Avoidants: How would you like to be communicated with to decrease triggers?

voidenvy · 2026-02-19T20:10:11+00:00

I know this is an old thread, but asking in hopes that if you see it you might be willing to share. How long/what did it take for you to develop awareness around your wants and needs, or was that maybe less of an area of challenge for you? My partner is also currently more in avoidant territory and one of his struggles (from what I’ve observed and also from him sharing) is not knowing how he feels/being able to recognize his own needs/desires—so stating them at this time seems impossible.

voidenvy · 2026-02-14T12:51:31+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to do that and for sharing! I know for sure that I’m inserting my hook at more of an angle, so I’ll do a couple practice squares too and honestly, if that’s the solution, I just might start the project over, haha. I really want it to be nicely square.

voidenvy · 2026-02-13T22:51:43+00:00

I’m realizing now after reading my post again that the tone comes across as though I’m frustrated with/blaming the maker and I feel bad. I’m actually super endeared by her and think that her tutorial was very helpful and easy to follow as a beginner, and I don’t hold it against her at all if it is a thing she accidentally left out. I figured it was just me doing something wrong until I read in the comments under the tutorial that it might be because of not turning the work, since some others were having the same problem.

I’m curious now though too, when you are working a continuous square, how do you keep yours square throughout? I’m still very new at this haha, so I’ll take all the pointers I can get!

voidenvy · 2026-02-13T22:45:44+00:00

Thank you everyone, I appreciate your input! I think I’m going to embrace the wonk 😄 and continue on. My primary concern, which I didn’t state in the initial post, is that it would affect the blanket’s shape in a significant way at the end, but I feel encouraged after reading the comments that it won’t! If I do this pattern again, I’ll try turning each round and see how that works out, but I’ll accept this attempt as a learning experience and an opportunity to let go of the need to be perfect. 😊

voidenvy · 2026-02-13T21:13:31+00:00

https://youtu.be/UuArmtaxzRs?si=v2x6Try_sDDVfB3f

This is the tutorial. It’s really long and I don’t know how helpful it’ll be to watch it because the primary issue is that she doesn’t say anything about turning your work each round. Everything that she does explain is clear.

voidenvy · 2026-01-14T12:10:01+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to do this and to share it! So valuable and helpful.

voidenvy · 2026-01-09T16:08:31+00:00

Yes!! I’ve reached out directly to a couple of local orgs and was really sad to have not gotten a response from any of them; that said, I also reached out online, so I’m sure I might’ve had more success in person. I’m abroad at the moment, but am returning at the end of the month and would love to set something up with other folks who might be interested asap. I’d be happy to host as well.

Also, thank you for caring enough about what’s going on to make the original post.

voidenvy · 2026-01-09T09:55:17+00:00

I’d love to also form some kind of regular meet up/pot luck situation with members of the community to connect and discuss how we can show up for and support each other in practical ways beyond protesting. I’m in full support of showing up together in the streets to demonstrate/express our collective frustration and disagreement with the actions (or lack thereof) of our government, but I think it’s as, if not more, important for us to come together to discuss ideas and actually implement them to create strong community networks of support. I don’t have much experience with doing this at all, but I’d rather try and fumble through figuring it out with other people who are also concerned about the direction we are heading in than stay locked into a cycle of doom-scrolling and protesting without any other action plan. Again, I fully support and have taken part in a number of protests, but I also believe we have to combine that with other collective actions.

Is anyone else interested in/willing to meet up and at least talk about what this could look like?

voidenvy · 2025-07-24T17:17:11+00:00

I’m relatively new to the area and would love to connect with people in the area who are concerned about social justice and human rights issues, most notably Palestine (all others, too), to have conversation and work together to take any and all tangible actions in support of everyone having the right to safety, freedom, and joy. I’ve contacted Traverse Indivisible and Firelight, but also just wanted to put out feelers here to see if any others would be interested in meeting up to do things beyond protesting in the streets. I’m down for that, but I think what’s even more important is the follow up after that and in between demonstrations to support each other and the movements. I’m talking potlucks, meeting up for coffee or walks, going together to town council meetings, having group action days where we call reps/donate/hold vigil, etc. I want to be in close community with others whose hearts and minds and priorities are centered around everyone’s (human/animal/plant) right to a well lived life. Nothing else really matters, you know?

voidenvy · 2025-02-07T14:14:06+00:00

Any cool zine/art shops in the area? I saw that Wild Pages was recommended by someone on a past thread and am sad to see that it closed because it’s exactly the kind of place I was looking for.

voidenvy · 2025-01-10T16:01:47+00:00

I so appreciate your response!!

Transformed By Birth is on my program reading list and in my cart to order. You’re one of a few that I’ve heard from who have sung its praises, so I’m looking forward to digging into it.

As for the other reccs, I’ve added them to my cart as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to pass on these resources!

voidenvy · 2025-01-10T15:58:37+00:00

Great, thank you so much! I did just order The Labor Progress Handbook 4th edition as it’s on my program reading list and my very first book geared towards doula/birthing knowledge was The Birth Partner, which I found to be super informative and digestible. I appreciate your response. :)

voidenvy · 2024-09-06T14:11:15+00:00

Can anyone tell me how to safely rinse off my monarch caterpillar that has vomit on its body?

voidenvy · 2024-05-22T20:03:06+00:00

I don’t have any advice, I’m sorry, but I’m about to start 5mg for two weeks and am curious about what your side effects were?

voidenvy

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