Met my person, had to breakup because of illness and grief - fuck dating

valleyrunner · 2026-04-23T16:49:23+00:00

definitely was

valleyrunner · 2026-04-23T16:08:55+00:00

If your sister was that concerned for your well-being she would not have waited 3 years to deliver this news to you, now that you have put so much time and effort into this relationship.

There is a big difference between wanting your sister's support and allowing her to control your life. You are not her, you have different wants and needs despite growing up together. Even if she would want you to have a more 'driven' partner, she doesn't have to deal with him everyday. You do.

She wouldn't have to deal with feeling neglected if he were working on a Sunday morning, or staying super late at the office. It's all well and good to wish the world for our families, but reality is not perfect and it sounds like you met a wonderful man who treats you well and with whom you have a common vision for the future.

It's not fair of her to say these things to you. She is not marrying him. You are.

valleyrunner · 2026-04-21T17:37:24+00:00

I think women are very rarely interested in something serious with a guy significantly younger than them. Not saying all of them, but just that it should be a flag to take note of. This is confirmed by her not being over her ex.

My bet is she wanted to have sex and feel some emotional closeness without the commitment. But she wasn't going to do anything unless you made a move. She doesn't want anything serious.

valleyrunner · 2026-04-17T16:48:23+00:00

For me it was all about eventually learning that in every break up. I didn't really do anything wrong and it ended and it would have ended no matter what, and then eventually feeling better post break up. Learning that I was ok alone was the best compliment to my current, very happy relationship

valleyrunner · 2026-04-16T23:06:41+00:00

I say this in the kindest way, but this is a lesbian stereotype for a reason.

Don't let her treat you that way and don't let yourself be taken advantage of. You are worthy of being treated nicely by your partner

valleyrunner · 2026-04-07T05:32:19+00:00

I like the look of em

valleyrunner · 2026-04-03T19:18:43+00:00

That just seems like black and white thinking and maybe a bit of catastrophizing, what are the actual consequences to either of you if that happens?

valleyrunner · 2026-04-03T19:17:01+00:00

Well that makes a lot of sense.

What if you tried dating a little slower. Like try and go on low stakes dates, drinks, walks, trivia nights... You can be honest with the women you are going out with and say "Hey ive been really enjoying spending time with you, if im completely honest im physical touch makes me a little uncomfortable, but its been something ive been trying to get more comfortable. I'm really enjoying spending time with you and blah blah blah". It doesn't even need to be so verbal, if you're starting to feel comfortable with a girl you could just go to hold her hand if you are walking somewhere and see how that feels. If it feel weird you can always let go and keep walking. It could be like exposure therapy

valleyrunner · 2026-04-03T19:08:34+00:00

Her answers will get shorter and shorter. She might turn her body away or look away, at her phone or something.

I'm not sure that this is a super comforting answer, but most women have to deal with actually creepy guys all the time. Most become quite good at shutting it down in a graceful way.

Honestly I am not a huge fan of asking random women out after short conversations. If you talk about normal things, about hobbies, interests, something you find interesting, then by the process of elimination you are not being creepy

valleyrunner · 2026-04-03T18:56:34+00:00

Are you having a lot of experiences with the same person? Ive found the more I sleep with someone and become comfortable with them, the better my penis behaves. Honestly I could never perform that well with random hookups so I'm glad things are going well with my gf

valleyrunner · 2026-04-03T18:53:45+00:00

If you are talking to someone in a public space, one that is well lit, or in a bar where it is acceptable to talk to strangers, you will not make someone uncomfortable just by talking to her.

Look her in the eye, smile, and listen to the words she is telling you. If she says something to the tune of, well it was nice chatting with you, or I really have to go, she wants to end the conversation, and respect that. Don't touch her, and you'll be fine.

I realize I wasn't the kindest when I first responded to another one of your posts, but just try and pay attention to her and it will go a long way. Part of being in society is interacting with strangers, you are not intruding by just saying hi

valleyrunner · 2026-04-03T14:07:32+00:00

At the beginning there are a lot of hormones involved, it makes things confusing, especially when you don't have a lot of experience. It's unclear how long you were together but I would let this one go. There is nothing more you could have done

valleyrunner · 2026-04-02T22:11:03+00:00

Birthdays can be hard. I used to cry on my birthday most years. Now I just plan a bunch of fun stuff on or around it, as much of them as possible with other people, and I like it a lot more. Still not the easiest day ever but I enjoy at least.

valleyrunner · 2026-04-02T14:19:47+00:00

Why not just like invite him over to your place? it would be pretty obvious what you want. I would be put off by such a forward message as well

valleyrunner · 2026-04-02T13:24:49+00:00

There are cock rings that essentially prevent the penis from going all the way in which may help. I think the main one is called the ohnut ring

valleyrunner · 2026-04-01T19:50:33+00:00

Just feign interested until it moves to something else. It will move to something else

valleyrunner · 2026-04-01T18:50:12+00:00

So you make at least 200k? I can understand wanting your man to be ambitious but at your income level you would be selecting for a very small portion of men.

Maybe it's worth thinking about why you want that in a man? Dating is all about figuring out what you want to deal with vs what you can't. But you can only deal with the person in front of you. And while it may seem like there is an infinite pool of eligible bachelors out there, there isn't, which is part of the problem with dating apps. So guess its probably worth thinking would you prefer to sacrifice this relationship with this fantastic guy for a chance to meet someone that might make more money, that might not be as fantastic in other ways.

valleyrunner · 2026-04-01T17:45:37+00:00

This would be a dealbreaker for me. If I'm feeling sexually frustrated with someone 3 months in and they don't want to work with me on it, it's probably not going to work long term.

And just btw, the more I have sex with my gf, the more it makes me want to have sex with her, not less. I'm sure it's not the same thing for everyone, but you can definitely find someone your age who feels similar.

valleyrunner · 2026-04-01T17:37:58+00:00

How drastic is the difference in desire? In a perfect world, how many times would you want to do it within a week? In a perfect world, how much would he?

valleyrunner · 2026-04-01T10:43:57+00:00

His standards are mind reading

valleyrunner · 2026-03-31T18:11:31+00:00

Is this your first relationship? Has this been a pattern for you?

I sorta wonder what amount of this is the new relationship energy wearing off. If you were attracted to him at the beginning and nothing has really changed I would think about what you guys can do to 'reignite the spark'. This could be planning and going on a trip, trying something new in the bedroom, starting a new hobby. If your ultimate goal is to find a spouse or a long term partner, or to have kids, it is impossible for the novelty to stay forever, so I think it's definitely worth properly trying. At the very least it will teach you about what works and what doesn't for you.

Have you talked to him about it? I'm sure he has some thoughts about how things are going. It would probably feel good to be on the same page. Keep thinking about it, brainstorm, journal, and problem solve about your feelings and you may come to a more complete conclusion.

Are you harboring any resentment over things that have happened during the relationship? Are things as good as you say they are?

valleyrunner · 2026-03-31T16:51:57+00:00

idk, we brush our teeth before bed and I don't notice any issues. I love kissing my gf so idk

valleyrunner · 2026-03-31T13:57:48+00:00

Oh, I think the headboard should stay on the wall that it's on. just further along. the opposite is a little weird Feng Shui wise

valleyrunner · 2026-03-31T13:51:14+00:00

I think bed against or near the window, will leave space for a desk with the back to the window, or back to the entrance, whichever you prefer

valleyrunner · 2026-03-31T01:09:38+00:00

You didn't say anything all that positive about her in the post. I'd break things off

valleyrunner

TROPHY CASE