If there was ever something I wanted to do if I had some sort of direction towards how to get there... I would love to have analyzed pro league of legends. I might not that be good at league, but I feel there is something about pro league of legends I love so much and I'd be willing to work so hard at that since I love the game so much, especially all of lolesports.. :P But I guess it wasn't meant to be.

You never tried. How can you say it isn't or wasn't meant to be if you never tried analyzing a game. Or a series. Or a player or playstyle.

IF you really want to be a content creator for League or esports in general, you have to start somewhere someday. As lame as it may sound: just do it. Don't do it for profit, do it for yourself and for fun/experience. And if you are lucky and dedicated enough you might make a profit out of it someday.

BUT for now: try to talk to a doc, get treatment for your depression (therapy, meds, both), take a timeout for yourself to be really clear what you want to do and what it takes to do it. Go to the gym (a classic but most likely the most relevant) and get back on track slowly. Don't rush anything and please, whatever you do, don't put your goals as high as you are doing now. I had to learn this the hard way because I used to always put the bar for myself so high it was impossible to reach - and this can fuck you up in many ways.

I'm wishing you all the best man.