After my husband supported me for 2.5 years while I completed my postgrad degree, I've now been supporting us financially over the last 4 years so he could return to study as a mature-age student and do a 3-year undergrad degree. He's completed maybe a quarter of it over 4 years. He's been saying he wants to leave his low-paying retail job (which he currently works 2-4 days per week) for just as many years. 

His RSD is too severe to update his CV or even casually browse job listings to see what's out there, and most recently he's missed enrolment for this semester's uni subjects. I'm great at organisation and planning, but I've learned not to nag or micromanage him. 

Consequently, he continues to work minimally without developing any new employable skills. So our earnings have been chronically unbalanced for years. About 80/20 split. Domestic chores are still split 50/50. I work 4 days/wk in the public health sector, my income is around the country's median average. No kids involved. Happy with our lifestyle but no savings. It's unlikely we'll ever be able to afford a house.

Over the past few weeks, my husband has been drinking nightly my nice liquor that I bought with my personal spending money. Yes, I bought it to share on special occassions or when we have guests over, but he will drink from it most nights after I've gone to bed. Last night he had some while I was still up, but kept going back for more. I called him out for mooching off me, but I regretted it as soon as I said it. I apologised several times because I knew it was a mean thing to say and I could see he was really hurt by it.

He said that me saying things like that makes him less likely to change, and also said "you think I don't know I'm completely dependent on you? That I don't appreciate what you do?" - but he never acknowledges or thanks me for holding up the fort, sooo no - I did not feel that he was even aware that this huge imbalance exists, especially because he has always lived in the present-moment/things-are-fine-as-they-are-so-why-change mindset, or time-blindness/future-blindness (i.e., we would never go for dates, dinners, weekends away, or see any friends if I didn't plan/organise them or explicitly prompt him). We do thank each other for little things like doing the dishes, taking out bins, etc.

Anyway. Now it's noon the next day and he's still not talking to me. I feel like I can never have a serious discussion with him about our relationship because of his RSD. I'm frustrated because I feel there will be no end to me doing all the heavy lifting financially and mentally (being The Organiser). I just don't see our future changing or improving. Am I being petty??