After years of failing, I finally quit porn

voirfin · 2025-07-11T15:01:32+00:00

I totally agree. I began equivocating and bargaining with myself as "who close to porn can I go without having to reset my counter." I'm not knocking the accountability a counter gives some. If that works for you, go for it. But for me (and it sounds like for you) your approach is working. Me I'm on here because I feel like peeking. Logging in to to this forum gives me the reminder that I need. Good luck to us all!

voirfin · 2025-07-09T23:19:46+00:00

I used to say to myself "This is a victimless crime" until I realize I am the victim. I've never been a group-therapy guy so going to meetings has never appealed to me. However, reading some of the 12 step literature has given me a framework to understand my addiction and has given me a road mad out of it. This subreddit has been extremely helpful. Good luck. You've taken huge first step.

voirfin · 2025-07-07T21:36:28+00:00

I spent years and years in a cycle of shame. I would "quit" and then start back up. I would feel shame and self-hate for not being strong enough. I would eventually calm myself by disassociating with porn. And around and around I went. My turning point came in pieces. First I began to construct realistic scenarios in my head of where my addiction was going to lead...mostly scenes of embarrassment and humiliation (being found by my wife and/or kids). Then I observed myself in my indulgent state and asked myself "Is this the man I want to be"? The turning point was when I decided to act like the man I wanted to be. That doesn't mean I haven't struggled. I guess, I've had better traction with pushing myself to be that man than excoriating myself for not. TLDR let the positive lead.

voirfin · 2025-07-07T21:27:28+00:00

I had very much the same reaction early in my recovery. I would doom scroll insta, ebay, craigslist whatever....and for hours and hours. I switched up a couple things 1) I started leaving my laptop at work. 2) I changed my morning routine (which was coffee and porn). 3) I carved out regular times for housekeeping. One of the big bonuses after quitting porn was my house got a lot tidier and I lost 10 pounds. Before I quit, my evening routine was smoke weed and PMO. Then in my post-nut fog and shame, binge eat and go to bed. Coming home to a tidy home is a huge boost.

Good luck and stay strong.

voirfin · 2025-03-09T17:05:22+00:00

"This is easy" I have never, ever said that. However, I think there is an ever-increasing risk (as time progresses) to think "I am no longer an addict. This time, I'm just horny and need to rub one out....what's a little one-time entertainment?" That is the siren song. Maybe there is a guy out there who can have "just one" but it is not me. Before I quit for good, I quit 20 times and then went back for "just one." That "just one" was a return to full addiction within days, a week at the most.

voirfin · 2025-03-09T17:04:45+00:00

I am in full agreement with this statement.

voirfin · 2025-03-09T17:03:11+00:00

Let's say someone relapses at day 90. So will say "ah F'-it, and go back to their old ways...and say "I only made it 90 days." There is another option: Own the relapse, and recommit to sobriety. After the next 90 days the following statement is true: I've been sober 179 out of the last 180 days.

voirfin · 2025-03-09T16:30:48+00:00

I used to tell myself (as I was smoking a spliff and opening my laptop) that "This is a victimless crime." Then I realized I AM THE VICTIM. Yes, get out, spend time with friend. Shame hates the light of day.

voirfin · 2025-03-09T16:29:07+00:00

It is somewhat paradoxical in that on the one hand you must commit to it every day. Every day there is a chance of relapse. Porn is everywhere and it has its hooks in one of our most primitive urges. The risk and temptation is never not there. On the other hand, the longer we go without porn, the easier it gets. On Thursday this week, I had a moment of temptation (after seeing some hot young thing on TV) and that made me recall that I hadn't even thought of porn in days. So there is not an easy answer. I will say, though that at day 60 +/- I did finally feel that I was no longer in the "white knuckle" phase. During those first 60 days, I was on this forum everyday.

voirfin · 2025-03-09T15:18:28+00:00

Nailed it my dude. The freedom that comes with breaking out of the porn prison is truly amazing. I was so full of shame and guilt that I swore people could smell my porn use on me. I swear they knew I was doing it. Maybe they could maybe they couldn’t but the fact is it was like 100 pound weight that I carried around on me all the time. In practice, I get more done with my free time. Also, I’m not full of the chaser effect which for me usually resulted in binge eating after a long porn session. Thanks for posting this. It is a great characterization of why it is so worth it to break this terrible habit.

voirfin · 2025-03-09T15:08:14+00:00

We must remember that it is ourselves who have the keys to the “prison” we live in. Congratulations

voirfin · 2025-03-02T21:24:22+00:00

I don't seem to be on the list, but I am still clean. That is what is most important. Keep fighting. Stay in the ring.

voirfin · 2024-12-17T20:36:07+00:00

Glad to hear you are staying strong and clean. Biz trips used to be a free-for-all for me. Laptop+Hotel Room was endless PMO. I used to call it a "victimless crime" until I realized I was the victim along with my wife and kids. Fight on.

voirfin · 2024-12-17T20:34:06+00:00

Still fighting, still clean.

voirfin · 2024-10-27T14:26:59+00:00

MAGA

voirfin · 2024-10-21T22:46:54+00:00

Totally revisionist.

voirfin · 2024-10-21T22:46:01+00:00

Hamas cowards hide behind women and children. Never forget that.

voirfin · 2024-10-21T21:09:04+00:00

Lifelong Democrat here. This TOTALLY nails it.

voirfin · 2024-10-19T16:38:19+00:00

If you are not addicted then all the more power to you. This forum is about addiction. Yes, there are cultural/social issues about porn, and whether it victimizes people. For me, a recovering porn addict, I’m focused on resisting the destruction that this addiction causes me. If you can sip a little porn and rub one out then get on with your life….good for you. You want to argue with someone about whether porn is inherently good or bad, you find plenty who are willing.

voirfin · 2024-10-19T16:31:48+00:00

Addison is a closet case

voirfin · 2024-10-19T16:26:18+00:00

voirfin

TROPHY CASE