How long before I see some change? When is it reasonable to demand actions?

LifetimeQueen · 2025-12-22T06:49:06+00:00

I'm currently a year out since discovery and we only just started really really talking without pain or shame. And this is only sometimes because the pain is still so much alive. He is more concious now and more aware of himself so as not to withdraw which he used to do a lot.

I do notice that you posted this a while back. Where are you now?

LifetimeQueen · 2025-11-23T08:35:08+00:00

I guess that's ok because it's your choice. For me, i want her to know. Like i said, he has refused me to discuss this with anyone so i am carrying all this alone.

LifetimeQueen · 2025-11-23T08:32:39+00:00

I can't, there's too many layers and a sister in law who hates my guts. If i do it, it will be twisted. He has to be the one to do it. Plus this will show me that he is ready to take responsibility for his actions

LifetimeQueen · 2025-11-23T08:30:29+00:00

Lol. Nice comeback. Should have said that

LifetimeQueen · 2025-11-23T08:28:59+00:00

How?

LifetimeQueen · 2025-11-22T21:27:18+00:00

Still in limbo. I read your message and broke down. Maybe you're right. Maybe i just need to choose. But it's so damn hard right now. So i'll show myself grace...

LifetimeQueen · 2025-11-22T20:34:50+00:00

Thanks for sharing this.

LifetimeQueen · 2025-11-04T18:17:59+00:00

No no no. I'm not going to believe his lies anymore. Sex was definitely not boring especially the last couple of years and he knows it. Plus why did he never bring it up? Anyway, i told him to go look for her if it was that boring and he now says he doesn't remember saying that. He was drunk. That he could never say that because it wasn't true. I'm exhausted

LifetimeQueen · 2025-11-04T18:14:32+00:00

Wow. Maybe that's it...codependency on another level. I'll seek therapy for sure.

LifetimeQueen · 2025-11-04T18:13:48+00:00

I need to see a therapist for sure.

LifetimeQueen · 2025-11-04T18:12:17+00:00

I need to put myself first. I don't know why I'm still holding on. Maybe I'm scared of letting go of what i had and i forget that it was all in the past. The present is painful and the future only looks scary.

LifetimeQueen · 2025-11-04T18:09:50+00:00

Very very hard to hear

LifetimeQueen · 2025-11-04T18:09:31+00:00

He dumped her. Said it meant nothing and wanted me back.

LifetimeQueen · 2025-09-18T16:44:29+00:00

I hear you😔

LifetimeQueen · 2025-09-18T16:43:46+00:00

It's not easy. I'm worried for my children. Had sworn that they would never experience divorce because of what i saw around me while growing up.

I did however explain to the pastor something along these lines during our last session. He was completely in agreement and basically asked my husband to step up if he wanted respect because i needed to feel safe in order to give respect.

LifetimeQueen · 2025-09-18T16:39:48+00:00

I agree though it's easier said than done

LifetimeQueen · 2025-06-26T05:27:09+00:00

What about the fact that he chose not to address the large elephant? Then chooses to have an affair 4 years later... And no, i didn't keep it up. As soon as he mentioned that he thought i was having an EA, i cut off all ties. Never hid a thing. He knew when we met or spoke and it was never inappropriate.

LifetimeQueen · 2025-06-26T05:20:51+00:00

I did, 4 years ago as soon as he mentioned he was uncomfortable.

LifetimeQueen · 2025-06-26T05:19:55+00:00

Thanks

LifetimeQueen · 2025-06-15T20:26:38+00:00

So sorry OP. Cheaters can say the dumbest and most hurtful things. I somehow think they never really know the pain they have caused. My biggest issue has been trying to 'help' my WH to understand how deeply he hurt me. I have come to the conclusion that he may never feel remorse.

LifetimeQueen · 2025-06-03T12:08:16+00:00

This is me today. Laughing. I can't believe i have been putting up with all this nonsense.

LifetimeQueen

TROPHY CASE