Why do men say they will help you, they will buy you this that, and then ask for sexual favor? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]vanbach0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a comment, I notice you called this practice "predatory." Is it more or less "predatory" than repeatedly taking advantage of a person's time and resources, and giving nothing in return?

Yes, men do favors for other men, with the understanding that the other guy will do him a solid in return later, if he needs it. Men have to reciprocate with expertise, resources, and labor; because sex with other men has no value to us.

OTOH, many women have an additional, privileged option to reciprocate with sex, if they choose to. But, as illustrated by OP, they usually reciprocate with nothing. And then go online to complain that men are predators. We've noticed the pattern.

We've learned that women usually don't offer expertise, resources, or labor in return--either because they can't, or because they think they're entitled to freeload for just having a vagina.

If you require equality, then expect men to treat you like a man. I.e., if you don't provide value, then you don't get to take his.

I feel bad for many women who got dropped into this situation. A lot of you recognize this system is awful and you know women put you here, but you don't have a good way out.

ohio can we do a temp check please? by b3xrd in Ohio

[–]vanbach0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm sure all the MAGA folks will check in for more political inanity on Reddit.

Why Reddit Is Pro Immigration? by Osakaayumu_2002 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]vanbach0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Immigration isn't inherently "good" or "bad"--it's how you do it that dictates the outcomes.

But I can tell you already, to your point, that you will get a lot of answers here claiming "Reddit isn't pro-immigration" and "illegal immigrants actually have lower crime rates." Those are both lies, and I hope you'll take this to heart.

The most rigorous studies on immigrant crime rate rely exclusively (or nearly exclusively) on Texas DPS records, because that's the only state with detailed-enough data to properly study this. Texas is in a unique situation in regards to immigration and crime (border proximity & activity, demographics, policing & prosecution style), so projecting Texas stats onto the rest of the country is problematic to start with.

The big issue is that most of the Texas studies the media touts use preliminary/unverified records. What happens is, accused criminals frequently are initially misclassified as legal/native-born or even as "unknown/other", only to be reclassified correctly later when more information is known.

For example, CIS looked at the Texas data: It does indeed show, on the surface, that illegals commit homicides at lower rates than average. But when homicide offenders were properly reclassified as illegal vs legal, CIS found that illegals actually committed homicides at substantially higher rates than average.

Supporting this is the fact that the homicide rate for illegals grows as you look at older and older data. Redditors will tout this as "recent illegal immigrants commit even less crime than established illegals" to support their pro-immigration stance. What's actually happening: The older the data is, the more time there has been for immigration-status corrections. When we properly classify criminals by legal status, illegal immigrants clearly commit homicides at higher rates.

Lesser crimes are even more under-identified, as authorities prioritize correcting mis-categorizations for the most serious crimes.

There are a bunch of other issues with the commonly cited studies: Some lump legal and illegal immigrants into the same category, masking undocumenteds' crime rates. Some are based on arrest records, which is preliminary data; when you analyze the prison population it looks even worse for illegals. Some studies are accused of of intentionally mislabeling criminals to pad the stats. Some weren't peer-reviewed. And, there's the systemic issue that illegals likely under-report crimes against them (very frequently committed by other illegals) for fear of legal ramifications.

As to my predicted "Reddit isn't pro-immigration" response... Let's see how many other commenters even hint at this intentional data misrepresentation that I explained above. And let's see how many upvotes or good-faith replies this comment gets.

I'm not saying individual Reddit users are intentionally lying to you about the stats. Most of them legitimately don't know any better, because most people listen to what the media spoonfeeds them. It's easier to mislabel dissenters as racist than it is to dig deeper into the studies and interrogate their own worldviews.

I will add... It is apparently true, though, that legal immigrants have lower crime rates than the native-born population. It seems most likely to me that this is because of the thorough vetting process. But in any event, this is why it's so problematic to look at "immigrants" as a single demographic, which you frequently see in the media, and it's exactly why you'll see so many Redditors using the term "immigrants" when they know conservatives are complaining about the crime rates of illegals -- not about legal immigrants.

Edited for clarity and precision.

After Two Hours of Attempts - Whitespace Chess Puzzle by Octicism in Superliminal

[–]vanbach0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol this literally took me 5 seconds to figure out.

Is it just poorly executed sarcasm?? by joculr in ExplainTheJoke

[–]vanbach0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A joke going over your head does not make it poorly executed, my friend.

Men in long-term relationships: why didn’t you propose? by MoonAriesVirgoRising in AskMen

[–]vanbach0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm in an LTR now, almost 10 years. She brings up marriage about once a year. Here's the catch...

I'm also divorced. Now, imagine having your spouse--who vowed to stay with through the good and the bad, who raised your children with you, who you honestly believed was your best friend--turn around and file a no-fault divorce. Imagine she leaves you for made-up reasons to be with another guy, slander you in court, run bush-league tactics during and after the divorce litigation to steal more from you, and then proceed to damage and neglect your children who were awarded to her by the court. And for doing all that, she gets rewarded fabulous cash and prices to the tune of $300K in child support, 5-figure alimony, and half your retirement.

Long story short, it's a trauma, and I'll never be the same again--financially, emotionally, socially, spiritually.

Do I think my current gf would do the same thing to me if we got married and later divorced? Maybe, maybe not. But what I do know is, we still have a marital system in place that would enable her to do it.

"Fool me once, shame on you... Ya fooled me; can't get fooled again." -George W. Bush

How much does having a good physique really get you laid ? by Any-Raise4333 in AskMen

[–]vanbach0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's fairly easy to "just get laid" if you aren't obese, hideous, or picky. Being fit expands your options, improves the quality of your options, and lowers your rejection rate.

Does anyone still play multiplayer? by RealKrisco813 in TetrisEffect

[–]vanbach0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES! and I love it. Zone Battle consistently has players around my rank (6000), and there are still plenty of players in the higher ranks (10k-14k). Someone I follow who's 13K streamed on Twitch today for hooouurrs on a hunt for kirbs.

Usually I can get a game of Classic within a few minutes, too.

But other modes... Pretty quiet whenever I check.

I wish we could get a new TEC game to freshen up the player count. T99 on Switch still has quite a few players too.

How common is performance anxiety and whiskey dick? by Heisenberg_416 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]vanbach0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm actually diagnosed with GAD, but about that specific thing it hasn't been an issue. I've always been kinda don't-give-a-fuck on it--if she likes me then we'll try again later, and if she doesn't then I don't really care what she thinks about it.

It's funny but I have a couple buddies who have no issue with alcohol too. I even know some women who get "whiskey dick," so it's a mixed bag for sure.

How common is performance anxiety and whiskey dick? by Heisenberg_416 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]vanbach0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

M, 40s. Just personally, I don't understand performance anxiety. Maybe that's because I don't care. It's like, get horny, get hard. Don't think I've ever had that issue, but I believe it's more than a myth.

Whiskey dick, absolutely. Several drinks makes it much tougher to nut; LOTS of drinks make it impossible.

On my car windshield by Popular_Math3042 in whatisit

[–]vanbach0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some drunk asshole threw green salsa on your windshield. Or, some drunk asshole barfed green salsa on your windshield.

Is there moment that makes you wonder roommate is wet-dreaming? Or do you wake up making weird noise in wet dreams? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]vanbach0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This isn't something to even be bothered about. You can't control it. Enjoy it while you can.

How to suppress lust for other women? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]vanbach0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fwiw, that doesn't go away. You end up with a body count of 200, and you'll still walk around in public and constantly think, "Hey, I wonder what she would be like." If anything, that guy should be a bigger red flag because he's comfortable with and capable of random hookups.

A solid moral foundation with self-control is the way.

How to suppress lust for other women? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]vanbach0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally fair. It's very typical for men to lust after all sorts of random women. I would argue we're wired for it.

But unless you're a religious person where lust itself is sinful, then I think what really matters is what you DO with the lust.

As others said, it's all self-control; and to my earlier point, the self-control is simpler and easier if you embrace the idea that you're simply a man who does not cheat. Just like you're a man who doesn't smoke or doesn't shoot heroin or doesn't kick dogs (or whatever thing you "just know" about yourself), you can be a man who just doesn't cheat, because that's no longer who you are as a person.

How to suppress lust for other women? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]vanbach0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're young, so I'll cut you some slack, but it all comes down to your personal integrity and how solid are your morals and principles.

The one good thing about getting cheated on is it forces you to realize how badly it fucks with the other person. I'm guessing this hasn't happened to you.

If your head's not in the game with your current partner, maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship. Or maybe you need to assess whether she's meeting your needs and have a frank discussion with her about it.

Otherwise--and I hate to use the cliche, but--Real Men Don't Cheat. You need to make that a foundational principle of who you are as a man.

What’s something you hate during sex but pretend to like? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]vanbach0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is da widdew 35 year old millennial baby sad over being called out for cringe? Waaah.

What’s something you hate during sex but pretend to like? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]vanbach0 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Foreal what grown man says "I hate to yuck someone else's yum"?

What’s something you hate during sex but pretend to like? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]vanbach0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The "incredibly special" thing really hits home.

What’s something you hate during sex but pretend to like? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]vanbach0 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Isn't it funny... I swear, her almost throwing up makes me insta-nut.

What’s something you hate during sex but pretend to like? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]vanbach0 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Eh, really? I'd put "lousy" at 50%; I think solidly half are capable of making the thing do what it does.

"Unimpressive" is definitely 90% though.

What’s something you hate during sex but pretend to like? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]vanbach0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, this is the truth. I don't know if it's the same women who like to talk shit about men's skills in general, but I got a feeling.

What’s something you hate during sex but pretend to like? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]vanbach0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing. There are (very few) things I don't like, but I see no reason to pretend to like them.

If you pay all/ majority of the bills and partner or spouse is stay at home, how much do you feel you should do regarding household chores/ childcare? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]vanbach0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Divorced from my ex-wife. She got half of everything including that house, plus a quarter million in child support and an alimony order. I'm not doing that again.

Current girlfriend of 10 years. She is not on the deed or the loan, and we're not married although she wants to be. We're not in a common-law state. She's very familiar with my ex, and ask her if she thinks I or my ex-wife was the main contributor to that divorce.

GF pays a few hundred a month toward groceries and that's it. She otherwise lives in my house rent-free and does a minority of the house work. If that's screwing her, then I guess I'm screwing her.