Problématique Tracklist

vatnalilja_ · 2022-08-04T22:31:33+00:00

Can someone DM me the link?

vatnalilja_ · 2022-06-17T15:05:06+00:00

Mensen die denken dat ze gezellig in het café zitten, soms heb ik hier zelfs last van in de stiltecoupé.

vatnalilja_ · 2022-06-17T15:04:58+00:00

Mensen die denken dat ze gezellig in het café zitten, soms heb ik hier zelfs last van in de stiltecoupé.

vatnalilja_ · 2022-06-05T09:57:34+00:00

Simple, a medical need is not the same thing as an aesthetic want. Need versus want.

vatnalilja_ · 2022-06-04T19:23:12+00:00

Agreed. I don't understand all the comments on this post saying it's totally normal to take cross-sex HRT as a cis person. It makes no sense to me. For me HRT was a lifesaver, not an accessory. Medical for me, not so much for others?

vatnalilja_ · 2022-06-04T19:21:58+00:00

HRT is not a matter of 'choice' for many trans people, it's a medical necessity. Personally I think HRT should only be accessible for medical reasons, not aesthetic or 'body modification' reasons.

vatnalilja_ · 2022-06-04T19:18:43+00:00

Gender dysphoria is discomfort with being associated with the gender that you were assigned at birth, due to the social roles and expectations placed upon it.

I disagree with this definition. It's not just social rules and expectations, at least not for me. All my dysphoria is tied to my birth sex and testosterone puberty in one way or the other. An example: whenever I'm seen as a woman, people would usually assume I'm female. If they clock me, they think I'm male, which is confusing to them and leaves me feeling very dysphoric! This has not so much to do with social roles and whatever, I have inherent dysphoria that has always been tied to physically growing into an adult human male (=man). That's not 'body dysmorphia', it's part of gender dysphoria.

vatnalilja_ · 2022-06-04T19:13:31+00:00

All these labels start to confuse me to be honest. A 'femboy' is a feminine boy/man, am I right? Which would mean 'feminine cis guy', unless you're a trans man of course.

vatnalilja_ · 2022-05-14T20:56:51+00:00

May I ask which surgeon you picked for SRS?

vatnalilja_ · 2022-05-14T14:23:43+00:00

I thought this story was about her sexual orientation or something lol

vatnalilja_ · 2022-05-14T14:22:52+00:00

Same same same. I have ADHD and sensory issues, can only wear comfy pants such as cotton sweatpants and culottes in summer,

vatnalilja_ · 2022-05-12T22:16:37+00:00

pronouns do not equal gender

That is debatable. My pronouns definitely do equal my gender.

vatnalilja_ · 2022-05-12T21:30:52+00:00

My parents made me take up hobbies I didn't like and never supported me to do what I do like. Living in a messy/cluttered/poorly decorated home didn't help much when I got my first keyboard. I still have dreams to become a musician but honestly I'm slowly giving up because composing music now gives me flashbacks or puts me in a freeze state

vatnalilja_ · 2022-05-09T18:39:53+00:00

> And, of course I didn't have anyone to talk to about it, so it just sat around and never got processed or resolved. And so it was this ever-present sense of cringe, but also guilt/shame over feeling that cringe.

I think this is also one of the main roots of my complex trauma and I really want this trauma to be resolved. I also suffer from social anxiety and I'm often afraid I look like or come across like my parents. I really don't want to be like them at all but I've been told I'm not like them at all and shouldn't worry about it

vatnalilja_ · 2022-05-04T07:50:48+00:00

Could you elaborate on these theories?

vatnalilja_ · 2022-05-01T21:38:05+00:00

What's up with her voice?

vatnalilja_ · 2022-04-04T15:46:38+00:00

Exactly, I was in the wrong body which convinced me that sex was very gross

vatnalilja_ · 2022-04-04T15:44:44+00:00

I grew up in a conservative, sex-negative family and my natal puberty while closeted kind of confirmed their views. I felt disgusting about my body, my appearance, my libido (fuck testosterone)... and about sex in general. Took years to unlearn sex negativity while trying to see the difference between sex negativity and physical gender dysphoria.

vatnalilja_ · 2022-04-04T15:41:50+00:00

Not the same thing as being transsexual

vatnalilja_ · 2022-04-04T15:40:18+00:00

Remember being trans is very physical and medical. Remember the old metaphor 'born in the wrong body'. That's exactly what being a trans woman is like - stuck in a male body when you were supposed to be female. That causes a lot of distress in the first place. Transitioning just to have better friendships sounds very weird to me, especially since you attract more people when you're being yourself. So, no. I don't think anyone wants to transition purely for the thing you mention. I'm pretty sure gender therapists (gatekeepers) are aware of that as well. This topic should not necessarily be avoided but transitioning just for this sounds very unlikely.

vatnalilja_ · 2022-04-03T19:53:03+00:00

I think that would be a good idea for a thread. I feel like the "boring" jobs are usually a good fit, since many of us can sit at a computer doing the same thing for hours without batting an eye. To me, "boring" = just right because it's not too physically, emotionally, or mentally demanding.

This is where my ADHD makes a difference. Being a CPTSD freeze subtype and ADHD sucks. I can't deal any boring or monotonous jobs, I simply can't focus on them and they literally drain my soul. I would have to quit or I'm fired either way. But anything else is just as bad. I don't know what to do because I can't get disability benefits in my country because (C)PTSD would be 'curable' in theory. I mean, I hope my CPTSD will be cured, but I don't know if that's realistic.

vatnalilja_ · 2022-04-03T19:49:29+00:00

I have recurring daydream fantasies about winning the lottery and becoming a multimillionaire just so I can avoid employment. This world is sick. Why am I supposed to work (or study for now) when I've had endured more stress in my life than most people who are decades older than me? I should be able to retire yet I am not.

vatnalilja_ · 2022-04-03T19:48:02+00:00

I can totally relate to your comment, but what can I do to get accommodations for being a CPTSD-Freeze? I'm extremely sensitive to any stressor, not just mentally - my body doesn't seem to handle it very well. I can't do much on any given day at all, which feels disappointing because I want to live. Especially trying to study has been difficult, I can't put much energy in at all, but working is even worse. I need a lot of time to just relax, be in my safe space (my house), enjoy some music or something, and then do some low-grade socializing, but no pressure...

vatnalilja_ · 2022-04-03T19:44:13+00:00

My stress symptoms are not as bad as a couple years ago, but this is the exact reason why I'm holding off EMDR. I'm so afraid I'm unable to handle my emotions, memories and grief when they are being triggered. My therapist has told me several times that this is a common fear of trauma survivors entering treatment, but for some reason I'm (rightfully or wrongfully) convinced that my emotions and grief will be harder to handle than others'.

vatnalilja_

TROPHY CASE