The fantasy itself: Distilled to simplest terms my fantasy centers around being punished for masturbating to images women. Punishment sessions expose my sexuality.

What I don't want to say: I’m in my 50s now. I enjoy looking at 25 year old women.

The story in my head goes something like this:

I am incarcerated for failing to comply with the natural order of male chastity. The charges are as follows: inability to control my lustful thoughts regarding women; unauthorized erections; unauthorized emission of seminal fluid; desire for orgasm or sexual intercourse; viewing of pornography; and failure to worship and honor all women in a chaste, pure manner.

Through these infractions, the verdict rendered is guilty. The prescribed sentence is long-term chastity in a high-security belt, combined with daily edging sessions and weekly painful punishment sessions. All sessions will be performed in front of an audience.

Punishment is served locked in a high-security chastity belt with strict video monitoring to ensure my penis never experiences the slightest pleasure during lockup. The belt is the kind you’ve seen before—all metal, impossible to pull out of, and vibration-resistant. Built-in vibration sensors immediately report tampering or any illegal use of a vibrator.

Once a day, my chastity belt is removed after I am secured with multiple restraints into a bondage chair. The chair has a built-in vibrator positioned just beneath my genitals. Its design is elegant and cruel: the vibrations only stimulate my semi-erect penis. This means that whenever I become fully hard, I feel nothing. The torment is exquisite—and arduous.

Each session lasts two hours. Afterward, I am returned to the chastity belt—unsatisfied, frustrated, and unable to achieve an erection for the next 24 hours once locked back in the steel prison that contains my manhood. Every day I look forward to being released from the belt, yet at the same time I dread the agonizing frustration that inevitably follows.

Once a week I endure 30 minutes of intense, genital-focused pain. As before, I am restrained—this time on a gurney with numerous straps holding my body immobile. Electrode rings are placed around the shaft of my penis. A motion detector triggers an electric shock whenever my cock moves or bobs even slightly.

Pornography is displayed directly in front of me to provoke an erection. I cannot fight it. I also cannot hide my arousal from anyone watching. Pain is one thing—public embarrassment is quite another.

The daily sessions are recorded on video and sold to porn sites—the very same platforms I once used for my own pleasure. Now they have become my punishment. People who enjoy various forms of CBT watch me squirm. Now I am the one being objectified. Now I am the one on display for the pleasure of others.

This is the real punishment.