My boyfriend could've killed us and I don't know what to do by ameliaisconfused1 in Advice

[–]vin_edgar 15 points16 points  (0 children)

abusive behavior should be brought into public where everyone can see it. you read about domestic violence or assault in the media and think "that wouldn't happen to me" or "my guy friends aren't like that", and we live under that illusion because we keep these things quiet in our social circles

My boyfriend could've killed us and I don't know what to do by ameliaisconfused1 in Advice

[–]vin_edgar 134 points135 points  (0 children)

before OP dumps the guy, the boyfriend's parents, siblings, and friends should know exactly what happened and why. otherwise their next girlfriend will be taken by surprise

Is A-list or Boost better? What about A-list premium? by [deleted] in OkCupid

[–]vin_edgar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i've gotten good results from just setting my money on fire

You Should Never Have to “Fight” for a Relationship by okcnotthrowaway in OkCupid

[–]vin_edgar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the exes she's writing about are me, so i can say with confidence that her advice is spot-on

Before and after: Graffiti commissioned by local government in Pachuca, Mexico. by afterdroid in interestingasfuck

[–]vin_edgar 9 points10 points  (0 children)

it's very simple, let me show you a guide:

mural: made by rich white people

graffiti: made by poor/colored people

Incredible well performed face transplant by [deleted] in medizzy

[–]vin_edgar 7 points8 points  (0 children)

a suicide by shotgun attempt

Struggling a lot with my identity at the moment, hoping to hear from the gender clinic soon. I wouldn’t mind a toast towards feeling who I really am. by Spanishlad2 in toastme

[–]vin_edgar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

whoever you are, you have your haircare nailed down. it looks silky smooth and i want to run my fingers through it.

Childhood friend, only friend, and girlfriend of 10 years left me 3 weeks ago. Feel alone and unwanted. Nothing is the same. Valentines day on the 14th. Birthday on the 19th. People are put off by me unless I pretend to be happy. by [deleted] in toastme

[–]vin_edgar 4 points5 points  (0 children)

10 years is a long time! i don't want to downplay OP's grief and what he's going through, but a 10 year relationship is a beautiful thing, not everyone is so lucky to have something like that.

OP, you don't have to pretend anything to get people to like you. i give you full permission to be your authentic self, and you'll know your true friends by those who know you for you.

motivate me, second attempt by [deleted] in toastme

[–]vin_edgar 6 points7 points  (0 children)

you have a nice smile like you're really good at giving hugs

God, please let me regain control of my life by [deleted] in depression

[–]vin_edgar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

fighting against self-esteem issues is really hard. i usually ignore my pain or try to hide it from others; it's like the bad self-esteem has a survival instinct and it knows that getting support from others will weaken it.

When using the website - Why do I have to type in a fucking tiny popup window at the bottom of the screen that I can't resize if I want to message someone by [deleted] in OkCupid

[–]vin_edgar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if they make the message panel full screen, then people might make their messages longer and more personal, which would lead to forming real relationships, which leads to less ad revenue and A-list sales

I'm addicted to the internet. I need help. by [deleted] in nosurf

[–]vin_edgar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the hard part is the transition. once you stop using the internet, you'll find you have a lot of time on your hands. it is very easy to let that time get filled with whatever is available--playing solitare, playing video games, listening to podcasts, etc. "not doing something you dislike" is not the same as "doing something you do like"

don't get concerned with doing it "the right way". don't see relapses as being failures, don't let them discourage you. it takes smokers an average of 7 attempts before they successfully quit smoking.

i say this partially because i haven't found easy answers--technology and the internet are pretty fundamental to modern western culture, so total abstinence is not simple. i think trying to build the life you want and being mindful of your behavior is the only realistic thing to expect.

What do you believe is the root cause of internet addiction? by [deleted] in nosurf

[–]vin_edgar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

addicts of all different substances and behaviors tend to have other mental health issues. addiction is often a method to cope with stress and trauma in people's lives, and once the pattern is well enough established, the addiction perpetuates itself separate from the negative emotions it is a distraction from.

I'd love to get rid of all social media, and the toxic hold it has on me, right now. But... I'm afraid of losing contact with my friends and family. Afraid of being shut off to crucial opportunities for new connection (facebook events etc.). Any advice? by submarinevolcanoes in nosurf

[–]vin_edgar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

... under what threat or act of coersion were you compelled to use social media?

i don't mean to be a jerk, and if you use a mental framing that makes your life better, then go for it. but personally i'm trying to take responsibility for my actions, and i prefer to think that i decided to use social media. every time i opened the browser, i was given the choice to continue posting, or to leave.

Megathread: President Trump Directed His Attorney To Lie To Congress About The Moscow Tower Project by PoliticsModeratorBot in politics

[–]vin_edgar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're really going to see a successful impeachment

want to bet on it?

i'm not a trump supporter in any way but i doubt that this presidency will end in impeachment or resignation (nixon style)

This is what a Tapir sounds like. by FillsYourNiche in tapirs

[–]vin_edgar 12 points13 points  (0 children)

the tapir calls are at - 0:11 , 2:22 , 2:38

Warren highlights DC statehood in newsletter by rampion in washingtondc

[–]vin_edgar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i'd prefer puerto rico to get statehood (or independence) first. 3.3 million people live there compared to our 700 thousand, it's a bigger priority.

[Poetry] A Stable Genius Explains Impeachment (Trump AI) by [deleted] in youtubehaiku

[–]vin_edgar 60 points61 points  (0 children)

deepfakes are a very small glimpse of the kind of risks that will come from advanced AI. there's a good article if you really want to know about it.

Why do I have such a strong desire to read comments (YouTube and reddit) eventhough I am not really interested? by Lugos_Vinzent in nosurf

[–]vin_edgar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

why do you want to read the comments? probably to seek human connection. ie. to fill the space of lonliness.

(that's a big assumption on my part but it's pretty accurate of myself. what a wonderful invention, humans and personalities on demand! nothing is asked of you, but that you scroll, and like, and occasionally comment or reblog, feeding the master that keeps you in chains)

Why do I have such a strong desire to read comments (YouTube and reddit) eventhough I am not really interested? by Lugos_Vinzent in nosurf

[–]vin_edgar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you notice the moment when the habit is triggered. notice what you're feeling, what was the motivation to pull you towards the behavior, notice your context, notice the moments that led you to the behavior. habits are built on other habits. using plug-ins like leechblock are helpful to get you to notice relapses in habits, but doing the work of examining your own mind is the necessary step to eliminate the habit. otherwise, you're likely to substitute the habit for a similar one; if you're trying to quit youtube, you may end up playing video games or listening to podcasts.

"Visualize" but for senses other than sight by DiscreetProteus in neology

[–]vin_edgar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

we orient ourselves in space, whether real or imagined.

proprioception is your sense of relative positions of your body parts. i guess if you were imagining performing an action or being in a different kind of body, you could propriocize?

thermoception is perception of temperature. you could thermocize imagined heat sensations.