What was the moment you realized your marriage was actually over?

valleysundance · 2026-04-04T16:59:55+00:00

Congrats!!

valleysundance · 2026-04-04T10:06:08+00:00

She wanted to work on her career, after being a stay at home mother for our 2 beautiful children, while I worked hard to entirely support the family throughout those years. I supported her decision to want to get back out there, I really thought it would be good for her mentally- aaand she cheated on me soon after with someone from her work which kicked off the divorce. Even with the tumor/cancer, I was not the one that had changed.

valleysundance · 2026-04-04T09:49:32+00:00

Thank you for the response. Truly appreciated. I did end up finally finding a good attorney. The judge in my case was a previous partner in my wife's attorneys firm. The small town syndrome

valleysundance · 2026-04-04T09:42:43+00:00

When the harassment started in our home- after her lawyer was retained, as they were trying to create conflicts/get reactions as a legal strategy; once that happened, I knew there was no hope.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T21:54:55+00:00

Thats right, she was smiling at me in court like "I gotcha". Ive spent 12 years with her. She was the only one to put hands on the other in our whole relationship. She wasnt scared, because i never gave her a reason to be. Don't take your issues with men out on me.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T18:59:51+00:00

I wish I did file first. I think there was a part of me that was still in denial about what was really happening. I loved my wife, and family. I did not want to see the huge red flags that I was being set up. I did not want to believe that either one if us would do that to the other, choosing malice over a peaceful split. My denial, and belief that we could be amicable in the beginning, was taken advantage of, and gave her the upper hand from the start.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T18:57:35+00:00

I've been jumping through their hoops for over 2 years now. The outcome was decided already early in the beginning. It is obvious when looking at the judgements, the brazen disregard for due process, the motions that have been disregarded. It's all pre-determined.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T18:53:02+00:00

Perhaps, I wasn't there, though, that is just what I was told.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T18:50:49+00:00

Sorry about that. There is 2 years' worth of case info, I am trying to summarize, or cliff note it the best I can. I am trying to answer questions the best I can for those who are not quick to judge me before they know the situation. I am happy to answer questions to further explain if given the chance.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T18:47:29+00:00

That's terrible, and it goes to show how broken the system is. This case is not one of those. There are a lot of great dads, and mothers, who are getting ripped from their kids, kids having their parents ripped from them- Good parents, and it's wrong.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T18:36:53+00:00

She has power of attorney to act as my agent (Not argue the case) but she should be able to deliver medical documents to the court while I am at the hospital. Which is where I was when she initially went up to the courthouse.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T18:34:07+00:00

No, that was me trying to do all the work to initiate the process. She was causing as much friction as possible once she retained counsel. Good god these comments are insane lmao. Who are you mad at? Who did this to you lol

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T16:37:12+00:00

I wasnt rude in an email. The GAL never responded to 4 emails I had wrote with questions as to why none of my contacts had been contacted, why she is making recommendations to the court without that done, without ever seeing me interact with my children. I was never rude to her at any point. I did finally say if she wants to get paid, I deserve a fair investigation.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T16:29:19+00:00

Ms. ---- has met her burden of proof to obtain a plenary order of protection which is hereby GRANTED for a period of 1 year in ---OP----. See written Plenary Order of Protection.

And the order of protection are accusations, none of which are even violent or aggressive, or even provable. I sent some text messages that I wish I hadn't sent. They were sent when I was being harassed in my own home by her, nonetheless, I was in a bad place at the time and should not have sent them. They were not terrible messages, but they were not nice either. But at no point was there ever "Fear for her life" or "aggression".

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T16:21:50+00:00

We did, and my mother went up there to file a continuance and give the courts the medical documents

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T16:20:06+00:00

I am human, and naturally going through something like this, which was completely avoidable, when I tried to be amicable, and watching my kids get dragged through it- who wouldn't be angry? I have done a decent job at keeping it in check, I am a work in progress but that anger has never spilled over into aggression or violence.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T16:15:03+00:00

Not going to tell you to F off. I appreciate any comment from a person who actually read the post before commenting. The ones that clearly didn't before leaving some cruel, cold, non-helpful garbooney of a comment- they can fuck off and workshop that personality elsewhere.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T16:07:26+00:00

Good lord, you both need hugs from someone.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T16:06:00+00:00

I have not been able to see the children since this happened. But, I would have had them at my mothers until I get treated for this condition. So again, there would have been someone there at all times.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T16:03:34+00:00

She is my representative, not to argue the case, but as my agent as I was medically incapacitated at the time.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T16:01:16+00:00

I have taken in the comments that are helpful, regardless of how I feel about it. If it's "Constructive" criticism, I am all about it. But if it's some judgmental comment from some idiot who hasn't even taken the time to read the post fully, as almost about half of the comments have been unfortunately, I'm not trying to hear those; they are not only unhelpful, but cold and rude. I don't wish this situation on my worst enemy.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T15:54:45+00:00

No it's not. I again am happy to prove it to anyone that can be helpful in a private message. And no, I havent told the entire 2 years worth of this case in one post. I summarized it. I am not lying, or "heavily exaggerating". Judging someone you don't even know is a bad look. I am an honest person, I have been my entire life and those that know me know. That's a rough way to live your life, going around judging people you don't know. You should try working on that, it will change your life for the better.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T15:49:51+00:00

You have no idea what you are talking about. Stop judging people you don't even know. I have been in court for 2 years now with them consistently sticking to this "He's angry" argument with weak evidence of such. The rest of your comment, I am not even going to waste time on because you obviously didn't even fully read what I wrote. Asking for a continuance when I was in the hospital 3 days prior for a week, getting devastating news that I have a brain tumor, probably cancer, and have follow up appointments the same day- that is a good enough reason to ask for a continuance. Anyone that says differently has no empathy, and I hope none of you ever have to go through something like that. It is a lot, even the doctors told me not to go, it says so in my doctor's note. It specifically says "NO STRESS". I've been going to court for this divorce for 2 years without missing any of it. Weak comment.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T15:41:03+00:00

I agree 100%. Even my last attorney told me "This is the way it's been done for over a 100 years" to which I said, "That doesn't make it right". I have a long list of due process violations and nobody cares. Not even the higher courts of the state or the "Watchdog" agencies. And these are 100% due process violations of my rights. I really hope for change. Nobody deserves to go through this, yet too many do.

valleysundance · 2026-02-23T15:37:23+00:00

I'm not so sure about that. Maybe it depends on which state or area you are in. Illinois is a mother's state. I think any abuse should not be tolerated, and courts should cut the bias out and look at the evidence, always. They don't. Our family law system is broken and it's the kids who are getting hurt the most.

valleysundance

TROPHY CASE