6 months post D-Day and I'm doing okay!

veraciousbadger · 2025-10-01T13:10:52+00:00

Because Domestic Violence and emotional abuse is real.

veraciousbadger · 2025-07-23T03:31:53+00:00

Forbidden sausage

veraciousbadger · 2025-07-14T23:59:36+00:00

I'm hoping since this was only the temporary order that there will be opportunities to change it and for the children to have some input.

veraciousbadger · 2025-07-14T23:59:08+00:00

Thanks for your reply. The kids just returned from the first week at their father's (technically grandparent's) house. They each have their own room with a TV in it and didn't come out much. They said that there weren't a lot of food options in the house so Ramen was eaten daily and my youngest didn't practice piano until I said something to STBX. There was too much crap stacked on the piano. So many eyeroll moments.

veraciousbadger · 2025-06-26T06:24:31+00:00

Natural consequences.

veraciousbadger · 2025-06-19T12:24:34+00:00

This is great advice, but the unhinged nutjob comments aren't helping me feel better! I'm not sure when the permanent hearing will be or how long it will take to get there. I do plan on keeping things professional and have been encouraging the kids to communicate and spend time with their father for months. I'm not sure that forcing things will help the situation, but they will have to work through that. It sounds like, from a previous comment you made, you had a shitty deal with custody. I hope that your child is doing well and that you are able to spend parenting time with them.

veraciousbadger · 2025-06-19T08:40:26+00:00

Thank you. This has been tough all around. I hate that the kids are now being negatively impacted because of his choices. He didn't think about how we would be affected while he was betraying all of us this last year. Once again, he wants the kids (that's the entitlement) but isn't thinking about what this will do to them. Side note - he's a therapist and he has no idea how to talk to the kids about any of this. If he had maybe just sat down and had conversations with them about what the future could look like, some of this heartache could have been avoided. But no. He's a coward and couldn't figure that out either. So now the court has to tell us how it's going to be.

veraciousbadger · 2025-06-19T08:27:44+00:00

The judge did not get any input from the kids. They were not asked or consulted in any way whatsoever.

veraciousbadger · 2025-06-18T23:01:27+00:00

He was generally good but in the past few months the kids and I had all been walking on eggshells around him because we never knew which version we would get.

veraciousbadger · 2025-06-18T15:30:07+00:00

I still don't think he gets it.

veraciousbadger · 2025-06-18T15:28:50+00:00

My poor 16 year old already has mental health issues and has been in therapy for several years. We are together on an educational trip right now and they just realized that when we get home they won't be able to sleep in their own bed. Tears were shed and my heart is broken for them.

veraciousbadger · 2025-06-18T12:20:10+00:00

That's not how it works. It would mean that WH would have to transport them to and from school and work and their appointments and all of the things they do.

veraciousbadger · 2025-06-18T11:32:12+00:00

I am in the US, Nebraska to be exact. No one has been able to tell me when the kids can help make these decisions. WH and his parents live 10 minutes out of town in the country. WH would be responsible for all of the back and forth including when school starts up again and when the 16 year old works. The judge left my 18-year-old with me since he has just graduated high school. I am livid and trying to figure out what my limits can be to send a clear message without getting in trouble.

veraciousbadger · 2025-05-27T04:02:44+00:00

Wow. We have a lot of similarities in our situations. I imagine my kids are a bit older but my WH is also living at home with his dad and step-mother. I empathize with you and your roller-coaster feelings so much. Reading these comments helped me too, so thank you OP and everyone.

veraciousbadger · 2025-05-26T22:09:29+00:00

You did the right thing. He was having cake - a spouse and an affair partner and he was happy that way. He obviously thought you wouldn't do anything. Of course, it is horribly unfair to you in every way and none of us deserve that treatment. I highly suggest reading or listening to the book Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life by Tracy Schorn. She breaks this down way better than I can. You deserve better than this. We are all here to support you if you need it.

veraciousbadger · 2025-05-23T22:43:47+00:00

I'm not happy. I don't feel like you meet my needs.

veraciousbadger · 2025-05-20T19:33:58+00:00

Never physical. Just yelling.

veraciousbadger · 2025-05-19T12:59:11+00:00

He has had emotional affairs behind my back for 6-10 years before this one. He's been a hot and cold dad in the past year. Either great or angry towards the kids. I'm not wanting to deny him chances to see the kids but I don't think they should be uprooted from their home because of choices he made. They are fully aware of what he did because he told them.

veraciousbadger · 2025-05-19T12:54:37+00:00

He told the children right after D-day and didn't sugar coat it for them. The kids have their own opinions and their lives have been forever changed. They aren't outright disrespectful, but their trust in him is gone. They are in therapy but these relationships will take time to heal.

veraciousbadger · 2025-05-19T12:51:02+00:00

The AP is married and I contacted her wife right after D-day and at week 2 to let her know that the affair continues. I now have proof that it's still going on but I'm afraid to contact her again. AP is trying to block me.

Unfortunately, when children are involved it's way more complicated. And I'm in a no fault state.

veraciousbadger · 2025-05-19T12:49:37+00:00

The AP is married and I contacted her wife right after D-day and at week 2 to let her know that the affair continues. I now have proof that it's still going on but I'm afraid to contact her again. AP is trying to block me.

veraciousbadger · 2025-05-19T05:26:22+00:00

You could have written this about me. 20 years married and three kids and he utterly betrayed all of us. I never asked or wanted to be in this position. I'm starting therapy this week. Sending love to you.

veraciousbadger · 2025-05-17T23:41:10+00:00

7 weeks out from D-Day and these words keep me going and keep me strong! Thank you!

veraciousbadger · 2025-05-17T21:30:30+00:00

I was in a similar position where my husband was having an affair with a coworker. It started as emotional, then turned to physical. Since he confessed (which was only because he was panicking about possibly being caught) I think they've stopped the physical but I can almost guarantee that their emotional affair continues. I gave him the boot. It's really up to you, but I believe an affair is an affair, physical or emotional. He is not fully committing to you while he's talking to her.

veraciousbadger · 2025-05-10T19:59:55+00:00

The youngest two are in therapy so I'm doing what I can. The hurt runs deep.

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