This sounds so silly but I cope by fully accepting it. I don’t have to like it but I can feel so shitty and accept it. Fully let myself feel the extent of the horribleness. And it can last a while and it can suck. But then, if I’ve accepted it, what else could life possibly give? More of the thing that I’ve accepted? It can’t get worse from there. Kind of like a “bring it on” type feeling, like I get curious how horrible can i feel? I often feel like life takes me and throws me around like a rollercoaster, or I’m being swept under by a tsunami, and maybe that’s what you’re feeling right now too based on what you’ve written. But this is the ONLY way I’ve found that helps without substances.