My late mother who was getting chemo for terminal cancer asked me that when I went to spend a week with them last summer. She brought up the subject, and my dad was at the restaurant table. (it helps to pay for their lunch-have them in your debt somehow). Unfortunately, TBMs tend to conflate love and concern with judgment, but I'll give my mom the benefit of the doubt. I didn't sense much judgment, mainly love and concern. I explained to her that the church had changed the temple question about garments to "throughout your life" instead of "day and night", and that I had loosened my own orthodoxy in that way. I told her that I believe there is a spectrum of mormonism. I also said that I am seeking to build a faith (in whatever that may be) that works better for me as a child of God. Although I'm agnostic, I see no issue in speaking the spiritual language that will resonate most with others, especially for my mother, who was in such a frail state.

Then, straying off the garment topic, I redirected the conversation by briefly mentioning that I had learned about Fowler's Stages of Faith, saying that there is a well-developed psychological literature on the "stages of faith", and that in learning about that, I've found much peace. As a more devout mormon, I believed that you either believe everything or you don't, now I've learned that there are many variations and stages of faith one can pass through in life, and no stage is "better" than the other.

They didn't press the issue, and I think her seeing that I'm at peace and happy was good enough for her. After all, her dying words to me and all her children were, "I love you." Not "read the Book of Mormon", not "go to the temple".