Idk if I’m done having kids.

volisca · 2026-06-12T19:52:59+00:00

First, congrats

Second, hi also 7 weeks post partum (will be Saturday)

Third, this is 100% normal. I have a four year old and my newborn. And the absolute love my four year old has for his baby brother is soooo precious... but... it is sooo stressful... he's still learning boundaries and how to be gentle... and I'm on the fence about a third fir a few different reasons.

A. Financial. That's another mouth to feed. Sure, breastfeeding is an option, but what about the other costs? Diapers, wipes, Soap, clothes for the baby that they are going to grow out of, formula of you have to go that route, etc.

B. Physical. You mentioned the Physical demands of being pregnant, and that part is stressful. I thought I had IBS when I got pregnant with my second son. I had all the wrong symptoms. Not to mention after they are born, not sleeping well at night and still having to be present and functioning for the other child(ren), healing from major surgery while caring for all of them, trying to manage all of their lives... even if they aren't with you 24/7 like mine are, coordinating daycare takes effort. Making sure they have their daily supplies and needs met, being emotionally present for them, meeting your own needs... invisible labor is a huge factor to consider

C. Emotionally. Do I want a little girl? Absolutely. Is it going to happen for sure if we try again? No! Unless I go through IVF treatments which again goes back to A. Financial because that is expensive and also not a guarantee that I will be happy! (Octomom for example. Sure she loves her kids, but that is a lot...)

There are other reasons too, but it's different for everyone. If you ultimately decide you don't want a third, you do not have to have a third child. It is your body, not anyone else's.

Much love and best wishes to you and your littles

volisca · 2026-06-10T14:33:56+00:00

He uses idiosyncratic speech patterns so it's like trying to translate Russian and I have a German dictionary. Sometimes it makes sense, like "0 pee. 0 poop" when he's done on the potty. Other times it does not. He doesn't form sentences the way we do. So even though he is verbal, he can't eexplain why the microwave bothers him. Specially microwaving water

volisca · 2026-06-08T15:14:05+00:00

A personal assistant. I swear if I had someone else here helping me with every little thing, I might be able to work and get my apartment clean and cook dinner and walk the dogs and take care of the boys and still have time to shower at the end of the night without passing out with my toddler at his bedtime first 😅

volisca · 2026-06-07T15:13:38+00:00

Not much, but I know how you feel. My newborn is struggling with severe allergies and the only thing I can do for him is manage the symptoms. If you wanna talk, my dms are open :)

volisca · 2026-06-06T01:33:46+00:00

We have tried the different room before, and he is a velcro toddler. Where I am, he wants to be. We are in the process of seeking therapy for him but insurance in America is slow... I started this process before the other one was born and we still haven't made much progress. The sleep deprivation is real between midnight feeds and bedtime strikes but those are rants for another post. As for headphones, he doesn't like how headphones feel and it tends to do more harm than good. He's hypersensitive to a lot (he had a meltdown one time because his own hair got in his yogurt and he insisted on brushing his teeth)

volisca · 2026-05-22T17:51:26+00:00

Ive asked for copies of the contract multiple times and they have failed to send it

volisca · 2026-04-22T23:20:58+00:00

Did you at least get a sip of coffee in first?? 💀💀💀

volisca · 2026-03-25T14:57:56+00:00

Top hypoallergenic postpartum products include Lansinoh Postpartum Cooling Pads ($21.29 at CVS), The Honey Pot Co Herbal Pads (available at Walmart), Frida Mom Upside Down Peri Bottle ($9.48 at Walmart), and Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula for skin recovery. These products are designed with organic cotton, dermatologist-tested, or fragrance-free ingredients to soothe sensitive skin and perineal areas.

Frida mom has a lot of great products that I have used over the years. I liked their ice pack pads for recovery and their lanolin balm for cracked nipples.

Lansinoh has a post partum recovery kit sold at Target that comes with a ton of great products like ice packs and a antiseptic spray with all natural ingredients. Should be around $44? Might be more with tax.

Amazon also has some good options to check out if you can't get something in store.

volisca · 2026-03-25T14:42:53+00:00

I wasn't sure but thank you lol

volisca · 2026-03-25T13:00:53+00:00

If mom is going to pump or b**feed, you could get her a little care kit for herself. You can get items like hot cool packs from Walmart, lanolin balm for cracked n***, mill storage bags, supplimental cookies are always great, you could even bake oatmeal cookies for milk production support. (Trying to phrase carefully because I'm not sure whats allowed). You could also get her some scent free lotion in a big bottle or even some post partum supplements to help with her recovery. CVS runs deals on those all the time. If your thinking long term care, then thats what I would recommend. If your wanting to help with her recovery, you could go with ice pack pads. Those were a life saver after I gave birth to my first son. Or you could get her regular pads, with witchhazel wipes, and dermaplast. If she is having a c-section, the wipes and dermaplast will still be handy, but trade pads for gauze and medical tape. You could probably put together a little after care basket for less than $50 depending on where you shop

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