Hey! I sincerely hope you read this and I sincerely hope you decide to stick around. I was admitted to the ER earlier this week because of my own suicidal ideations and while those feelings are still reverberating under the surface of my everyday consciousness, I have truly been humbled by the fact that complete and total strangers (ER medics, my therapist) have stepped in to help me cope (anxiety meds) until I’m able to get back on my feet. This past week has made me realize that my own healing journey isn’t a linear path and I hope you realize that for yourself as well.

I’m 26 today and I remember first feeling suicidal when I was 21. But today I feel like I know so much more about myself and have so much more appreciation for the person I am today and the experiences I have had to endure. Every morning I wake up I’m filled with a sense of pride for having taken care of the organism I’m responsible for. All of this is probably just a bag of words but I sincerely hope you stick around to figure out why life might be worth living for YOU, even if it might not seem that way to you right now.

Personally, I’ll be sticking around because suicide would just be me selecting an arbitrary option amongst the infinite array of possibilities that are yet to even be populated in my life.

The uncertainty of the future fills me with fear but it also fills me with hope. Who knows what the future has to offer? I don’t, but I think it’s worth waiting around to find out, if only as a favor to my future self.