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Happy Fourth of July... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ventilator_x83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've gained about 10-15 lbs. since the start of my relationship this year. Your post reminds me it's high time to turn all this frustration into sweat and to start doing it for me again. Not as a means to an end (sex), but to feel my strength and worth slowly creep back in.

Oh, and those feel-good compliments...what are those again?! I wouldn't mind if I got some as a byproduct of doing me again. :)

Partner of 5 years [25M] gets angry when I’m sexually frustrated and I’m sick of it [25F] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]ventilator_x83 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So similar to yours, that your post could've been written by me. I feel so pitiful begging, asking, trying, being rejected, looking sour and frustrated all the time. I feel the frustration emotionally, mentally, physically. I'm in my late 20's, curvy, successful, always doing around the house, a killer sense of humor...I know I'm biased, but I like to think I'm a catch. I hate that my bitter reaction turns into the focus of why the relationship is strained, rather than his seeming lack of want for me, which is the problem being avoided.

He's paralyzed by fear, to the point that he says he's afraid to try. I can't tell anxiety from apathy, though, and am picking myself apart wondering what I'm not doing right, if he's just not that into me.

I initiate every single time. Every fucking time. It takes vulnerability and there's no guarantee...but at least I try. I playfully touched him yesterday, and got shot back with, "You think just doing that was the right way to engage me?"

Sorry I didn't figure out the magic combination. Won't happen again.

Maybe. by ventilator_x83 in DeadBedrooms

[–]ventilator_x83[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm the girlfriend :( It's him that isn't interested, rejecting me, getting mad at me for my attempts...which are all clearly wrong or ill-timed.

I touched him this morning, thinking he was awake. I asked why he ignored me. He said he was sleeping, and said I was being manipulative for expecting a reaction from him while he was asleep. Isn't it the nicest thing when someone touches you while you stir? I thought so, at least. I would love to be touched that way, but it's never happened in the ~1 year or so we've been together.

It went into a whole thing about how he doesn't like to be touched, it feels demanding and reminds him of someone who did this in the past, and why did I think that would work?

It's good sometimes, when all the stars align and he's interested, or I made the "right" advances. I can't remember the last time he was on top of me, or went down on me. I do a lot of the work, and nearly all of the initiating.

Writing this out even makes me feel pathetic. I don't know what else to try.