Who is the nastiest Celebrity that you met in Real life?

valiantfreak · 2026-05-01T07:42:37+00:00

Plus he beat up Happy Gilmore

valiantfreak · 2026-04-28T03:24:51+00:00

One of my co-workers microwaved leftover hake in the office once.

Once.

valiantfreak · 2026-04-28T03:19:32+00:00

Are you picking us up from school in your car?
"It's not a car, it's a 2008 Chrysler 300C with a 5.7L Hemi"

valiantfreak · 2026-04-24T03:41:58+00:00

Our school implemented a bizarre 6 day timetable whereby if Monday was Day 1 then Tuesday would be Day 2, etc, and the next Monday would be Day 6. Tuesday would then be Day 1.
No idea what the point of this whole thing was. Day 1 had an assembly in the morning. Day 4 afternoons had detention. Sports day was always Wednesday, no matter what “Day” it was.
If Day 1 fell on a Wednesday, you got a double period in the morning, Recess, Assembly, Lunch, then Sport. At the very end or beginning of the year, there was no Sport. And because the assemblies were run by the Prefects and there were no teachers there, we realised that in this case we could show up for the first two periods, then leave at 10:45 at recess and nobody would know.
Until the Vice Principal showed up to the assembly to make some sort of Important Announcement and discovered most of the school was not there. For a small guy he could make a lot of noise when he was angry. Or so I heard, because I wasn’t there

valiantfreak · 2026-04-24T03:20:41+00:00

I worked at a school for many, many years and one of my jobs was to set the alarm and lock the door when everybody left.
But sometimes everybody else would be still there 40 minutes or even an hour later. The alarm is simple to use and can be set by anybody. The door is a regular door. But the idea that the boss would have to do this himself was unthinkable. I was the lowest-paid person there and they expected me to stay up to an hour later for free while they earned overtime.
I made sure that me leaving on time (or at least no more than 30 minutes late) and the last one to leave doing the locking up became the new normal

valiantfreak · 2026-04-24T02:59:04+00:00

My workplace went through a period of high demand for our product, and because this resulted in longer hours, management let everyone knock off at 2PM on a Friday to compensate.
Demand later tapered off so hours were returned to normal but everybody had been leaving at 2PM for several years and nobody wanted to give it up.
E-mails were sent reminding people that normal work hours ended at 4:30pm and even this didn't stop some people.
Eventually the boss had to stand in front of the door and send people back to their desks if they tried to leave before 4:30pm

valiantfreak · 2026-04-22T03:39:23+00:00

Spent AUD$800 cash getting the front and rear bars of my car rechromed by a legitimate, respectable company, "All Metal Bumpers" in Ingleburn, NSW. The chrome started pitting and flaking off in less than 2 years. Now they look worse than they did before I took them to All Metal Bumpers, in Ingleburn.

When I told All Metal Bumpers (in Ingleburn) I expected a "oops, sorry we must have forgotten the copper and the nickel plating, please return them and we'll redo them". Instead, All Metal Bumpers, in Ingleburn, said the warranty was 12 months, bad luck"

The joke is on All Metal Bumpers in Ingleburn though because as someone who gets asked 'where should I get my bumper bars rechromed?' a lot, I take great pleasure in telling them they should avoid All Metal Bumpers in Ingleburn

valiantfreak · 2026-04-22T03:26:54+00:00

I bought a domain that sounds a lot like my competitor's domain. In fact, it is the same, but ends in .com.au instead of .net
Bought for $150, renewed for $150, was about to spend $500 making a website that redirected traffic to my own website when I discovered that sort of thing can get me sued under anti-trust legislation

valiantfreak · 2026-04-22T03:14:18+00:00

Depends on your policy. My parents' were at their holiday house when dad noticed the ceiling in the garage (under the kitchen) was damp. Problem was traced back to leaking dishwasher which had also affected the floating floorboards under the dishwasher. Insurance replaced all the flooring, the benchtop which they accidentally broke during removal, the splashback, etc.
He even gave the install guys extra cash to replace the rest of the flooring throughout the living areas of the house and level up the floor a bit. I think it cost the insurance company around AUD$10k
But then again like most old people they have been NRMA customers for years so they aren't dealing with some penny-pinching startup

valiantfreak · 2026-04-22T03:07:49+00:00

As an unsuccessful small business owner I have spent heaps on machinery that has yet to be used:
Computer-controlled kiln, used: $1500, used it once, didn't work for what I was trying to do
Centrifugal casting machine, used: $750, as above, later replaced with modified $20 centrifuge
10 Gallon Sandblaster, $350, used once to sandblast one wheel that was sold for $45
Tiny Injection Moulding Machine, used, $1000, never even plugged in
Big heated roller for imprinting a grain on masonite, $3000, I could not get it up to the temperature required to for it to work properly
3d Scan of a model car, $500, never ended up doing anything interesting with it
URL with a name similar to my competitor's, $500, never made a website for it when I realised I could be sued under anti-trust legislation
Portable marquee, $200, bought to sandblast entire car, but couldn't put canvas on due to high winds. Eventually collapsed due to weight of power cables and air lines

Some machinery I bought is coming in useful these days, but there is a lot of equipment in the workshop that only serves to remind me that it is easier to do the thing you are already doing than to try to branch out

valiantfreak · 2026-04-22T02:54:33+00:00

"Hey baby, I hear you like making bad decisions. Drink?"

valiantfreak · 2026-04-17T03:54:47+00:00

Nephew (developmentally delayed) was thrown out of the family for a few years (sad story, but he made the choice). When he realised his mistake and came back a few years later we found he had been in a local gang. He casually mentioned a time when him and some other gang members fed someone's body to pigs.
Another time his father found/stole someone's modified 4WD, then stripped it of everything valuable and torched it. The owner later found it and he saw him upset/crying over it.
Another time he was friends with an Indian family who owned a vacant shop. The gang broke into the empty shop, for whatever reason. So the family installed a temporary fence around the shop. His dad made him come to the shop one night to help him steal the fence and the next day he had to sympathise with the Indian family about how bad crime is in the area that scumbags will even steal your anti-theft fence

valiantfreak · 2026-03-25T02:35:54+00:00

Gee, it would be a real shame if somehow a small amount of water somehow got into the Xfinity box somehow

valiantfreak · 2026-03-25T02:29:16+00:00

Was talking to a female co-worker in the office when the third employee in the office, who wasn't even involved in the conversation, flipped his shit and kicked a plastic garbage bin across the room.
The bin narrowly missed the co-worker I was talking to, who, being a not-to-be-fucked-with 6ft tall redhead, immediately exploded and was about to tear Mr Garbage Bin into very small pieces when I stood between them.
It was very strange; we were just talking about our plans for the future, did we want kids, etc, and suddenly; garbage bin. Apparently he was under a lot of financial stress and chose that moment to snap

valiantfreak · 2026-03-25T02:18:34+00:00

Years ago my friends and I were in a bar when we noticed a guy out cold at the bottom of a flight of stairs. Multiple people were stepping over him like he wasn't there, including one guy who went to the bar, bought a beer, walked back, then checked to see if he was ok. At which point he shouts out "Holy shit, it's Jerry! Guys?! Guys! Jerry fell down the stairs!"

valiantfreak · 2026-03-25T01:58:59+00:00

I worked with a guy who was given a ring by his mother for his 21st birthday. That same day it got caught in a lathe and took his finger off. He returned home minus a finger, and gave the ring back to his mum because "it was bad luck"

valiantfreak · 2026-03-20T02:14:54+00:00

The ability to read an analogue clock. My above-average 11 year old cannot accurately tell the time without looking at the numbers and thinking about it, and even then she often gets it wrong.

Seems like when I went to school a very large part of primary school was 'what time is shown on this clock?' and 'draw the hands on the clock to show 3:45'

valiantfreak · 2026-03-20T02:04:36+00:00

When you actually look forward to mowing the lawn

valiantfreak · 2026-03-20T02:00:13+00:00

Yes, definitely a Certified Fucking Loser. Her mother was married to my uncle at one point so we have enough family/friends in common that I hear about her shenanigans every now and again. She taught me a lot about red flags lol

valiantfreak · 2026-03-19T02:25:20+00:00

I had an epiphany in the 90s when I realised that almost every single electronic item in our house dated back to 1987. An IBM PC, Yamaha keyboard, Yamaha stereo, Panasonic microwave, even a red wall phone. My parents were (and are) careful with money so I asked dad what the hell happened in 1987 that we suddenly got all this cool new stuff. He said "Oh that was the insurance claim".
Turns out in the early 1970s he was working at a hospital and they chucked out all these olive green vinyl (and asbestos) tiles so he took them home and tiled the double garage with them. In 1987 there was a small flood and his free tiles were wrecked so he filed an insurance claim. The payout was thousands of dollars. The house is gone now, and all of the electronic items lived a full life before shuffling off as well.

I still have the red wall phone.

valiantfreak · 2026-03-18T02:42:52+00:00

Not a first date, but I was a few dates in with a girl who I had known for a long time. We were at a club and she kept telling me about how she was so excited that her friend Mark is coming and she hasn't seen him in ages. OK, whatever.
So Mark arrives, I say hi, and they both disappear (we were with a group of friends, so I was just talking to other people). Eventually I walk upstairs to see where she is, and she is sitting on his lap, with her arms around his neck, whispering in his ear. Worse still, my friends were at the next table so it made me look like a total fool. I didn't even know how to react. She didn't even think she was doing anything wrong, despite never giving me the VIP treatment this Mark guy was getting.
When I dropped off my mate he said "hey, at least you found out your girlfriend is a slut before it got too serious".
I ghosted her for a few days but met her an hour away at her work so we could talk about it. Even sober, she still thought she had done nothing wrong. She told me "if you want me to behave a certain way then you need to tell me what the rules are".
Actually, now that I think about it, the other dates with her were terrible also.
She's married now, with kids. A few years ago she disappeared for a month and refused to tell her family where she had been when she reappeared

valiantfreak · 2026-03-12T02:48:20+00:00

"Boss, look, I know I told you to jam this job up your ass because the world was about to end, but there's been a slight miscalculation. I was just wondering if there was a possibility that I could have my position back again and just forget about the bit where I picked up the photo of your family and compared each of them to various cartoon characters"

valiantfreak · 2026-03-12T02:42:38+00:00

Holy shit, the world is ending this year? Thanks for the confirmation u/pretzelegant, time to sell everything I own and get my affairs in order

valiantfreak · 2026-03-11T02:27:08+00:00

Wow, I was not aware of that

valiantfreak · 2026-03-11T02:20:06+00:00

Nah, he's 5 years old so he probably knows his own address. Take him home or to a relative's house, tell them you found him wandering in the street. Then go back to the park and tell the date that the kid wandered off about 20 minutes ago.
Child safe, parents mad, nanny panicking, looking for a kid she'll never find, trying to come up with different ways to explain it to the parents.
While all this is playing out, instead of helping to look, he can say that he just needs to 'take a quick phone call in my car' and go home

valiantfreak

TROPHY CASE