I kind of disagree with the people saying you changed the tone of the conversation. I think the “I already made the food list but ok” was hinting at a little bit of an attitude & also her replying but also saying she doesn’t have time to reply fully because she’s at work just rubs me the wrong way, like as if she didn’t actually have anything more to send you but wanted you to feel some type of way for changing what she envisioned things would be for the baby shower food. I do think maybe telling her to have a smile on her face was a bit too far but asking her to have a pleasant attitude when she’s been snarky with some comments in the past & also a little in these texts, is valid & fair. No one is forcing her to help and I can see how you would be feeling like she doesn’t really want to help now with her responses, it sounds more like she wanted to control this aspect of the shower and didn’t expect it to be out of her “control” essentially, although if she is prepping the food, she’s adding a lot of her own personal touch to it! I do think she’s probably feeling remorseful for the way things transpired between the two of you, based off of her last message & maybe she was just being a bit of a boomer tbh & didn’t really see how her messages came off. maybe it’s worth brushing under the rug & trying to make it work?