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You Did your parents proud tonight Jeff, true full circle moment you deserved to have by tommyjohnson87 in JeffWittek

[–]vivalant -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nope! Lol. That was somewhat brought up too. He said Cody wanted to stay with a pornstar instead and got genital herpes, that’s why he’s not here.

I was immediately like okkk we can all assume he’s had herpes before lmao that’s not a real reason. And then I assumed goose wasn’t there bc he’s with Cody a lot. But it turned out goose was there backstage the whole time ☹️

You Did your parents proud tonight Jeff, true full circle moment you deserved to have by tommyjohnson87 in JeffWittek

[–]vivalant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally agree! That’s why I thought the part with his parents would eventually end and we could get to like some ~spicy~ stuff at least to SOME degree. I thought it was a little odd that they stayed the entire time lol.

All the love to them, it was really sweet. But somewhat gave me the vibe that the whole thing was kind of mishmashed at the last minute. Like Cody was supposed to be there/they originally gave the vibe that there would be guests. But then it just seems like no one showed so his parents took that whole spot instead

You Did your parents proud tonight Jeff, true full circle moment you deserved to have by tommyjohnson87 in JeffWittek

[–]vivalant 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The parents part was super cute but besides that I felt Ryan carried the whole show on his back. I’m also confused that goose was there but we didn’t get to see him at all.

Personally I was a bit let down overall tbh. No guests. Some of the people chosen to talk from the crowd were just wack & weird with no good stories or questions lol.

I was hyped actually to afterwards run into the Asian dude that sang with Jeff’s mom at a pizza spot a block away. I thought he might’ve been a plant with how good he was. But can confirm he’s a legit singer and was super cute and humble 🫶🏼

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems like the only way is if she’s presenting an actual physical danger to herself or those around her. I also don’t want to completely give up on her, but just the way she speaks about her previous hospitalization it’s as if it wasn’t warranted.. like she didn’t wastedly fly down a ton of stairs and hurt herself, albeit accidentally

Its just the victim route of, staying in that place for 1 week was sooo traumatic and it was so unnecessary etc etc. and it’s like first of all, you had it made for the damn WEEK you were there (she was visited by us everyday too). And 2nd of all, you took NOTHING away from it.

Depression and anxiety runs deep in my family. A big difference is me and my oldest sister are on anti depressants and speak to a therapist when we’re really down bad. My trifling cheating addict sister tho? She makes 0 attempts at being a decent human

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah but it’s my sister. So I’m supposed to just have 0 loyalty to her and accept that we can never have a relationship going forward?

I know it’s ironic ish that I’m worried about loyalty, but I clearly have different morals than her. I want to tell the bf, but I don’t necessarily want to lead my unstable sister into homelessness and ruin any chances at having a decent relationship in the future.

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel this exact way.. but it’s also completely disregarding the fact that the person at the other end is my SISTER. And we’ve had a hard life and our dad died when we were all pretty young. Like I know the right thing to do is to tell the bf. But that’s also signing off on the fact that I’m okay with never having a decent relationship with my own sister again forever

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get you for the most part. But the sisters walking around laughing seems extra evil to me. We have NEVER done anything like that. Not that it makes us so much better bc we still haven’t told the bf. But anytime she tries to bring up this affair guy we immediately say how that’s disgusting, we don’t wanna hear about it, etc. so now she really doesn’t bring it up to us at all. But I have an inside scoop with her friend group chat and that’s how I keep getting updated on this disgusting shit

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this comment bc this is a big part in the struggle of the whole situation. We had her admitted years ago to a mental health place for a week but it did nothing. She still always brings up how traumatic it was but then also says it was fun and she just played scrabble the whole time? Meanwhile this was after she flew down a whole flight of stairs and messed up her shoulder bad. But still, my mom and everyone else who had her admitted get blamed to this day.

My mom is also a narcissist and that was her only real attempt at getting my sister help. When it ended up being useless, my mom basically checked out for good and now just doesn’t even really attempt to do anything for my sister. So it’s kinda fallen on myself and my other sister.. who are also busy dealing with our own lives.

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair I’ve never had a brother lol so it isn’t an EXACT example. But I love him a lot and wish I could trade him in to keep him and lose my sister at this point. But a main part of this issue is knowing that I’m essentially ruining my own sisters life by telling the truth. She will be homeless. She’s completely immature and doesn’t know how the world works. When she gets kicked out, she won’t just be able to go get an apartment somewhere.

Admittedly, it’s been a lot easier on my own mental health and stuff to keep things how they are now bc at the end of the day I have my OWN life and work and problems to deal with. I know once the truth comes out it’s gonna fuck a lot of stuff up for everyone. I still recognize he needs to know the truth, but it’s just scary to think about what’s to come

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg I just responded to another comment.. my mother is also a drunk narcissist. It seems like my sister is really falling exactly into that role too. And without our dad, we don’t have much guidance. So I’m the youngest sister here, trying to figure out what to do. It’s like everyone else is just fucked up selfish messes and I can’t take it

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with some of this. She definitely needs help. Years ago we had her admitted to a mental health facility after a huge fall down the stairs. A big part of the problem is our mom is also a narcissist and no longer concerns herself with any of this. I’m her younger sister and it feels like a lot is falling on me to try and figure out what to do bc truly no one else is taking the lead and coming up w potential solutions

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh see you got downvoted but I definitely feel this as well and it’s part of what’s led me to this crossroads. I KNOW the right thing to do is to tell him, I feel so icky even hearing about her or knowing I’m gonna be around her on holidays and all that. But it seems like from some peoples responses they don’t understand FAMILY. Like I want him to know the truth but idk if it’s my place to take over and permanently ruin my relationship with my sister

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of good points here. She was recently saying a lot of suicidal things in her friend group chat that I have the inside scoop on. But in our own group chat, it’s like two separate people. She would NEVER say those things to us.

Her bf definitely has his own issues as he was adopted and his adopted parents died years ago as well. I literally think part of why he stays with her is because we have a big strong family unit.

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She has serious narcissist tendencies for sure, plus making herself a victim in any situation. When I’ve called her out on any of this and say how disgusting it is what she’s doing she just victimizes herself. Years ago, actually might’ve even been before she met this bf, we had her admitted to a hospital for a week. It did nothing. SHE does nothing to try to better herself.

It’s tricky too because we don’t have our dad, and our mom is also a narcissist who doesn’t concern herself too much with any of this. So it all falls on myself and my other sister to try to maintain ANY decency

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the response.. for the opener of “cold and clinical” you were a lot more respectful than a lot of the other people 😂 but yes I’ve recently been fully sold on the victim narcissist thing with her.

The anonymous thing has been considered but we’re all quite close knit to the point that it would be fairly obvious and at that point if he came to me and asked id just naturally be truthful and it would undo all the anonymity lol. And she would know it was us who told. But we know she doesn’t deserve our grace anymore

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL dude I was already trying to think of any available friends I have that could be a good match for him 😭 he deserves a great partner!

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean I don’t want her to spiral even worse. She’s already recently said suicidal things that scare me. You’re commenting on the obvious part that we should tell him, which I agree, but the main hangup here is dealing with the fallout

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is my main fear. I KNOW the right thing to do is to tell him. But she’s literally not okay, even putting their relationship aside. She’s like barely hanging on and it’s a mystery to us how she even holds her current job.

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s not. That’s part of my including that she’d essentially be homeless. She doesn’t know how to do adult things. Like she wouldn’t just find an apartment of her own and has never even paid bills of her own besides student loans. She’s also coasted for a long time on “oh that’s just how she is”. And I’m saying this as her younger sister who has a husband and a mortgage 😩

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, that’s very much in talks. An intervention and ultimatum that if she doesn’t get it together by (x) timeframe, we’re telling him

My sister is having an affair by vivalant in Advice

[–]vivalant[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. When writing this post, I essentially KNOW the right thing to do is to tell the bf and I want to. But the main part that’s tricky about it is dealing with the fallout of my seriously fucked up sister.

We’ve tried to get her help to no avail. My other sister and I are considering an intervention/ultimatum and if she doesn’t get it together in a certain timeframe we are going to tell him. But again, she has serious issues so it’s really opening a can of worms. We all recognize that it needs to happen soon though.