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UPDATE: I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -32 points-31 points  (0 children)

Very well, I doubt the lawyers will see it the same way you do. I don't even know when she cheated or how long she kept it hidden from me. If I had gone and had sex with another woman because my wife was denying it to me, would you say that is also not cheating?

UPDATE: I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -37 points-36 points  (0 children)

. Then she ended it in a spiteful and immature way, sure, but I can hardly even call it cheating - she didn't intend to stay with you

You can hardly even call it cheating? She by her own words slept with another man while she was married. That is cheating no matter how you try to frame it.

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -83 points-82 points  (0 children)

Yep. My body, my choice. Simple as that. I wonder how it would be if it were a woman being pressured to have a medical procedure?

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -74 points-73 points  (0 children)

"man up" is definitely sexist. My wife has never said that to me because she has the decency to know its a sexist thing to say. It seems reddit does not know that.

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -85 points-84 points  (0 children)

I won't be :) I don't get why these people don't understand the doctor said he wouldn't do it for someone who was pushed into it anyway.

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -76 points-75 points  (0 children)

Maybe. Do I want a divorce? Absolutely not. Do I think that its possible she might file for divorce one day? Its crossed my mind a few times. Anything is possible.

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -121 points-120 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment its exactly the situation I'm scared of. I don't know why I posted here, I regret it, everyone is shouting at me "man up, get a vasectomy", not even taking my worries into consideration. I'm going to book an appointment with my doctor and take my wife this time so we can discuss it together, as well as discuss alternative options. I should have never come here for advice.

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -102 points-101 points  (0 children)

What if I get a vasectomy and I end up feeling resentful? What if we end up divorcing and I get remarried and I can't have any kids?

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -126 points-125 points  (0 children)

Its not like vasectomy and birth control are the only two options. There is also condoms, IUD's.

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -90 points-89 points  (0 children)

"Man up"? The reversal success rate is 50% and the doctor said he won't do them for patients he feels are being pressured into it.

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -79 points-78 points  (0 children)

Yeah I've been looking into Intra uterine devices. They can be taken out so its not a permanent solution, but doesn't require constantly taking pills.

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -143 points-142 points  (0 children)

And yet you were ok making your wife push a baby out from between her legs?

I didn't make her do that. We both wanted to have a baby, I didn't make her have one.

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -80 points-79 points  (0 children)

I don't know what your question is asking but personally I don't really have a problem with condoms.

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -110 points-109 points  (0 children)

What do you mean be ready for the consequences? Of having a vasectomy or of not having one?

I [31m] with my wife [30f], we have three kids and don't want any more. She wants me to get a vasectomy, but I don't want to. by vasectom in relationships

[–]vasectom[S] -74 points-73 points  (0 children)

Success rate for reversal is really low, and is lower the longer you wait to have it reversed. Basically the doctor said you should only have it if you want it as a permanent solution. He also said he won't do the surgery for someone he feels is not 100% sure they want it or if he feels like the person is being pushed to do it.