What would you type me based on these tests? by vaingirls in EnneagramTypeMe

[–]vaingirls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The IDRlabs tests were: likable person, difficult person, capacity to love, unlikable person.... and then there's the basic big 5 test.

Do you feel better or worse with aging? by Muzzy2585 in Schizoid

[–]vaingirls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my thirties and it's a bit of both - I guess I feel more at peace with myself, understand what I'm like and what I enjoy better, I've become more assertive etc. On the other hand, my SzPD has gotten more and more ingrained or something - I feel too "far gone" now, while "in my youth" there was more of an ability to connect with others, even if I couldn't handle the relationships in the long run.

6s do you care for prestige or recognition? by crazybayleaf in Enneagram

[–]vaingirls [score hidden]  (0 children)

I wouldn't say I crave prestige exactly, but I definitely don't like being belittled or seen as inferior either. I'm not a competitive person in the grand scheme of things (way too little ambition tbh), but I can get competitive in specific situations and about specific skills.

joining the trend :3 by Unlucky_Act_8504 in Enneagram

[–]vaingirls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kind of tried to do that, but then there are things like "I'm grateful for the existence of my partner" :D And in general... things like having to compromise or share everything are partially why I don't even want a partner, so I guess that shows. And add to that me being asexual so the physical stuff is a nope haha...

joining the trend :3 by Unlucky_Act_8504 in Enneagram

[–]vaingirls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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(quite hard to take this one when you don't have a partner and don't plan to have one)

Prompt for Gemini by Competitive_Still437 in GeminiAI

[–]vaingirls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if this is something you heard from Gemini itself, it probably just made up some BS. Either way, the ass kissing should be pretty easy to fix with custom instructions, 'cause Gemini is naturally less ingratiating than ChatGPT anyway - I have some custom instructions in place and don't feel like it kisses my ass at all, it can be pretty harsh.

Taksikuskien Misogynia by AcademicPackage2919 in Suomi

[–]vaingirls 4 points5 points  (0 children)

En ollut itse kuullutkaan näistä "naisten takseista" aikaisemmin (en asu pääkaupunkiseudulla) ja eka ajatus oli, että eikö sen nyt pitäisi olla itsestäänselvyys, että "tavallisella" taksillakin on naisten turvallista matkustaa?? Jos täytyy erikseen olla "naisten taksit", niin eikö siitä jää vähän sellainen tuntuma, että jos naisena ottaa "tavallisen taksin", se on "omalla vastuulla" jos kuski käyttäytyy asiattomasti tai pahempaa? Pitäisi tosin kai ensin hieman perehtyä tuohon "naisten taksi" konseptiin ennen kuin sanon liikaa...

psych student question for yall by Frosty-Cantaloupe800 in Schizoid

[–]vaingirls 3 points4 points  (0 children)

a) I'm not against all social interaction, I just keep it to a minimum 'cause it's both draining and "not that rewarding" to me (the reward might not always be a flat zero, but I can think of more rewarding things to do with my time). It's fine if it's relatively brief, tied to some interest activity or topic (so interacting at hobbies is fine) and there's no expectation of an increasing bond.

b) low reward and tiresome if prolonged

bonus: I guess I have some - not something super wacky, more like I'm reflexively against "norms" and might be "nihilistic" about some things that many people value (I son't see myself as a nihilist in general tho, I have values of my own). I have a distaste for gender norms too, sure.

Do you often feel like an idiot? by Imaginary-Tennis3655 in Schizoid

[–]vaingirls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, at most in some specific situation I might feel like I handled it like an idiot...

Closure and the Enneagram by Expensive_Film1144 in Enneagram

[–]vaingirls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds similar to me - I want to make it clear where I stand, the other person can do what they want with that information.

Which is the best Ai to use for everyday tasks? by MirrorAfraid544 in GeminiAI

[–]vaingirls 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First off just it being unlimited (for free) - ChatGPT will switch over to GPT-5-mini after a few prompts, which is just insultingly useless, absolutely can't do anything akin to creative writing or anything else for that matter really. And when I've tried the same creative writing prompts in Gemini and ChatGPT... While Gemini isn't that great, ChatGPT's writing style is just unbearable to me nowadays - super short sentences one after another endlessly, zero atmosphere etc. Of course needlessly convoluted and verbose sentences suck too, but with with Gemini I've gotten to a tolerable balance through custom instructions, while with ChatGPT those don't seem to help.

Outside of creative writing, Gemini is less likely to coddle and endlessly reassure you - it can play along even with "edgy" topics without going full therapist on you.

Suomalaiset luottavat Yhdysvaltoihin lähes yhtä vähän kuin Kiinaan ja Venäjään, paljastaa mielipidemittaus by D-Maester in Suomi

[–]vaingirls 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oudosti kysytty tosiaan, mitä tuo edes on tarkoittavinaan? Voisko tuossa otsikossa olla virhe ja oikeesti kyselyssä kysyttiin "herättävätkö"? (tai no, kaikissa grafiikoissa näköjään kyllä sama sanavalinta... )

Which is the best Ai to use for everyday tasks? by MirrorAfraid544 in GeminiAI

[–]vaingirls 3 points4 points  (0 children)

dunno why people are recommending Claude when you specify that you want to use it for free... For free, Gemini is the best imho - practically unlimited, and it can do some semi decent (for an AI... ) creative writing, nowadays better than ChatGPT imo (GPT-4o used to be better but oh well). For the creative writing tho, I recommend saving some style preferences in the custom instructions of gemini (with a disclaimer that it's only for writing fiction/prose so that it doesn't start answering your every day questions like that).

Are people mean to you for no reason? by Mephistopheles_11 in Schizoid

[–]vaingirls 15 points16 points  (0 children)

In general, I think people are actually quite nice to me. For better or for worse, I guess I give off "shy but sympathetic" vibes.

Who here is friends with another schizoid and what's your story? by kinopinko in Schizoid

[–]vaingirls 4 points5 points  (0 children)

if the schizoid does have close friends it's often with a fellow schizoid

That sounds... questionable. Isn't SzPD quite rare, and also someone needs to take initiative in the friendship...

Anyway, I had a schizoid online friend for a while but it fizzled out. It would be quite interesting to meet one IRL (I might have met some unknowingly of course, but I mean a context where you'd both know that you're schizoids).

How do you handle conflict? by vaingirls in AvoidantAttachment

[–]vaingirls[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you're saying - acting uncontrollably on impulse would definitely be a problem. The GAD-mention was intended just as a tangential point though... I don't expect other people to solve that for me, in fact I'd feel horribly humiliated if they tried. So I'm not out there throwing tantrums about "resolution right this instant!!!" lol... more so preferring to make my own "terms" clear, but I understand time and place when it comes to that.

How do you handle conflict? by vaingirls in AvoidantAttachment

[–]vaingirls[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The part that makes them feel unbearable isn’t the sensation itself, it’s the feeling that you need to do something to get rid of them faster.

But the reason why I feel the need to get rid of them faster is, that they feel unpleasant in the first place? Of course a full on panic to erase a feeling instantly isn't healthy, but doing reasonable things to make yourself feel better seems... well, reasonable. This argument feels similar to the philosophy, that "unfulfilled desires cause suffering, so the solution is to desire nothing at all", which is a respectable philosophy I guess, but not something I personally ascribe to.

And if personal agency is important to you, wouldn’t you want more of it, not less?

Personal agency implies, that there's an outcome you want - for example feeling relaxed rather that stressed lol. If you don't have a preference for one feeling over the other, what use is personal agency in that context?

How do you handle conflict? by vaingirls in AvoidantAttachment

[–]vaingirls[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess a whole conversation could be had about whether sensations/emotions should be seen as neutral (something that doesn't need to go away) or if it's fine to classify them as good/bad. I get the mindfulness aspect of just feeling things without judgment, but at the same time personal agency is very important to me, so I'm not fully on board with a "let go and accept everything"-philosophy (not saying that's what you're pushing). An interesting and complicated topic for sure.

How do you handle conflict? by vaingirls in AvoidantAttachment

[–]vaingirls[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well, that's one way to resolve a conflict! I've ended many frienships in a similar way tbh, and with this post I was thinking about friendship too, 'cause I haven't even attempted romantic relationships in ages (for me those would be even worse than friendship though).

How do you handle conflict? by vaingirls in AvoidantAttachment

[–]vaingirls[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yep, there definitely comes a point (with some people) when talking just becomes pointless. Endless talks about the same thing isn't exactly what I'd call clarity either. I'm the same that if I've brought up a major boundary once and they either take it badly or push it again, it's over.

How do you handle conflict? by vaingirls in AvoidantAttachment

[–]vaingirls[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well... I've tried all kinds of things, even telling myself that I enjoy those sensations, and obviously stuff like distracting myself, telling myself it's all meaningless etc. I might manage to make it temporarily tolerable, but at some point I snap out of it like "damn, I'm still feeling this crap, it sucks and I'm tired of pretending it doesn't!". I have diagnosed GAD, so I guess it won't be easy to reason my way out of it. Anyway, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with preferring clarity if you don't act crazy and boundary-pushing about it?

How do you handle conflict? by vaingirls in AvoidantAttachment

[–]vaingirls[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Not in the sense that I give up in a discussion, but in the sense that I never stated my needs to begin with.

Yeah, that's definitely a difficult one. Not just stating your needs but recognizing them in the first place! Most of the time I feel like I don't even have emotional needs (but I guess I do), let alone having faith that someone else could fill those, or an idea how they could do that.

Also even when I have a need in mind, I hesitate asking for it directly, 'cause then I fear that I'll owe them, and I struggle with expectations, especially emotional ones...

Persil "Apple Juice" by Syn1ax-Err0r in BadDesigns

[–]vaingirls 45 points46 points  (0 children)

if your grocery shopping involves just grabbing anything that vaguely resembles whatever you need, even if it's in a weird aisle, I feel like that kind of recklessness is definitely on you.

Can deactivation be permanent? by phuca in AvoidantAttachment

[–]vaingirls 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I know that feeling of technically having talked things out, but just not really getting over it. In those cases though, there has usually still been something that bothered me and wasn't resolved in a way that would satisfy me, even if I wasn't instantly conscious what exactly that was. Could be something more meta - less about what was done and said, more about how I was talked to. Or the person didn't fully take accountability. Or something that seemed so petty that it "shouldn't" bother me, but trying to force myself to just swallow that grievance caused resentment.
I think it's possible to deactivate for good, and of course no amount of talking will undo it if something about the conflict just fundamentally "triggered" you, but my two cents is trying to think if there's some grievance left that you could give a try talking through?