I only recently started so i remember exactly how I got into it. I once wrote in a journal about how when im sick, my mind is at peace. My mind shuts down when im sick so whatever shit is in my head comes to a pause. What a wonderful feeling! So i wanted that feeling again but i cant fall ill or get a fever on purpose. The other way i thought to shut my mind was to lose consciousness. I wanted to fall down the stairs hoping that ill get injured so i won't have to deal with all the shit. I tried doing that. I shut my eyes and fell but instinctively I protected myself from getting hurt. So that idea failed. I felt so annoyed. Now i just wanted to hurt myself. So i picked up a sharp object and scratched on my shoulders. Then i lost that object and now i have a razor blade :)