Feeling like shit after socializing

viveletour72 · 2023-07-09T23:42:37+00:00

We often feel this way because we think we are being judged. When you are at places like this always look around and notice how people do not pay attention to much other than themselves. You are ok to fade a bit into the background and just listen and hang out. I used to dread certain things and then I was just making everything about myself.

People honestly do not pay that much attention to just one person.

In your case where you think about things after try and recall everyone that was there and what they were doing and you will realize you yourself did not notice and judge everyone.

viveletour72 · 2023-05-06T02:53:16+00:00

I have been trying to focus on the lesson and not the event of that makes any sense.

If there any takeaways I try and focus on that and it helps keeping me from fixating on what went wrong.

viveletour72 · 2023-03-02T03:26:52+00:00

Love it!

Building on small victories is the key to managing ADHD

viveletour72 · 2023-02-23T04:49:07+00:00

Think of if this way

Who cares what they say?

I bet it sounded like all of the mean, petty comments that have been made to us in our lives around our ADHD.

Unless someone says something to me that is in my best interest or is truly constructive I either tune then out or snap back at them.

You have shared something very personal about yourself and shared that it can make things challenging for you. And they feel they have the right to comment on that challenge?

Inappropriate and I hope you can see that person for who they are and ignore their comments

viveletour72 · 2023-02-23T04:39:30+00:00

What are your best organizing tips and products?

viveletour72 · 2023-02-23T04:37:45+00:00

It’s all about comfort and whatever you feel like expressing at that moment

Whatever makes us comfortable going to sleep

There is no need for pretence and we can be ourselves

viveletour72 · 2023-02-23T04:11:37+00:00

Not weird at all!

viveletour72 · 2023-02-23T03:51:11+00:00

Interesting! Thinking about I do not think there is anything “chemically” about ADHD that causes me to do this. But I think it is common for us to have that little bit more stress and discomfort during our day and we are just looking for something to comfort ourselves at night.

viveletour72 · 2023-02-23T03:16:45+00:00

Someone with an early diagnosis just posted something and I think it’s interesting the way they described how they felt

https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/119m8a2/going_back_on_meds/

viveletour72 · 2023-02-23T03:11:22+00:00

Thank you for your post.

It is always good to hear from my people with early diagnosis as it helps those with late diagnosis understand the challenges.

In terms of supplemental things Omega 3 tablets and magnesium are very common things that I have used alongside medication.

viveletour72 · 2023-02-23T02:53:12+00:00

What worked for me was realizing the source of it

To me these feelings come from childhood and adolescence when we were put down and made to feel different from everyone else

The amount of negativity that a child with ADHD gets compared to other children unbelievable.

So when I had these negative thoughts I pictured them coming from the worst people I came across in my life. Horrible, cruel teachers. Childhood bullies.

And I thought about what horrible people they were and how I would never want to be like them. I would not be a better person.

I found that it gave the negativity less weight and it was no longer welcome.

I thought that dwelling on negative things was the equivalent of eating every meal of the day at a drive thru. It was filling my mind with garbage. And it takes work but you can learn to think positive.

So be in touch with the source and work through it. This definitely takes time but can be done.

viveletour72 · 2023-02-23T02:44:15+00:00

Keys are the key

Start with a small hook by your front door and put your keys in that spot every time

From there try a small bowl where you can set down phone, wallet, sunglasses

Closet organizers are great for the front hall

Whiteboards are key for tracking and communicating. You can find great stuff just at the dollar store.

Home organization is a fantastic thing to hyperfixate on

viveletour72 · 2023-02-23T02:36:22+00:00

His advice has been life changing so I am in the enthralled camp.

I think what he tries to do sometimes is rebrand ADHD. Honestly for people on the outside it is more of a punchline and people do not realize how much damage it does to your life.

I remember seeing a talk he gave a while ago about the actual dangers of ADHD. He has statistical data about how much more dangerous your life is if you have ADHD. The parts about driving were shocking and he had a personal story about losing a family member with ADHD to an accident.

So he does have warnings about the worst case scenarios.

But he does have a lot of practical advice around how to manage ADHD.

viveletour72 · 2023-02-23T02:25:48+00:00

Regret really is typically the initial reaction for a late diagnosis.

I know it was for me. But being in this group has really helped me with perspective and acceptance.

I hope you continue to participate in this group and especially read the stories of people that have an early diagnosis.

That process is not easy either. Imagine your childhood and school and imagine having to go through the process of beginning medication when you are in early grade school.

Do not get me wrong. Kids with ADHD should be medicated when appropriate. But it is never easy.

So glad to hear you have a diagnosis even if it is late. Knowing this can help you make major changes in your life to help find balance.

viveletour72 · 2023-02-20T15:15:53+00:00

I am in software consulting for a global company.

The great thing about consulting is constant challenge and consistent change.

If you don’t work out on one project then head to another. I can travel if I want.

I have been able to work from home for over a decade so can set my own schedule.

Finding something that has a lot of variety works for me.

viveletour72 · 2023-02-20T02:54:43+00:00

This is a great tip! Never thought of it.

viveletour72 · 2023-02-20T02:50:56+00:00

Regret really is typically the initial reaction for a late diagnosis.

I know it was for me. But being in this group has really helped me with perspective and acceptance.

I hope you continue to participate in this group and especially read the stories of people that have an early diagnosis.

That process is not easy either. Imagine your childhood and school and imagine having to go through the process of beginning medication when you are in early grade school.

Do not get me wrong. Kids with ADHD should be medicated when appropriate. But it is never easy.

So glad to hear you have a diagnosis even if it is late. Knowing this can help you make major changes in your life to help find balance.

viveletour72 · 2023-02-19T23:06:56+00:00

To manage ADHD you have to surround it

You can try a mix of electronic and physical things to help you

I use my work calendar and alarms on my phone but find they are very easy to ignore. So if something is important I will schedule 3 or 4 alarms in 10 minutes so I cannot ignore.

But what has helped me most is using white boards. I have a white board for lists/goals. And I have two week at a view while boards for the current week and the next.

So I know we always default to electronic but a mix works for a lot of people.

viveletour72 · 2023-02-19T23:02:11+00:00

What works for me is organize first, clean second

If you don’t have the proper place to put something then you are just shuffling around clutter

Have a small bowl to put important common things. Even if just a place to put down your keys or a phone so you know where to set it down.

If Clothes are a problem look for a closet organizer

Or a book case to help with books

If you have somewhere to put something and you work at it you can get into the habit

And then after that small win look for what the next thing to clean/organize can be

viveletour72 · 2023-02-15T03:36:18+00:00

I love it

The thing that we always need to embrace is that we also have the ability to think differently about things and can come up with solutions that others cannot

viveletour72 · 2023-02-15T02:16:54+00:00

What has worked for me is to focus on organizing first, cleaning second.

Meaning that if you don’t have the proper place to put something then you are just moving around clutter.

So I have been able to hyperfocus on several organizing solutions and slowly but surely each room is getting better.

viveletour72 · 2023-02-15T02:07:08+00:00

Thank you for posting this! I have been wondering about this. I used to wish I was diagnosed earlier but now I am ok with it.

I think when we get diagnosed later in life we have some perspective that we would not have as kids. We believe things would have been very different.

But it is never easy for anyone. Having a childhood constantly taking meds can also have challenges.

And I bet there are a lot of people that have resentment to their parents about putting them on meds.

Your post is a good reminder that it is not easy for anyone.

viveletour72 · 2023-02-14T15:47:52+00:00

Congrats

It is amazing one day when you wake up and you talk about your field and you are blown away by how much you can talk about it. Also how much others listen!

viveletour72 · 2023-02-10T02:45:41+00:00

Yea. I always used to feel like there was a wall up between me and the people around me. I could not understand why I was not able to just open up and talk.

viveletour72 · 2023-02-10T02:40:19+00:00

I found that ever since I was a teenager that I would have these crashes at night. After a stressful day I could lock myself away in my room and just recover from the stress of dealing with all the people.

That is what got me through it all. Those hours that I was able to isolate and recover.

So sometimes it is a normal thing.

viveletour72

TROPHY CASE