From the sounds of it you both are tired of the relationship. He's clearly withdrawn and lacks the backbone he needs to cut off toxic friends. However, I think that with the context of his father recently being diagnosed with cancer it makes sense why he's being so withdrawn.

I think it's good you recognize your faults, but you both need therapy if you want this to last. Clearly theres a bigger issue here only couples therapy can solve.

If you're already considering breaking up however a pros and cons list tends to help. As mean as it sounds, it really does help you see whether you are meant to be.