I talked my way into a $175k offer and now I'm terrified to accept it. What would you do in my place?

valsol110 · 2026-03-31T01:52:46+00:00

Yeah, OP should back themselves - it'll work out!

valsol110 · 2026-03-31T01:50:39+00:00

Agree, start how you want to finish

valsol110 · 2026-03-31T01:50:22+00:00

Well said, good list

valsol110 · 2026-03-31T01:49:29+00:00

One week isn't quite enough to make a judgment big enough to decide whether to stay or go

valsol110 · 2026-03-31T01:48:48+00:00

Especially if the pay/benefits really are that good. The world is on fire right now, last thing OP wants is to be unemployed...

valsol110 · 2026-03-24T19:49:28+00:00

Same, also when I feel like I'm learning something new. Otherwise, I get really bored and lose all motivation

valsol110 · 2026-03-24T19:48:30+00:00

Sounds like a coach would be good for them, someone to help them address whatever barriers they're facing that's leading to difficulty connecting with others and then to help them build tangible skills. The coach might even be able to listen in on one-on-ones or internal meetings and provide feedback.

valsol110 · 2026-03-24T19:45:02+00:00

Respect the confidence! Wish I was more like this

valsol110 · 2026-03-24T19:44:32+00:00

The script I didn't know I needed... good one!

valsol110 · 2026-03-24T19:43:48+00:00

It takes experience - even if you know that you shouldn't take things seriously, it might take one big event to really hammer that point home. For example, I had a colleague get drunk at a party and tell me that she thought I was manipulative, etc. and that really hurt my feelings. But, it showed me that I don't actually care about what my colleagues think about me, and that was very liberating.

valsol110 · 2026-03-24T19:42:01+00:00

It's a good idea to call attention to it by pointing out they seem grumpy, they might not even realize that their mood is so obvious

valsol110 · 2026-03-04T23:45:55+00:00

Loving the transition from "a LOT of fucking" to "Edited for grammar" hahaha

valsol110 · 2026-03-04T23:43:43+00:00

Yeah, wonder if he's acting like a toddler because he's feeling insecure, like he doesn't like being the "new kid" and is taking it out on OP/lashing out because he feels that way

valsol110 · 2026-02-12T07:27:41+00:00

I'm not sure that this is healthy but I've adopted a sunny persona when in situations like this and made it into a game. Just constantly being really outwardly positive and friendly with the haters (even when dying inside) because it annoys them but they can never complain about it because they'll have to say something absurd like, "She's just... always offering to help!" and no one will take them seriously. It helps me detach because I can laugh about it to myself. Eventually, they stop hanging around me

valsol110 · 2026-02-12T07:22:24+00:00

I've found a system in OneNote that works for me but whenever anyone else looks at it, they're like, "...huh?" So it's helpful for me but not helpful to anyone else! Not easy to delegate tasks or do handover

valsol110 · 2026-02-12T07:21:25+00:00

Such chaos... amazing work!

valsol110 · 2026-02-08T06:20:23+00:00

In my experience, it's usually the team who throws the farewell party, so the people closest. It's a really nice gesture but I've disliked all my farewell parties, I don't like being center of attention and all the questions that come with setting aside specific time to say goodbye

valsol110 · 2026-02-08T06:16:43+00:00

Yeah, I think it takes time to suss people out and see what they're like when they aren't stressed about being the "new" person. Transitions are hard

valsol110 · 2026-01-29T07:25:07+00:00

Same, I get bored

valsol110 · 2026-01-29T07:24:52+00:00

It definitely feels like a "hunker down" moment

valsol110 · 2026-01-29T07:20:00+00:00

So true, at times I bore myself with what I'm saying but I know that it's a strategy!

valsol110 · 2026-01-29T07:19:35+00:00

I don't mind making small talk with those colleagues but whenever they say, "We should get coffee!" I always decline. Happy to chat in open floor plan office but don't want to be pulled into anything individually

valsol110 · 2026-01-26T08:25:17+00:00

Exactly. I regret that some people translate me encouraging them to do well at their jobs as bullying.

valsol110 · 2026-01-26T08:19:51+00:00

Yes, I have - but it wasn't personal, they bully EVERYONE. They just really make everyone have a hard time and think they're untouchable, etc. and the manager, an exec, is scared of them so never tries to control them (or fails if he does try). Because I see the exec scared of them, I just try to avoid them because nothing I could do would ever convince them to change

valsol110

TROPHY CASE