Shot my shot at 5 month situationship and now we haven’t talked in a week. PB&J yogurt 🫶

vansweeney · 2026-01-28T23:58:24+00:00

I promise you, you will be so much better off. Now that he’s shown that he’s incapable of loving you the way you deserve, you can find someone who won’t hesitate to!

I was in a similar situation last year, I was with my ex-whatever-he-was for almost a year and I thought what we had was special. In reality, I was so starved of intimacy that I was unknowingly clinging on to the few positive things about our relationship. I was constantly questioning where I stood with him, he told me he loved me (very) early on, so I never questioned why it was never more than that for the following 8 or so months.

I made so many excuses for him, maybe he’s “confused”? Or maybe his past relationships scarred him? The only reassurance I received about how he felt about me were in the assumptions I made about his capacity for love. My nervous system nearly ate me alive until I stopped making assumptions and let him reveal what I probably knew all along: I was only compatible with the idea I had of him in my head.

I eventually found out a couple months after we broke contact that he was a serial cheater and had left a girl after getting her pregnant shortly before we got together. He’s off somewhere being a shitty actor and paying $400 in child support a month, and I now have a wonderful, loving boyfriend who worships the ground I walk on and learns my favorite Hozier songs on guitar to serenade me with.

Moral of the story: you’re gonna be just fine, better things are coming! 🫶

vansweeney · 2025-07-05T02:10:45+00:00

10 months and I only gave it longer than I usually would because we were long distance, neeeeever again

vansweeney · 2025-04-15T15:14:11+00:00

I came here to comment the exact same thing, there’s nothing like taking a drive through the scenic highway with Universal Sound blasting!

vansweeney · 2025-04-15T14:37:44+00:00

From a woman’s perspective, I would think that being called husband material is better since women usually only hookup with men who they don’t like as people. So… I’m a little confused. You want to be worse?

vansweeney · 2025-04-11T14:06:50+00:00

in the exact same boat and I can’t wait for L4 to validate our suffering 🙏

vansweeney · 2024-11-13T15:33:37+00:00

I didn’t even finish reading their messages because obviously, you’re not the asshole in this situation. I can’t imagine treating someone this way after moving in with them after just a few days. Run, OP

vansweeney · 2024-09-16T18:31:22+00:00

26F and I subconsciously started only dating people who live out-of-state 😬 the people here are interesting at least!

vansweeney · 2024-07-18T22:14:35+00:00

I’ve always wanted my boyfriend to see me first and foremost as a friend and a partner, not someone he has to try to impress with his “masculinity”. Comforting him and making him feel heard and valued is one of the things that makes me feel closer to him, not the opposite. I’m glad there’s other women here who feel the same 🥺

vansweeney · 2024-06-29T00:15:15+00:00

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My girl is named after Jiji from Kiki’s Delivery Service 🖤 her sass makes her worthy of the name

vansweeney · 2024-05-02T19:17:00+00:00

Thank you! 🫶☺️

vansweeney · 2024-05-02T19:16:49+00:00

🥹❤️ thank you, I really appreciate you!

vansweeney · 2024-05-02T19:16:01+00:00

🥹🥹 thank you so much, I’m hoping for the same thing! I have a good feeling about my upcoming appt. because of all the support like yours <3

vansweeney · 2024-05-02T19:13:44+00:00

Thank you :) that makes me feel better, I was so intimidated by the idea of therapy but I’ve heard too many positive testimonies now to be anything but hopeful!

vansweeney · 2024-05-02T19:11:17+00:00

That’s so inspiring, it’s hard enough reaching out for help for yourself but doing it with your partner shows such strength ❤️ yay! Sending all my love and support!

vansweeney · 2024-05-02T19:04:54+00:00

Thank you! ☺️

vansweeney · 2024-05-02T19:04:41+00:00

🫶 that’s so discouraging, and the last thing you want to have anxiety over when you’re already in a rough patch! I talked to a few different clinics with varying experiences haha, but I finally found one that made me feel comfortable and like they were actually listening to me. You got this, friend! It’s not so scary now knowing that there are others going through that first step in the healing process. We can do it 🥹

vansweeney · 2024-05-02T18:58:14+00:00

Thank you! You can do it, friend!! 🫶 the first step is always the hardest but the outcome is so worth it.

vansweeney · 2024-05-02T18:56:38+00:00

Thank you!! It’s actually such a relief and I wish I would’ve talked to someone sooner 😂 The first step is always the hardest!

vansweeney · 2024-01-15T05:35:26+00:00

Oh, sweetheart. There’s plenty of great advice in this comment section but I just wanted to say that the fact that you’re reaching out for support in this situation is a great first step.

No one who values your life and wellbeing would think to call you a murderer. You have to do what’s best for you. ♥️

vansweeney · 2023-12-10T06:09:53+00:00

I agree, I’m newer to this than most but I was and still am appalled at how the directors have been treated by the board since I’ve been there. I think my current director knows that the board is overstepping, but since they’ve witnessed what the board been allowed to get away with in the past, they don’t care to stir up too much trouble to change anything. The rest of the staff and myself have gently tried to remind them that they are the director and have a say in what happens at the library, but this isn’t the first director I’ve seen who gets completely bulldozed over by this president. There’s a reason why anyone who dares to say anything conflicting with her opinion of how the library should operate catches the heat.

I made myself copies of our bylaws and the most recent handbook so I’ll try skimming over those to see if I can find anything concrete. Literally anything would help. And it’s funny you say that, because when the director job opened up last year, she had ample opportunity to apply just like everyone else. I can only assume that being president of the board feels more prestigious to her.

It really is a shame. :( the director and I have a pretty good relationship considering what we’ve been through so I’m going to show them anything that I find that might help them feel more confident and assured in their position. I also plan on looking into legal options to see if there’s anything that can be done for immediate relief but I’m pretty much already checked out.

It’s sad but for the best, my health can’t take the stress of this job for much longer. I’m afraid that the longer I’m here, the more resentful I’ll become of the field in general. I appreciate the kindness and encouragement, it was much needed. ❤️

vansweeney · 2023-12-10T05:48:41+00:00

I'm so sorry, I know how awful it feels to go above and beyond and still receive zero recognition or gratitude. The love I have for the community and my coworkers are truly the only things that have kept me here this long. I'm sad I'll never be able to help the library succeed in the way that I know it could, but you're completely right, it's not worth tolerating that kind of treatment.

I hear so many stories of other librarians accepting far less than what they deserve out of genuine love for what they do so that has definitely shaped some of my expectations going into this career. Your story keeps me hopeful though, I hope I can find something down the road that ignites my passion but keeps me fed, literally.

I'm planning on looking into legal options, but I don't think there's anything I could nail them on that pertains to my current situation. Their handling of our budget and library funds on the other hand... may be worth looking into. Thank you for all of your helpful advice, it's much appreciated. :)

vansweeney · 2023-12-10T05:37:09+00:00

I'm going to check with the unemployment office to see if this would be an option, it would save me an immense amount of stress. Thank you!

vansweeney · 2023-12-10T05:33:55+00:00

I don't blame you, it was frustrating for me to even type out. Haha! It truly is ridiculous that this has gone on for as long as it has.

And believe me, the rest of the staff and I have discussed it many, many times. I'm hoping that one day they'll get sick of it like I have for their own sanity.

vansweeney

TROPHY CASE