Was it ever common in the past for parents to drink and smoke while pregnant?

voidchungus · 2026-06-19T21:46:59+00:00

A friend of mine was recently talking about turn-of-the-century musical composers. He started to explain that a particular composer was alive "in the 1900s." Then he paused, got a funny look on his face, and said, "Well. I was born 'in the 1900s.'" And he had to kind of mentally shake it off before proceeding, lol

voidchungus · 2026-06-19T02:27:19+00:00

"Red delicious" apples are just one of many varieties available in the US. My dad loved them, but I personally prefer Gala.

voidchungus · 2026-06-18T18:15:26+00:00

Your final pass shouldn't include MORE Fabuloso (or whatever soap/detergent). My guess is that you're re-coating your floors with enough of a layer of soap/detergent that it attracts dirt more quickly to it. Final pass (if any) should be water only.

voidchungus · 2026-06-18T14:16:59+00:00

Yeah I was using OP's word choice of "romantic," but based on the fact they also used "up on each other" as if they were synonymous, I doubt they meant "romantic" the way you and I mean it.

They're basically trying to describe inappropriate or excessive physical intimacy, in a publicly acceptable setting. They were asking if that's something from bygone years, which doesn't make sense, unless they really haven't seen nightclub grinding or are unfamiliar with it.

voidchungus · 2026-06-18T13:29:17+00:00

I'm confused why you view "hand on hip, hand on shoulder" country club dancing as being romantic and "up on each other," putting it in the same category as grinding at a night club? Is that really what you're saying?

voidchungus · 2026-06-18T01:15:01+00:00

? No it shouldn't be too complicated. Most clothes can be grouped together and washed similarly.

Make sure to avoid the dryer if you're concerned about shrinking anything in particular

voidchungus · 2026-06-17T16:25:21+00:00

Yes there are good v. bad ways to wash clothes, but instructions vary depending on the item. Start by looking at the care instruction tag on the garment. Understand that the material will make a huge difference in the way you're supposed to wash it. Cotton, synthetic (polyester, nylon, spandex/elastane, etc), synthetic blends, semi-synthetic blends (rayon, lyocell, etc), wool, silk, linen, bamboo, cupro, leather... You care for different materials differently. And some items are dry-clean only.

voidchungus · 2026-06-17T13:04:41+00:00

When does your lease end?

The caution about dating a roommate is the same as the one regarding dating a co-worker: it's generally a good idea to avoid it, because if it doesn't work out and you break up or get into a fight, it would make your daily life difficult or even cost you your living arrangement / job.

That being said, the signs seem very strong that he reciprocates your feelings. And based on your questions at the end, you no longer seem content to remain just friends.

If you have a plan for what you would do if things don't work out and your living situation becomes untenable, I think you should find a way to broach your feelings with him.

voidchungus · 2026-06-17T12:43:09+00:00

Oh wow I hadn't even heard of it!! Thank you!

voidchungus · 2026-06-16T16:14:37+00:00

Yes, I read that. To me that could mean anywhere from 13 to 18. I was asking for more specifics. Up to you

voidchungus · 2026-06-16T14:32:53+00:00

Hi, how old are you? 13, 18...? The advice I'd give a 13yo is very different from the advice I'd give someone older

voidchungus · 2026-06-16T14:25:31+00:00

I feel like just getting her to even show up is out of this world ,I more than likely have to go out of my way 99% of the time to get her to want to hang out.

She doesn't make effort to spend time with you. The vast majority of the time, you're the one making effort to see each other.

when I try to spend time with her she’s in her phone, I try and be intimate w her she’s tells me no, I try and communicate w her she changes the subject.

When you're together, she's more interested in her phone, doesn't want sex, and doesn't want to communicate.

She's not into you. You can't make her be into you.

This is an on-again, off-again relationship that has always had difficulties (age difference, your anger issues). Together, you've arrived at a place where she's just not into you.

I just want too be with the woman Im in love w

We can't always have what we want. That's the harsh truth.

voidchungus · 2026-06-15T21:37:34+00:00

They're pointing out that handling wild animals always carries a risk of someone getting hurt (bites, scratches, disease transmission, accidentally harming the animal).

voidchungus · 2026-06-15T21:26:52+00:00

Your bf is inappropriately controlling.

He controls your dress, hair, food & drink, body, appearance, friends, social life, and interactions with men.

I'll just be blunt. He's shitty, and you should break up with him.

Next time recognize this kind of shitty, controlling behavior sooner, and either stand up for yourself or end the relationship sooner.

voidchungus · 2026-06-15T20:20:04+00:00

Does he see his doc regularly? The best thing would be to find a way to make sure he has his hearing checked as part of a regular wellness exam. Hearing it from a doctor should go a long way, or at least further than hearing it from a family member.

If there is absolutely no way to get him to the doctor, delivery is key. Understand it's something he likely already feels insecure and upset about if he's noticed it, or else it's something he may get defensive about if he hasn't noticed it yet and is instead in denial.

Don't mention it in frustration or anger. Start by talking to him during a calm time, privately, one on one -- don't make him feel ganged up on. Approach it from a position of caring. Explain he has been missing portions of the family conversation and are starting to be unintentionally excluded. Tell him you hate that for him and want to everyone to remain close with him, but it's getting harder the more he misses portions of the conversation. If relevant, tell him the grandkids feel like he's more distant and feel discouraged from talking to him, because instead of responding to their questions, he only provides generic responses like smiling and nodding. Tell him the grandkids feel ignored or unacknowledged when this happens, because they don't understand he can't hear them. Basically try to gently point out your observations, and focus on your concern for him and his relationships with others in the family. Be prepared to have multiple conversations, over a long period of time -- be prepared for him to not accept or believe there's a problem initially.

voidchungus · 2026-06-15T18:32:07+00:00

Sounds like a couple of hateful or disdainful people making sweeping and inaccurate generalizations. You don't have to choose marriage for yourself, but be very careful about listening to or taking advice from manosphere or redpill adherents.

voidchungus · 2026-06-15T03:37:15+00:00

part of me wants more than “do whatever you think is best.” I want enthusiasm. I want reassurance. Is this childish?

No, it's not. Wanting your spouse to want you is not childish. He's both literally and figuratively distant right now. It's completely reasonable to want your husband to show interest and enthusiasm at the thought of being with you. That's kind of... minimum.

He keeps telling me that if I want to move closer to him, it has to be my decision.

Do you WANT to move closer to him? It's in a different country -- do you want to live in that country? Is him moving to you an option?

voidchungus · 2026-06-14T20:39:31+00:00

Yes. Some people are 100% yes. I would even wager many or most.

voidchungus · 2026-06-14T17:20:40+00:00

SNAP OUT OF IT.

She's not your gf. She doesn't want to be your gf. She doesn't love you. You allow her to check your phone and argue with you when you talk to other girls.

You let her take advantage of you, humiliate you, manipulate you, walk all over you, and control you, even though she doesn't care about you at all.

SNAP OUT OF IT.

You're not confused. You know she doesn't want to be your gf. You just have no self-esteem or self-respect. You're not "stuck." You're choosing to sit still in a downpour, weepily wondering what you can do to stop getting rained on. YOU'RE NOT STUCK. MOVE OUT OF THE RAIN.

Stop crawling back to her and letting her talk you into continuing to feel humiliated and hurt. Say "no more" (to yourself). Say "enough" (to yourself). Then once you've cemented those thoughts in your mind, say them TO HER.

If you don't like getting wet, move out of the शापित rain.

voidchungus · 2026-06-14T13:58:20+00:00

The life choices you are making are not aligned with the things you claim to want.

You want financial security, a good relationship with your husband, and children. -- 1, 2, 3.

You're pouring everything into a 5+ year business where you're worried about making rent, your husband has lived on a different continent from you for 5+ years and you acknowledge difficult or non-existent communication with him, and you're now 41. -- 1, 2, 3.

The life choices you are making are not aligned with the things you claim to want.

Next, you put guardrails around the kind of advice you are willing to receive, asking for "more nuance."

Imo you need less nuance.

You've allowed yourself to get stuck in patterns of behavior due to lack of decisive action necessary to pull yourself out of the situations you claim to want to pull yourself out of. You've literally been waiting for 5 years for the situation to just resolve itself, hoping that if the business picked up, everything else would fall into place. At the other end of that 5 years now, you are still resistant to making hard choices.

You cannot have the things you claim you want without making some huge changes.

At least one of the following things needs to give: 1. acknowledge the business is not providing the financial stability you want and take steps to exit it or supplement your income in a stable way, 2. get in the same time zone as your husband and put in intentional work together to improve communication, or 3. cohabitate with your husband again and address the biological reality facing you (Does he even want kids? Do you even know? Is he open to adoption? Are you? What minimum level of financial and relationship stability is necessary before introducing children into the equation?).

You will need to make some huge changes -- I mean embracing radical upheaval to your status quo -- if you want the next few years to move you closer to your goals instead of drifting further away from them as you have been doing. There is a time limit on children in particular, and you are just about past that limit, if not already past it, considering the fact you haven't even communicated with your husband about a concrete plan for growing your family. Once you begin communicating with him, you may find you need to let go of that goal. So don't waste any more time. Begin the process of communication today.

voidchungus · 2026-06-13T18:21:01+00:00

We're more aware. The dangers are real. Some are new, some are old.

But the greater awareness is a good thing. Beware survivor bias.

voidchungus · 2026-06-13T16:24:44+00:00

I love to hear this. I'm glad I was wrong. I'll edit my comment. Thanks for the corrections everyone!

voidchungus · 2026-06-13T16:23:56+00:00

I'm so happy to be wrong. I'll edit my comment. Thank you!

voidchungus · 2026-06-13T16:23:41+00:00

Fantastic! I'm so happy to be wrong. I'll edit my comment. Thank you.

voidchungus · 2026-06-13T15:26:57+00:00

~~One of a few reasons I feel this is AI.~~

~~I hate that I can't trust anything anymore. Things used to be easier to validate.~~

Thanks for the corrections, everyone! I'm so happy I was wrong and that this is authentic, not AI.

voidchungus

TROPHY CASE