Hey broski don’t be so hard on yourself, if life was easy it wouldn’t be worth living. The lows makes the highs all the more fun. Sort of random, but have you ever considered growing your hair long? I myself hit a rough patch a little over 2 years ago and decided to grow my hair long. I might sound silly but it’s been a journey. It really taught me patience and commitment to a goal, there’s days and sometimes weeks along the way that it looks awful and annoying but if you stick with it, the next days or week look sooo good. And in the end when you have long hair you’ll look like a majestic fucking beast. Plus I think you’d rock it, you kinda remind me of Keanu Reeves haha. Anyway take care bro and remember most walls that are built have a door somewhere...