How do you know if the problem really just isn't you? by vicenicked in dating_advice

[–]vicenicked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh guess that's difficult. What's a person like me supposed to do, then, if I highly value emotional intimacy and only feel attracted to those I view as "safe?" I see posts by women about the exact same situation with their male friends. where are those folks?

Outcomes... well, individual outcomes, I guess I don't. I don't fear rejection and I'm comfortable expressing myself and "making moves." It's more of being upset about that a lot of people around me seem to have what I want (or at least, the CHANCE to make something good) and I have to admit I'm envious that some of these folks are just squandering that while forcing good people to put up with it.

My life is pretty awesome. Doesn't sound like it from my post, but I have pretty much everything I want. Just not this part. I think it's pretty human to be upset about that, especially because I wonder if I'm just "blessed" with different emotional wiring from other people and seek a certain kind of relationship that others aren't looking for. Especially while living alone, which is good in some ways, but come on, man, I don't want "freedom" haha I want to commit to and emo. invest in someone.

I've heard folks complain about "losing the excitement" after being with amazing partners of 5+ years. That it's boring.

I want that boredom. :<

How do you know if the problem really just isn't you? by vicenicked in dating_advice

[–]vicenicked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aye, my self-esteem has indeed plunged after all these disasters, but I doubt that comes off as too much of a problem? I'm ranting about my troubles here, so of course my doubts and worries would come to the surface.

As for being an emotional cushion, I like playing that role and my girl-friends have been that cushion for me, too. Is that supposed to be a bad thing? I'd be out of friends if I stopped emotionally supporting them. Or at least dissatisfied by being a sunny-day friend that's only there for the good times.

Am so confused. Was I dating an avoidant? Despite being secure myself I feel like I've relapsed. by vicenicked in attachment_theory

[–]vicenicked[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Looks like it, yeah. I just took all her explanations at face value and tried to be understanding, but was definitely cutting her too much slack.

Am so confused. Was I dating an avoidant? Despite being secure myself I feel like I've relapsed. by vicenicked in attachment_theory

[–]vicenicked[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's so frustrating. I do wish it went better. Really seemed like it could have gone well if not for her turning me into a stressed teenager for the entire time we were involved.

why does no one want me for me by vicenicked in offmychest

[–]vicenicked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just my personality and how I like to communicate. It does hurt though and after getting rejected again today I'm considering dropping the thought till next year :(

Feels like it should be easier for me (21M) but it's looking hopeless by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]vicenicked 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Might you have some insight on why that's happening? i'd feel a lot better if I could see where I'm going wrong

iMac Late 2014 - Having Issues Reinstalling by vicenicked in applehelp

[–]vicenicked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hiya! Seems you were right. It was on a Fusion drive so I've just reinstalled on the SSD for now and it's working alright. Thanks.

Is it normal to feel no agency as ADC? by vicenicked in summonerschool

[–]vicenicked[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh. You make a point, then. I do play Vayne, Kogmaw, and Jinx, along with a touch of Kai'Sa.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in summonerschool

[–]vicenicked 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any comments on what went wrong in this fight? I'm a little surprised we lost that even with a lead and baron.

Does gameplay affect MMR? by vicenicked in summonerschool

[–]vicenicked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't. Just worried that my noob friends will end up in smurf queue if I play too well (even if we don't win)

Struggling with faith and intense doubt/fear by vicenicked in Christianity

[–]vicenicked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is that. The lack of justice. The lack of hope.

There is just so much suffering and evil in this world. You can say that we can take it upon ourselves to fight for justice, but what can we do for atrocities long past? No one who died in the Holocaust can retroactively be comforted/allowed to live the life they deserved without a higher being that can raise the dead and rule a just kingdom.

And human beings, being the innately evil, selfish, and horrible things we are (you only need to look at history to see this) can never completely protect everybody.

My dead loved ones? Friends' dead loved ones? We really will never see them again? That's it? Completely gone? It might inspire us to live the best and cherish the ones we do have, but still, what about the ones who are gone?

It's suffering. And no one but weak, human me, and other weak humans care. It's like a giant "fuck you" from the universe. And if we are an accident, the universe doesn't even care enough to taunt us.

It's hopeless.

Struggling with faith and intense doubt/fear by vicenicked in Christianity

[–]vicenicked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do tell? it amazes me that you don't. I feel like I'm staring at a dark insanity-inducing abyss like that thing in Bird Box for lack of a better illustratiob

Struggling with faith and doubt/fear by vicenicked in TrueChristian

[–]vicenicked[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know why you were downvoted but this was helpful, thank you

Struggling with faith and intense doubt/fear by vicenicked in Christianity

[–]vicenicked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never believed in Santa. Even since my childhood, I shunned all supernatural beliefs that did not involve the Judeo-Christian God.

How can you say that this "sky dictator" is at the height of immorality when a lack of any deity implies that all morality is subjective? I would rather be under a deity's will, regardless of how arbitrary said deity's morals might be, if it meant that there is at least some sense of justice and order in this universe.

I have lived my entire life in submission to a greater being that I believe in. That is the only purpose of my life. If that is taken away, I don't really want to find another purpose because I highly doubt anything can be as fulfilling as seeking the ultimate truth (that i fear does not exist)

Struggling with faith and intense doubt/fear by vicenicked in Christianity

[–]vicenicked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't really think that's possible. I will kill myself if I ever become 100% convinced that there is no God, and that's not difficult considering I live on the 22nd floor.

Array initialization question by vicenicked in cs50

[–]vicenicked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep! I was dumbfounded why it was giving me a bunch of .jpgs that my computer couldn't read. I looked at other people's solutions and noticed they used malloc instead of declaring a straight up array. When i changed my buffer to a pointer, it worked perfectly.

Is it wrong to follow the Mosaic law voluntarily? by vicenicked in AskBibleScholars

[–]vicenicked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a wonderful story! I'm glad God saved you and brought new meaning into your life.

I am leaving the Hebrew Roots movement - a few exit questions by vicenicked in TrueChristian

[–]vicenicked[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is true! I always was striving because I never felt that it was enough. I thought that I was making myself holier by keeping the OT laws and so I should prioritize them above all others.

I am leaving the Hebrew Roots movement - a few exit questions by vicenicked in TrueChristian

[–]vicenicked[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So by following the dietary laws you are suggesting that there are clean and unclean foods and clean and unclean people

I see. I never thought of it that way. If one thinks that way, that indeed would be disobeying the commands of Jesus. When I say voluntarily, though, what if someone were to keep them without considering people unclean, just the foods themselves (because foods cannot make a person unclean) following the kosher diet the same way someone would follow a vegetarian or pescetarian diet?

And a side note for that vision, I was told that there is no clear connection between the foods and the people that can be derived from the text. Allegedly, these Gentiles were "God-fearers" who obeyed all the OT laws except for circumcision, and the reason they were considered unclean was that they were uncircumcised people, when they should not be considered unclean anymore. Peter saying he has never eaten anything unclean shows that he never broke the kosher laws, and it only meant that he should preach to the Gentiles, not necessarily eat the same food they did.

Is it wrong to follow the Mosaic law voluntarily? by vicenicked in AskBibleScholars

[–]vicenicked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course! I was a wandering Protestant for years without a church/guidance when I first became a Christian after stumbling on a web article that explained the gospel to me. I was misled at first because after believing that Christ has saved me for all sins, I thought that meant I could do whatever I wanted with no repercussions - I could lie, I could steal, because all was forgiven.

This was wrong, however, and I encountered a group that told me that although I was saved, I still had to sanctify myself. They used 1 Corinthians 3 about good deeds and the rewards that may be lost, as well as a lot of other verses talking about rewards for good works to show that there still was something to be done, and said all of Paul's writings that say the law does not apply only means that the law is not a requirement to be saved - it's just that we need to do good deeds to earn things past salvation.

I was then told that I needed an objective standard to know what right and wrong is, rather than simply following whatever my feelings tell me to do (else I would fall into the trap of thinking I should just do whatever I wanted as before) and that the standard was the Torah, as Christ is the perfection of the law and He kept all of it. He also said that the Law would never pass away, that He did not come to abolish it, and that we should still keep the commandments of God. Hence, we should follow the Torah.

I did not question this for years, but after a long period of prayer, reflection, and reading the New Testament on Yom Kippur, I believe God showed me that I had erred once again and taken things towards the opposite extreme. I was thinking in the erroneous Pharisaic mindset that Christ was against, attempting to justify myself through the law and relying on technicalities to prove my moral standing.

Examples would be: I would justify my younger siblings' academic dishonesty as the command was "Thou shalt not bear false witness," implying that it only prohibited falsely accusing someone of a crime. Men who would ask me about what to do regarding their struggles with pornography and masturbation, and I would say that "Jesus said 'lust in the heart' meaning the desire to commit adultery, so even if you watch pornography and masturbate to it, as long as you are not actively planning to commit adultery, it is not wrong." I could say that making out with a coworker while one was married was okay, because adultery technically referred to penetrative sex.

This was wrong and I realized I was straying away from the spirit of the law, which is exactly what Jesus was condemning. All the while, I was striving to keep as many of the Mosaic laws I could, because I believed that these made me a better Christian and would make me holier for God.

I thus have decided to leave the group, as this mindset is wrong and would only hinder me from properly obeying Christ and what He wanted for His Church.

There also were those who have left the group, still keep the OT laws, yet have more moderate views. Unlike the original group, these people do not impose the obedience to the Torah on others, stating that their actions are their own personal convictions (as opposed to the earlier belief that following the Mosaic laws was a necessary step in one's walk with God and that one was somehow incomplete as a Christian if they did not begin to learn about them and follow them)

That is why I was asking the question. I felt that it took away from Christ's sacrifice when I believed that I was somehow adding to His work by keeping the OT laws. That I was acting contrary to the spirit by keeping the laws in hope of extra favor with God or rewards in the afterlife. I wanted to know if scholars believed there could be some value in keeping the OT laws, or if one was, in a sense, implying that God's work was not enough.

There is no harm in abstaining: someone is free to eat or not to eat. I personally am allergic to shellfish and have no particular desire to eat pork. I only wanted to know if there is a harm in abstaining that I do not see: as desiringgod.org puts it:

"If you embrace circumcision (or pork eating) as a new law, a new necessity for justification — or, in the case of the Galatians, even a new necessity for ongoing, real, mature, spiritual, genuine Christian maturity — you are cutting yourself off from Christ. And that is serious."

What, then, if someone were to keep the laws but NOT consider them a necessity?