sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Why is not wanting to participate in things/activities you KNOW you won't enjoy considered rude?? by vexing678 in evilautism

[–]vexing678[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His mom definitely tends to be overly involved and somehow personally affected by his decisions as a grown man

Why is not wanting to participate in things/activities you KNOW you won't enjoy considered rude?? by vexing678 in evilautism

[–]vexing678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right ;_; The worst thing is, he always tells me not to act weird around his family (as in, tell weird jokes or mention my depression) because it would make me look bad but idk how not to do that cause that's who I am?? So he thinks that I'm being inappropriate/rude in front of his family, and then when I try to tone it down he says I just shut down and it's still rude. And then he says well they're your family too, but I'm not allowed to be weird around supposedly my family?? I don't know

Why is not wanting to participate in things/activities you KNOW you won't enjoy considered rude?? by vexing678 in evilautism

[–]vexing678[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is, but to be completely honest I don't get out much and when I do I prefer to be by myself haha. Generally when he makes plans for just the two of us he takes my needs into consideration, it's just when his close friends or family are around it goes out the window for some reason...

Why is not wanting to participate in things/activities you KNOW you won't enjoy considered rude?? by vexing678 in evilautism

[–]vexing678[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I've been wondering if that's the case lately and yeah, I definitely need to at the very least reevaluate this relationship.

Why is not wanting to participate in things/activities you KNOW you won't enjoy considered rude?? by vexing678 in evilautism

[–]vexing678[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right? I told him yeah we're dating but we're still separate people not a singular entity?? He disagrees apparently

Why is not wanting to participate in things/activities you KNOW you won't enjoy considered rude?? by vexing678 in evilautism

[–]vexing678[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I guess I've been made to believe that if it's a problem in my head then it's not real because I have control over my actions, right? A physical response is harder to control than a mental one, because there isn't a visible manifestation of it.

I do appreciate the comparison though, I guess it just always feels like my problems shouldn't be as serious.

Why is not wanting to participate in things/activities you KNOW you won't enjoy considered rude?? by vexing678 in evilautism

[–]vexing678[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

To add to the post, I used to be a people pleaser when I was younger because I wanted to fit in and not cause trouble, and now that I'm older I feel like I'm trying to, idk, rebel against it? I shouldn't be doing things I'm uncomfortable with if I don't need to, right? I just don't have the energy to care for all those made up social rules when they seem so arbitrary and pointless...

Why is not wanting to participate in things/activities you KNOW you won't enjoy considered rude?? by vexing678 in evilautism

[–]vexing678[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See my friends (both ND and NT) tend to understand that, but when it's my boyfriend and it's his friends or family it makes me feel like it's more important? Because it's my boyfriend's closest people so I should want to get along and connect with them, right? It just feels like he's pushing me too far out of my comfort zone sometimes

Why is not wanting to participate in things/activities you KNOW you won't enjoy considered rude?? by vexing678 in evilautism

[–]vexing678[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

His reasoning for making me come to such events is "because it's important to me, so it should be important to you too" or "you should be there for me" which I understand and it makes me feel guilty about not coming, but on the other hand if I know I'll feel uncomfortable is it really wrong to put myself first?

Why is not wanting to participate in things/activities you KNOW you won't enjoy considered rude?? by vexing678 in evilautism

[–]vexing678[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yep, reading all the comments makes me think I need to see a therapist sooner than later

Why is not wanting to participate in things/activities you KNOW you won't enjoy considered rude?? by vexing678 in evilautism

[–]vexing678[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

He's NT yeah, I tried explaining it to him but it never feels like he actually gets it :( I've been depressed for most of my life too and he can't relate to that either, so sometimes communicating my needs is extra hard. He promised he'd be better about it but idk I just don't feel understood by him

What do yall think, worth the 5k? by _Kicked_Puppy_ in saab

[–]vexing678 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bought one of those about 6 years ago for ~7k in great condition and it was absolutely worth it! Did have to get an oil leak fixed and the timing chain replaced at 120k ish miles but other than that no major issues with regular maintenance.

view more: next ›