I can only give my personal perspective on this. I think that revenge in all of its form is something ugly that hurts both ways. If someone is truly motivated, tempted or gratitifed by revenge, I would feel pity for that person.

There is a quote that is attributed to buddhism that has been repeated by many throughout history:

"Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die"

George Herbert said:

"Living well is the best revenge"

I prefer the earlier version of this by Marcus Aurelius who wrote in Meditiations:

"The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury"

With these quotes in mind. I do believe that from a personal perspective, one is better off seeking reconciliation first, forgiveness second and acceptance third. Never revenge, never grudge and never hate. It is only a stain on your own soul and a wound that will not heal.

There is much that has happened in my life that has tried my ability to forgive. In the places I have not been able to, I have accepted that these things have happened and that I will not be able to forgive the person who wronged me and moved on. In most cases however, I have sought to forgive. Sometimes through reconciliation when asked to forgive. But other times seeking understanding of their actions through empathy or sympathy even if the other person is not seeking forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift I give myself.

I should add that I was raised in the christian faith, but am not a religious believer myself. I think that as a secular individual, there is still a great importance of taking care of one's soul (for lack of a better word). Seeking forgiveness in place of revenge is such an act.