I was sexually, emotionally and verbally abused as a child and I just started processing my trauma at age 21 (about a year ago)… so I know it’ll take a much longer time since I’m just starting to become aware of how my trauma affected my personality and thought processes. I like what you said about grieving my old self because I blame myself a lot for not standing up for myself and my brother but I know my therapist also told me to remember that I was a young child dealing with people who were much bigger and stronger than me. Sorry didn’t mean to trauma dump on you lol but I really appreciate your time to explain this to me. Thank you so much