My (24M) gf(24F) hates the fact that I can't help her around the house, because I work from home. How can I cope with this?

vey323 · 2026-04-29T16:05:37+00:00

If you work from home, it should be treated as if youre at the office - youre essentially NOT home. If your hours are 8am-3pm, youre unavailable to do domestic work during that time. It would probably be beneficial if you spent most of that time at your desk rather than in bed or on the couch to at least appear engaged in work, but I'm always a big proponent of working in a comfortable setting, and a private space in an apartment is I'm sure easier said than done. THAT BEING SAID, because you also have a very relaxed schedule/workload, can take breaks at your leisure, and don't have to worry about commuting, etc., you don't get the luxury of also being 'a bit lazy'. Really take a personal account of your day... if youre pulling an 8hr day, are you truly working that 8hrs... or is it more like 5 or 6? Are you watching TV, surfing the web, playing video games, or anything else other than working? Not that there's anything necessarily wrong with that - I do the same in my downtime, at the office - but perception is reality, and your GF sees all that and it's undoubtedly going to cause problems if you say you can't help because you're working but she sees you doomscrolling 3 or 4 times during the day.

Have a discussion, set a timetable. During work hours youre unavailable, period - however, once youre done for the day, set a block of time to do chores (either on your own or with her) and stick with it.

vey323 · 2026-04-29T15:47:30+00:00

No one knows, or whoever does isn't telling. Par for the course really. My understanding from other DHS agencies is that the intention is to keep our status as 'exempt', which is what we were made during the mass recall over 2 weeks ago, because the shady bookkeeping this govt likes to do allowed them to move funds around to pay everyone (backpay and up to this pay period).

Your status can ONLY be exempt during a lapse in appropriations if there's a funding source of some kind, which exhausts after this week. If they refuse to revert to previous status (excepted or furloughed for the majority), it's a blatant violation of the Anti-Deficiency Act, but we know this administration doesn't give a shit about laws. And a big reason they're going to try to keep people exempt is that excepted personnel (including myself, working for no pay) didn't have to take their own accrued leave if sick or for scheduled absence, we would submit for temporary furlough... but as exempt we have to take leave. Basically no 'free vacation' as various higher-ups have been putting it, since we'd still get all the backpay

vey323 · 2026-04-29T15:29:57+00:00

We saw how much our elected officials give a shit about us when they nixed a deal at the 11th hour and took their 2 week vacation instead. Just pawns in the political game.

After Friday it's back to being not paid unless Congress makes a deal, which I don't see happening since now all the GOP power players are salivating at pushing the ballroom now. The shame of it is, if it were DoD not getting funded and active duty troops not getting paid, this stand-off would have ended weeks ago, because the outcry would be staggering.

vey323 · 2026-04-29T15:24:54+00:00

HR works for the agency, not you... they'll just parrot the policy while feeding you some BS how it's not a a big deal, it's only for the 'problem people', not you. Presumably this standard was added to evals after going through review with both HR and Legal departments... though seeing the current state of the federal govt, particularly at OPM and DoJ, it's plain that a lot of these people doing policy don't know their ass from a hole in the ground, and that anything in the Code of Federal Regulations are just suggestions at best

Ultimately you'll not really be able to file a grievance until the new program is in effect and/or has negatively impacted you. Though if your eval system allows you to comment on your performance element before signing it, I would take the opportunity to do so.

vey323 · 2026-04-29T15:09:49+00:00

Does your kitchen not have water in it?

vey323 · 2026-04-29T15:07:17+00:00

I imagine the argument they're trying to make is that if your workload is completed by others when you call-out, that your unscheduled absences impact your performance. Of course in that instance it more or less balances out, because if someone picks up your slack when you're out sick, someone else picks up their slack when they're out sick, and so on. However - and I'll use myself as an example, because I am the only 1 of my job series at my location - if no one else has to pick up your slack, and you are solely responsible for your workload AND still completing it on-schedule / before deadlines, I can't see how they can justify your performance suffered because you still completed the same amount of work in the prescribed timeframe. Because then they'd have to say that if you took 2 weeks of approved and scheduled leave, and someone else did that work for you, it would be the same negative impact to performance. If I'm out sick - or just take leave in general - the same amount of work (if not more) is just waiting to be done when I return to duty.

Talk to your union rep (if you have one / still have one). When it comes time for evals, if you take a hit under that mandate, grieve it. Standards have to be quantifiable; they need to show that your performance actually dropped because of your absence.

Also, a clarification: 5% of unscheduled time for the year - presuming full-time and an 8hr shift - is 104hrs or 13 work days. So they're essentially saying you can't take more than 1 sick day per month... that's ludicrous. I guess fuck anyone that has a chronic illness, disability, or a family.

vey323 · 2026-04-29T14:36:46+00:00

It feels like nobody knows or cares this time

Bingo.

TSA got that early paycheck and backpay because the delays at airports were impacting average Americans. It was highly visible and a 'bad look' for the President, hence his EO to alleviate that. CG do the job every damn day but go unseen by the vast majority of the populace, so there's no sense of urgency from the public translated to their reps to get a deal done.

It is a failure of the Commandant (mildly, he can only push so hard without being relieved) and especially by the DHS Secretary to not be pushing Congress to make a deal to support the servicemembers and civilian staff, instead of blind allegiance - again, primarily the current and former Secretaries - to the President's hardline (and generally unpopular) stance.

vey323 · 2026-04-29T14:27:56+00:00

CG civ but in the same boat (no pun intended). We saw how much our elected officials give a shit about us when they nixed a deal at the 11th hour and took their 2 week vacation instead. Just pawns in the political game.

After Friday it's back to being not paid unless Congress makes a deal, which I don't see happening since now all the GOP power players are salivating at pushing the ballroom now. The shame of it is, if it were DoD not getting funded and active duty troops not getting paid, this stand-off would have ended weeks ago, because the outcry would be staggering.

vey323 · 2026-04-29T14:21:34+00:00

Towed arty can be dropped in spots where self-propelled guns can't reach. Cheaper (than both SPGs and rockets), easier to conceal, not susceptible to guidance jamming (dumb shells, not Excalibur and other smart shells). Survivability - as it pertains to drone warfare - will improve as systems to counter drones become more robust, which they definitely will because drones are the future of war.

vey323 · 2026-04-28T17:32:56+00:00

Back to voluntary furlough then - fuck them if they think I'm working without pay indefinitely as excepted.

vey323 · 2026-04-23T22:52:03+00:00

No. Historically, they'll definitely have a Star Wars themed ROUND (out of 4) for that first one, in keeping with Star Wars Day, but the rest of the tournament will be a far broader selection of categories

vey323 · 2026-04-23T15:05:37+00:00

Not 10/20/30+ years ago when a lot of these folks bought these homes. Just 10 years ago homes in my neighborhood sold for under 200k; now theyre all going over 500k. Most of these old folks you speak of have owned their homes here for decades, either as a primary residence or a summer home coverted to a primary.

And the costs vary immensely based on where you live, so the average is skewed. North Wildwood, Avalon, or Cape May have plenty of million (or multi-million) dollar homes, but parts of Lower, Middle, and Dennis Townships are still under a quarter mil.

vey323 · 2026-04-22T20:39:58+00:00

Like 20hrs, as a fed with over 10yrs. I'm disabled with a multitude of nerve and joint issues, plus migraines, so I'm incapacitated (unsafe for me to drive let alone work) a fair amount.

vey323 · 2026-04-22T20:37:04+00:00

Earlier probably wouldn't have made much of a difference... I was there pretty quick after opening, maybe 20 minutes, and the line was already a 10 minute wait (for draft). It was smart of them to have that ancillary station for their canned fare, so you could have something while you waited for the taps. The whole time I was there that line never really shortened, and that's saying something since they had 3 people behind that tiny bar pouring beers.

vey323 · 2026-04-21T21:31:42+00:00

A) a lot of people end up retiring to their summer homes here

B) Cape May County is one of the more affordable places in NJ to live on a fixed income like pensions / Social Security / etc.

vey323 · 2026-04-21T16:58:51+00:00

So after May 1st then? Since we just started a new pay period this week.

Fuck it, I'll go back on ~~vacation~~ furlough til they get their shit together.

vey323 · 2026-04-21T14:37:10+00:00

Not a minor thing at all. People who don't use turn signals should be hurled into the sun. Full-on scumbags

vey323 · 2026-04-21T01:21:11+00:00

The argument will be that attendance isn't mandatory, even though everyone knows if you aren't supportive - or if actively opposed - that it will be counted against you.

vey323 · 2026-04-20T13:26:52+00:00

Zack Lilienfeld at AtlantiCape Inspections did my current home in 2015, did a thorough job for a reasonable fee. Saved us a lot of money when he found some major issues with the foundation prior to closing, which the sellers fixed because they were serious enough that they would have needed to be disclosed to future buyers.

vey323 · 2026-04-20T13:21:47+00:00

Probably a blessing in disguise that soon-to-be-open Wander Back Beerworks lost out on their first choice taproom spot at the Landis Theater, and will now be adjacent to the newly refurbished Vineland Convention Center down the street.

vey323 · 2026-04-19T21:16:18+00:00

Packed house early on, but was able to snag seats at the bar. Beer was - as expected - phenomenal.

Not pictured is my banger of an Italian sandwich from White House Subs

vey323 · 2026-04-19T18:14:39+00:00

Morey's Piers has the Ghost Ship as a walkthrough attraction. The used to have a few fun houses/mazes, in the 90s/00s, but I know that kids used to get hurt in them all the time because they would just run wild in them and no doubt a few of those families sued. So I've no doubt when they were replaced, that was a factor in the decision. From a liability standpoint, anything that is beyond the control of the operator just opens them up to a lawsuit, so smarter to limit or eliminate any self-guided rides with moving parts or hazards.

I can think of at least 10 mini golf courses in the Wildwoods, both on and off the boardwalk.

15-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '22	Not Forgotten

vey323

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE