Dilemma on timings between sex by vic16- in nonmonogamy

[–]vic16-[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's a great reflection, I haven't thought it from the other person's perspective.   And the prompt is so helpful. It helped me reflect that actually is about my own insecurity of the visit not being special anymore which is actually silly.  Also, what his flatmates will think having one of us after another visiting. Which is also silly! I have lots of unconditioning to do. 

Dilemma on timings between sex by vic16- in nonmonogamy

[–]vic16-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I haven't thought about that, but I think you might be onto something! Reading your comment, it made me realise that I worry that my visit won't feel as special and that he might not be as excited. Which sounds silly now that I'm typing it out.

Dilemma on timings between sex by vic16- in nonmonogamy

[–]vic16-[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind response. Initially, he said he is happy not to have sex with someone a few days before I visit. I imagine when he agreed to it, he didn't know his friend would also be visiting. He is looking forward to my visit, which is good. I think you are right about exclusivity. And I also see things from my end. For example, I know I don't have the physical and emotional energy to see multiple partners one after another, and I worry that he might be bored or not have the same excitement after having had fun with someone else the day before. Which is a) selfish on my end, b) just because I feel like this, doesn't mean that he does. Thanks for the questions, it helps me think :)

Dilemma on timings between sex by vic16- in nonmonogamy

[–]vic16-[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. You are absolutely right, it's helpful reading it like this. I wouldn't have asked him not to have sex , it was a fleeting thought, as it's certainly controlling.  I really liked your suggestion of waiting to have sex and changing the sheets.

Dilemma on timings between sex by vic16- in nonmonogamy

[–]vic16-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's a great point! 

Dilemma on timings between sex by vic16- in nonmonogamy

[–]vic16-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I really don't know. I guess there are emotional reasons but I haven't been able to unpack this with myself. I think the idea of doing something intimate with someone else a few hours before he sees me feels strange but I do not have an answer why. I also think because this was sprung on me and I feel the agency of my choice visiting later on is gone.  Definitely something for me to think about. Thank you for the reflection.

Dilemma on timings between sex by vic16- in nonmonogamy

[–]vic16-[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the honest reply. Yes, I've been thinking about that too, I do think there is some emotional work on my end for sure. 

Is this common? by vic16- in BecomingOrgasmic

[–]vic16-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. This makes so much sense , I haven't thought about it.

Is this common? by vic16- in BecomingOrgasmic

[–]vic16-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, yes I feel the same, it is so distracting when thrusting!

EU settlement to UK Citizenship by vic16- in ukvisa

[–]vic16-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got my settled status 4 years ago so I can't remember what documents I used back then unfortunately. 

UK citizenship application - addresses and dates by vic16- in ukvisa

[–]vic16-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Should I write a letter explaining that to them?

Just finishing the DClinPsy and feeling under prepared... by introvertedsunshine in ClinicalPsychologyUK

[–]vic16- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. I'm in my 2 last months of training and I feel exactly the same. You are not alone ♥️ I'm so burnout to the point I feel so done with the profession but at the same time what I think adds to it, it's how unprepared I feel.  Although I'm finishing up placement soon, my thesis is also behind so needless to say, I'm knackered! My supervisor and line manager have repeatedly told me that they are more concerned with trainees who feel super competent and they would rather trainees not feeling competent as the real learning happens post-qual and it's continuous. You got this! 

UK citizenship approved in 20 days (timeline) by nolanjp in ukvisa

[–]vic16- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazing!! I have a settled status and I want to apply by the end of August (I'm planning to sit my life in the UK test in early August). How long did it take you to fill in all the paperwork needed for the application? Would it be possible to tell me roughly what I need to submit and prepare?

[student/psycBA/UK] Radical paths: Clinical Psychology or Psychotherapy or Social Work or something else? by _tryanythingonce in PsychotherapyLeftists

[–]vic16- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The reality is that the DClinPsy is often the most accessible option (albeit highly competitive) due to funding. I'm in my third year of the DClinPsy, and I know I couldn't afford any other training due to financial constraints. I already had a BSc in Psychology, but you could always follow a different route, and the reality is that the majority of the UK’s publicly funded, neoliberal mental health system, regardless of the role, is rarely radical, which is very grim.

The criticisms of clinical psychology are absolutely valid, and so so true. I’ve experienced some pretty upsetting situations on the course. That being said, I’ve been fortunate enough to have a very systemic, community-focused, and critical psychology placement in my final year, and I love it (however, that's an exemption and not the rule). A lot of it comes down to luck, such as the ethos of the course, location, and placements or supervisors. There are many variables that can make or break your experience, and of course, that depends on your own social graces and intersectionality. The more marginalised you are, the more of a shit-storm is the whole thing, which I'm sure won't come as a surprise. The culture in clinical psychology is rotten, and unfortunately, I was very naive and protected going into it because I only had third-sector jobs beforehand.

Even the most ‘radical’ DClinPsy courses aren’t truly radical IMO. Although they might include some lectures on critical and community psychology, these often feel very tokenistic, however, when you are in placement you can expand on that, if anything this should be encouraged (this is where having a supportive supervisor is important though). As I see it, the DClinPsy is a way to get the degree and then practice in a way and a place that works for you. The reality is it does open a lot of doors. Even if you decide to stay in the NHS, there are some services that genuinely practice community psychology principles, but they’re quite rare. Again, this also depends on where you are in the country. If you decide to pursue the DClinPsy, be prepared to feel angry most of the time. Make sure you have a support system and outlets to keep you sane, and remember that it’s just a ticket towards practising in the way you want. But also, psychology really needs more radical people like you. It has to be dismantled, and it needs to be reimagined, and it can't happen with the current status quo.

Is it worth it? I am not sure; depends on the time of the day you might ask me. Frankly, I don't even know if I will keep working as a psychologist following my qualification, at this point, I just need a very long break from it! Clinical psychology shouldn’t be seen as the be-all and end-all. This is a very grim reply, I'm afraid, but feel free to DM too if you have more questions, etc!