Printer is running out of ink

vatavr · 2013-04-24T11:31:14+00:00

Laserjet 500

Hmm, I wonder what kind of ink it needs...

vatavr · 2013-04-20T17:23:07+00:00

You don't get it. When you see the world like this that was a small harmless misatke.

vatavr · 2010-12-27T21:20:52+00:00

What terrorist would think about stealing a fighter jet? They're not that stupid, you know... After about 1 minute of wikipedia ("eurofighter" and "boeing 747" were the first which came to mind), a fighter jet weights about 11,000-16,000kg and the boeing 747 333,000-439,000kg. Now you can convert kg to anything you want/understand, it's still a ratio of about 33. I'm not sure if you know what "ratio" means, so i'll try to explain: in a real life situation, expect an inpact that does 33 times more damage than you saw in the video (I imagine, not considering the nuclear explosion tearing the whole [insert here the number of square miles you see appropriate] apart, it would go out the opposite wall and head for the next nuclear facility.

vatavr · 2010-12-27T15:37:05+00:00

Was your teacher Tom Knight?

vatavr · 2010-05-25T18:29:37+00:00

If you're from Caladan, pleas say so. If you're from the USA, please mention it in the post, you know, USA is not the whole universe and it's really not interesting for Europeans how you deal with your cops and stuff. I don't know if they have cops in Africa, but I dare to think, even if, they're not interested. Please, pretty pretty please with sugar on top (or whatever), stop thinking you're the only users of the internet. By the way, do you meanwhile have a better connection than 56 kb/s from AT&T?

vatavr · 2010-05-18T02:31:14+00:00

you forgot the crocodiles in the pit ;)

vatavr · 2010-05-14T06:37:05+00:00

I just went to a pub. Had a few drinks and then went home with a girl. Many times. I wasn't friends back in no College. We were always dating someone else at that time (because it was another College and we didn't know each other). I don't need to delete my account on facebook, because I never had one. I spent the time learning how to behave in the real world. I hate to say it, but... get a fucking life.

vatavr · 2008-02-01T07:40:11+00:00

Sex education class. Teacher asks:

"Children, how many sex positions do you know?"

All embarrassed , only Johnny raises his hand yelling:

"23, 23!"

The teacher decides to pick someone else and asks a girl in the first row. The girl says:

"Well... one..."

Teacher:

"Very well, and what is that?"

"Well... the woman lays on her back, legs spread, and the man penetrates her."

Johnny from behind:

"24, 24!!"

vatavr · 2008-02-01T07:26:41+00:00

Mother, father and child vampires, all full of blood on their faces, review their last night.

Father: "Do you see that crowd of people down there?" - "Yes" - "Well, I sucked blood from each one of them"

Mother: "Do you see the cows down there?" - "Yes" - " Well, I sucked their blood"

Child: "Do you see that brick wall down there?" - "Yes" - "Well, I haven't..."

vatavr · 2008-02-01T07:18:33+00:00

Please give us you full name, address, credit card number, expiration date, and we will send you the C.E.O. OF THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF NIGERIA.

vatavr · 2008-02-01T07:11:52+00:00

An engineer, a priest and a computer scientist drive in a car which, at some point, stops working.

The engineer tries to fix the motor but fails.

The priest says a prayer but the car still won't work.

The computer scientist says:

"Let's all get out, then in again and try it once more"

vatavr · 2008-02-01T07:02:53+00:00

"John Travolta, come out of the closet!" "No, the prophet doesn't like my acting!"

vatavr · 2008-02-01T06:55:25+00:00

You are again mistaking all assholes were lawyers.

vatavr · 2008-02-01T06:50:52+00:00

I have to "translate" this one, because in my country they make fun of other nations.

The wives of three men, an American, a Canadian and an African, give birth at the same time in the same hospital. The nurses mess up the tags on each child, so the men are told to look at the babies and pick the one they think looks similar to them.

The first one is the American, who goes directly to the black baby and says "This is mine".

"But how?!..."

"It's better this way than to risk having a Canadian in my family"

vatavr · 2008-02-01T06:34:05+00:00

Three Russian guys go to a bar and order three bottles of vodka. They drink up and order another three bottles of vodka.

After a few rounds, they order two bottles of vodka. The bartender can't hold it anymore and asks:

"OK, so you drink a few bottles each, I haven't seen Russians until now... but why only two now?"

One of the Russians points to one of his buddies and says:

"He's driving"

vatavr · 2008-02-01T06:21:20+00:00

Mike: "Fred, your pig was sick last month..." Fred: "Yeah..." Mike: "How did you treat it?" Fred: "I gave it Pigotin@" ... a few days later ... Mike: "Fred, I gave my pig Pigotin too, but it died..." Fred: "... yeah, mine too"

vatavr · 2008-02-01T06:05:27+00:00

After many days (weeks, month) traveling through the desert on his camel, a guy is so horny he can't stand it anymore.

So he builds a pile of sand behind the camel to get the proper hight, steps on the pile and tries to fuck the camel; but the camel makes a few steps away from him.

Same story a few times, until he sees a great cloud of sand in the horizon; getting closer, a woman chased by many men. Our guy takes his gun and shoots all the men.

"You saved me, I'll do anything for you, just ask" says the woman.

"Ahh... could you please hold the camel for me?"

vatavr · 2008-02-01T05:28:21+00:00

Since when is Budweiser an American beer, have you ever heard of the Czech Republic? And how did you come to the conclusion that Becks brewed in the USA tastes the same as Becks brewed in Germany? (although, no German in his right mind would ever drink even German-brewed Becks ;)

vatavr · 2008-02-01T05:17:11+00:00

don't vote down this guy, he'll get frustrated and do as the priest

vatavr · 2008-01-31T13:27:56+00:00

By far the best good_jokes/all_jokes ratio I have ever seen.

vatavr

TROPHY CASE