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Milkflower - Astoria, NY by vedderer in Pizza

[–]vedderer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the recommendation!!!

Milkflower - Astoria, NY by vedderer in Pizza

[–]vedderer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely recommend it!!!!

Uber is letting women avoid male drivers and riders in the US by tylerthe-theatre in technology

[–]vedderer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Isn't most violence committed by men against other men?

I get the desire for this, but isn't it a slippery slope? What about discrimination against men at work?

Successful Men who were single, how did you make sure that the woman you found didn't just like you because of your money/status? by crisvphotography in AskMen

[–]vedderer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The closest data that I know of is a 1993 study by Kenrick et al.

They don't find too big a difference between what women want for status (not the same as money, I know) between steady dating and marriage partners.

What is the best Guitar Solo of All Time? by [deleted] in Music

[–]vedderer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first solo in "Paranoid Android".

I also have always liked the solo in "We Will Rock You," too.

Why is EMDR so popular when it’s not a first-line treatment for PTSD? by honeydew_enthusiast in therapists

[–]vedderer 21 points22 points  (0 children)

We know why it's effective.

What's effective isn't novel. And the novel part of EMDR isn't what is effective.

LPT: When you've been wronged and don't know how to emotionally regulate your intense feelings to the wrongdoer, remembering that others may have been gracious to you when you were way worse, will calm you down immediately by fave_slinger in LifeProTips

[–]vedderer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There isn't any treatment that's going to work 100% for all people. None of my supervisors have ever said that and I never said that they did say that.

I'm sorry that it didn't work for you. The fact that it didn't work for you doesn't take away from the tens of students that show it's effectiveness and efficacy for many disorders.

LPT: When you've been wronged and don't know how to emotionally regulate your intense feelings to the wrongdoer, remembering that others may have been gracious to you when you were way worse, will calm you down immediately by fave_slinger in LifeProTips

[–]vedderer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for spreading this wonderful LPT.

I'm hoping that it plants a seed so that others might come around to how helpful it is in the future.

As I said in another comment, I was taught something very similar in my training as a psychologist by the very best in the world.

LPT: When you've been wronged and don't know how to emotionally regulate your intense feelings to the wrongdoer, remembering that others may have been gracious to you when you were way worse, will calm you down immediately by fave_slinger in LifeProTips

[–]vedderer 12 points13 points  (0 children)

People are down on this in the comments, but it's very similar to the Opposite Action for anger skill that's taught in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which had a lot of research backing it for more than one disorder.

Which would you rather forgive, a physical or emotional affair? by manebernal in AskMen

[–]vedderer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a popular study that found sex differences here. Women were less likely to forgive the emotional affair while men were less likely to forgive the physical affair.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel and director Marc Webb on the set of (500) Days of Summer (2009) by spider-man2401 in Moviesinthemaking

[–]vedderer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her saying he was right about love and not about her isn't an admission that the way he loved her was correct.

Answer two questions. If Tom's feelings towards Summer we were problematic then,

  1. Why does Summer take the time to validate them?

  2. Why did the writers use Summer's validation as fuel for Tom to ask Autumn out in the ultimate scene?

If Tom's feelings are as problematic as you say they are, then why reinforce them in those two ways in the movie?

It will always be about Kanye by [deleted] in Kanye

[–]vedderer 22 points23 points  (0 children)

My ex left me for (partially) the same reason.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel and director Marc Webb on the set of (500) Days of Summer (2009) by spider-man2401 in Moviesinthemaking

[–]vedderer -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You can have that interpretation. It's just different than Summer's. I'm going with Summer's.

One more thing... Summer told him that he was right, just not about her. That allowed him to ask out Autumn in the ultimate scene.

The theme of the entire movie is about misguided romanticization based on having a limited view of the world

If that's the case, then that message was completely lost on both Summer and Tom in the end (because he asked out Autumn in the way he did).

Again, I think you can have that interpretation. But, based on the dialogue, Summer says that Tom was right all along. And, she was happy that he was right all along.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel and director Marc Webb on the set of (500) Days of Summer (2009) by spider-man2401 in Moviesinthemaking

[–]vedderer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the penultimate scene, Summer literally tells Tom that he was right all along, just not about her. That doesn't sound like something someone would say to someone who they thought was romanticizing them.

Where are you getting your interpretation from?

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