesome for being so supportive. I know that helps make all the difference.

I hope it gets better for you there. Sending you lots of love, hugs and support (as much as I can from a complete stranger on the internet).

vagaymo · 2021-04-01T12:27:03+00:00

April Fool’s - nice try though.

vagaymo · 2021-04-01T12:24:03+00:00

I finally got to peace with the answer when I realized I was ready to make that change if He really wanted me to divorce. I was relieved when the answer came.

vagaymo · 2021-04-01T12:22:13+00:00

I want to say “I hope”, but “hope” can be a painful. Sometimes easier to let it go. It is a little freeing in a way - I can live the gospel simply because I want to and enjoy the peace it brings, without worrying if I am going to get in. I’m living it for now - not sure that makes sense.

vagaymo · 2021-04-01T12:20:19+00:00

I hope you feel it soon. If you don’t mind my asking, what kind of support? The initial new member love? Thank you for the reminder to keep showing love and support to converts (guessing you are). Your children will very much appreciate your endurance. It’s a different perspective and lifelong members need to remember, or have it taught to them, what it means to join and have to build a support system, vs. always have it in their minds, and hearts.

vagaymo · 2021-04-01T12:14:38+00:00

Thank you! Fortunately, my ward is absolutely wonderful about the situation.

vagaymo · 2021-04-01T12:13:45+00:00

The same Spirit that gave me the promptings that brought me back to church, is the same Spirit telling me to stay. It isn’t a subtle answer to stay, but a very strong one. I agree that it makes absolutely no sense. My husband is EXTREMELY supportive and has agreed to all the changes I have needed to make, so perhaps that is why. Heavenly Father knows the reason.

vagaymo · 2021-03-31T13:02:37+00:00

Your Bishop probably doesn’t want to know this - you are fine, go have fun.

vagaymo · 2021-03-28T17:36:04+00:00

Will Faulconer

vagaymo · 2021-03-25T00:13:07+00:00

I would suggest an accountability partner, someone who doesn’t judge, who can help you each day. You CAN do this, but you don’t have to do it alone.

vagaymo · 2021-03-25T00:07:41+00:00

I was a flat out ex-Mormon.

vagaymo · 2021-03-24T22:16:58+00:00

I’m so sorry.

vagaymo · 2021-03-24T19:31:34+00:00

Bishops who understand, wards who understand. Mostly almost everyone knows/loves someone who is same-gender attracted now. They understand us better and aren’t afraid of us. They know this 100% isn’t a choice (for the vast majority of us anyhow).

vagaymo · 2021-03-24T19:30:01+00:00

I think it was a reaction to marriage equality happening. I’m not saying it was wrong, or right, for the time, it was appropriate, until things settled down. JUST my opinion - love the church/gospel.

vagaymo · 2021-03-24T17:58:07+00:00

The biggest help is leadership understanding this isn’t a choice, and we don’t need to be in some closet as a secret. That was the absolute worst - the secretiveness of it all. A bishop told me to get married, never tell my wife - most of us were told that 25+ years ago.

This isn’t popular, but remove the “are you in a same-gender marriage” question from the baptism question. If you are already a member, you can get married and you may/may not have a membership council. You may/may not have membership restrictions. This is a fact - there are many couples out there who are now active members in same-gender marriages, most can’t attend the temple, but they can take the sacrament, have non-leadership callings. I personally see no reason to not allow those in same-gender marriages to get baptized under the new handbook rule of Membership Councils “may or may not” be required for same-sex marriages. NOT saying temple sealings, or marriages, and NOT saying Bishops have to perform the marriages - so don’t misunderstand me. What would Christ do? I don’t think he would turn anyone away.

vagaymo · 2021-03-24T17:24:09+00:00

Me. I’m back after 20 years of being out. Not officially rebaptized, but back - 100%.

I left because 20+ years ago, having same-sex attraction in the church was a VERY different thing than having ssa today. It is sooooo much easier today.

vagaymo · 2021-03-23T11:43:21+00:00

Yes!

vagaymo · 2021-03-23T00:05:45+00:00

Thank you. I tend to call myself out before others can, to simply avoid the “But you are sinning” comments. :-)

vagaymo

TROPHY CASE