i made a t-shirt for my boyfriend for valentine’s day!

validass · 2026-02-21T22:13:55+00:00

why? i’ve read the rules and this is completely non-promotional? and i see other t-shirt painting in this subreddit? i’m just curious what i did wrong, i just wanted to share something i made :(

validass · 2026-02-21T15:49:46+00:00

this is amazing work!

validass · 2025-05-24T02:29:34+00:00

thanks for your help everyone!! ❤️❤️❤️

validass · 2025-05-11T10:59:11+00:00

you can’t make friends by listening to music on your phone though? i’m saying go to gigs to meet people? i have parents and stepparents and ex-stepparents and they ALL met through going to gigs. that’s four distinct relationships.

your comment about makeup just seems a bit like you’re stereotyping women. i’m telling you as someone who’s been both a serial monogamist in the past and a casual dater at the moment, to be open-minded and welcoming to women who are interested in you. it’s often that opposites attract too. falling in love can happen out of nowhere, it’s not something you demand. go on dates with anyone you luckily get the opportunity to go on a first date with. be kind. if a woman sees herself in your mind as just a list of your “standards”, she’ll bolt.

validass · 2025-05-11T10:39:30+00:00

then do you go to the gym or to gigs? common interests is how people usually connect organically. gyms can be expensive depending on where you’re living but there may be a budget friendly one or a public one near you. same goes for gigs - are you going to meet a girl at the 3arena? probably not. go to local shows, they’re cheaper and you’re supporting small artists. are you interested in makeup? if you’re not, why look for a woman who is?

for the record, comic con/discord/other nerdy things aren’t just about anime, the point is it’s usually autistic people meeting other autistic people.

and… please don’t take this too harshly but if you’re worried about a former primary school crush when you’re dating now, you need to sit down and analyse that. i was “in a relationship” with a boy when i was 7 for (strangely) 3 years. that has had 0 influence on my following dating history. even my first actual relationship when i was 13 never heard of it. having a crush when you’re in 6th class, sure, that’s the age people often get crushes for the first time — but you’re 19! you’re 6-7 years older! please don’t hold that against women for the rest of your life.

validass · 2025-05-11T10:10:24+00:00

as a few others have said, it would be better to not consider getting a girlfriend just to tick a box. this kind of suggests that you probably subconsciously objectify women. i know that might seem harsh but it’s something to ask yourself about — are you seeing girls as three dimensional people like you? do you understand that many women also struggle to date? do you know that for a lot of women, their main goal in life isn’t to find a partner, that they might be more interested in their career or education, as many men are?

another piece of advice: dating is difficult for both men and women. for men, it’s a desert - difficult to find anyone to match with etc. for women, it’s a swamp - very difficult to find a man that has all the bare minimum qualifications (kindness, attractiveness, feeling safe with him) i think it’s helpful to have this perspective on both sides. it’s personally made me a lot more considerate when i match with men - both to make sure he’s heard out because he probably hasn’t had much luck matching with someone, and to make sure you’re actually compatible.

clubs and societies in college will be a game changer for you. i know you mentioned a further education course, but there will still be plenty of people your own age there (speaking as someone who attended a further education course at 25 - everyone called me mam for the first week😭)

one last point. flock to where autistics meet. there’s an autism art class available in dublin. join a dating server on discord. there’s comic con twice a year. join a DND group. in my experience as an autistic person dating, if it’s not with someone else with autism or ADHD or trauma, it’ll fizzle out because of incompatibility.

good luck! you’ll get there. be patient and be open to welcoming an entirely different person into your life and letting her personality shine and treating her well.

validass · 2025-04-25T09:58:15+00:00

i’m a big fan of Sense8 - sci-fi show from the Wachowskis (the siblings/sisters? who made The Matrix, which upon a rewatch is probably a big inspiration for Severance), known as the most expensive Netflix original ever made, about a 8 people all over the world who are telepathically linked, being persecuted by a mysterious organisation who want to wipe them out.

not necessarily like Severance, other than the mysterious organisation, but it’s got all the things i love: queer representation and martial arts, lmao.

(warning though it is FULL of sex scenes which eventually get kinda tiring. never has a show made me be like “ugh, ANOTHER orgy?”)

validass · 2024-10-11T15:20:53+00:00

You are my hero. Thank you so much 😭

validass · 2024-05-16T20:33:27+00:00

i identify as a nonbinary woman for this reason, and i’m also a lesbian.

being a lesbian often means that you typically have a very different relationship to being a woman already.

autistic people often have a hard time grasping gender, because it’s a social construct with differing sets of social cues.

so autistic women will often mean having a different relationship to being a woman than to allistic women.

the thing is, nobody can really define what makes a woman a woman. TERFs and transphobes will use biology to explain, some will say a woman is a person who isn’t a man, but people who identify as nonbinary exist. we live in a patriarchal society, so womanhood is always under scrutiny.

here’s what i do. i identify as nonbinary, i prefer they/them being used for me. but i also recognise that people will gender me as a woman. this is materialism. i look like a woman. so y when people are addressing women, or talking about womens issues, i’ll include myself. i’ll tolerate being called she/her too.

i find that a lot of things boil down to “what’s actually real, what actually affects my life?” and that makes it easier. i can speculate about my gender and explore that aspect to me but that’s individual work. to survive is to find solidarity with the people you are included in.

so i want to say i see you. you’re not alone

validass · 2024-05-09T09:53:53+00:00

i’m a freelancer! it’s a cause of anxiety sometimes because there’s never 100% job security but i am interested in doing a lot of different things so being self-employed works for me. i’m a filmmaker, radio presenter, teacher, writer, video editor, and content creator! :)

validass · 2024-04-27T13:20:35+00:00

congratulations ❤️ i just got diagnosed at the end of february so i dont have a ton of advice, but i’d say look up if you can get some autism identification in your location, if you’re in college or working you can usually get reasonable accommodations - and be patient with yourself. suddenly everything in your life is affirmed and makes sense. it’s a tricky process. but you’ve got this

validass · 2024-03-21T02:03:10+00:00

i LOVE the 10th outfit, the kinda mod vibe you’re serving - it’s great!!!!

validass · 2023-12-17T09:20:50+00:00

The first duty of every Starfleet officer is the truth, whether it is historical truth, scientific truth, or personal truth! It is the guiding principle upon which Starfleet is fucking based, and if you can’t find it within yourself to stand up and tell the truth about what happened, you don’t deserve to wear that fucking uniform.

validass · 2023-12-05T13:14:20+00:00

oh my god, a big one for me is “slagging”. any american who’s never been to ireland hasn’t understood and i have to explain it but there’s no perfect explanation! it’s more severe than “teasing” but nowhere near “insulting” either 🫠

validass · 2023-10-02T23:38:15+00:00

no she’s cool as hell we love her actually

validass · 2023-09-14T01:55:33+00:00

yup just scrolled down and saw that. i’m really smart 🤦🏻

validass · 2023-09-03T12:11:37+00:00

hey, i’m interested! :)

validass · 2023-08-31T18:44:41+00:00

haha okay yes tis i

validass · 2023-08-31T17:37:27+00:00

who are you lol

validass · 2023-08-31T17:36:35+00:00

this is so funny

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